Twisted Perfection
by Mooncheese
Summary: Remus has always tried to be honest, but with this he can never be truthful about. His secret is a deadly curse they could surely never understand. Every single month he must lie to his friends, put on a happy face to the world...but is it working? G-rate
1. Default Chapter

Remus lay on his bed, gazing up at the ceiling. With one, idle hand he pushed back his tawny coloured hair, inwardly musing as to how many hours there were left until the full moon rose. How many hours there were left of his sanity, his human mind.

Weakly, he pushed himself up, feeling his muscles tremble under his weight. A very ill placed, full length mirror was directly opposite him, and with darkened eyes he gazed into it.

A sickly pale boy stared back, spiky brown hair sticking to sweating, chalk white cheeks. Even from here he could see the faint gold glimmer to his normally blue eyes, or was that just his mind acting up? It often did a few hours before…before…

Remus shuddered, lifting up a hand to inspect before his eyes. It was the waiting that was the worst. The constant heavy, unbearable waiting. It was like knowing you were going to throw up, and the sweat was lining up at your forehead, and the horrible truth was lurking in the back of your mind: any minute you were going to hurl. He winced at the thought, checking the nails weren't going to burst into razor sharp claws, patting his nose to stop it lengthening into a furry grey muzzle…like he was some kind of dog…

_But that's what I will be_ Remus thought, his eyes trailing back to the ceiling, _Soon. I will be a monster, out of my mind, a vicious, snarling, drooling monster…_Unexpectedly, he felt his eyes sting with tears. Hastily, he blinked them away.

"Pull yourself together, man." he hissed. _Or should I say, beast…_

Angrily, he thumped his pillow, rolling away from the mirror, but he could still see it as clear as day. He saw his reflection up close, the white faced, gasping little boy, the screams of pain issuing from his mouth, the fangs suddenly ripping from his gums, the lurching and twisting as all his internal organs switched places as though in some sick dance…

Remus snapped his eyes open. There were voices outside the door, footsteps drawing closer. Well, he said outside the door, but he could tell they were a good few metres away. And even from here he could pick out their voices…those loud, hyper voices he knew so well…

"Oh, fuck!" he whispered. That was Sirius, surely, and that – that voice had to be James, arguing companionably as though he were with his sibling. Remus' breath caught in his chest, everything was growing dim, black clouds were creeping round his vision, they would come in, they would see him, they would suss everything out…

One hand thrust out, scrabbling frantically on his bedside table. Where was his wand! Shaking fingers flew over the scratched surface like spiders, God, they were getting closer, any minute they would see him, a sweating, shivering wreck…

Finally, his fingers closed over the familiar wood of his wand. Mustering any last energy he had, he pointed it at the curtains whilst muttering an incantation. Reluctantly, as though they were as exhausted as he, the drapes drew wearily across, blocking him from view.

Just in time.

"Madam Pomfrey!"

James' loud, demanding voice burst over him like a drum. Remus's eyes widened as he saw James's outline move just beyond his curtain, and beyond that he saw a second shape fling itself happily onto a bed.

"Madam Pomfreeeeeeeeeey!"

"Careful James, or you'll damage that arm of yours even more." Sirius's voice snickered, and Remus tried to draw deep, steadying breaths, but it was like someone had clamped a pillow over his lungs. "Calm down now," he thought, "They can't see you. Calm down."

"Sirius, shut it! MADAM POMFREEEEEEY!"

"_What on earth do you think you're playing at!"_

Like some obscure bird of prey, Madam Pomfrey swooped down on the gangling figure of James, who instinctively ducked. Remus watched, clutching his chest as a familiar spasm of pain shot through it, signalling that within the hour he would transform.

"Madam Pomfrey, my arms broken-"

"Yelling your head off like the end of world is here, I've never heard anything like it-"

"James, you naughty boy!"

"Sirius, shut up!"

Remus let it all wash over him. His lips were tingling, his throat felt numb, the room was spinning before his eyes. What was happening? He shouldn't be transforming yet, it was too soon, no this couldn't be happening to him…

"Stop squeaking at me, the pair of you! Right, Potter, you come here, Black you can go back to your common room. _Goodness _knows how you managed to break your arm at this hour, how on earth did you do it Potter?"

Remus pressed his face to the pillow, trying to muffle the scream as another bolt of pain smashed into him with the force of a small tank. James was talking, saying something, and the sound of his voice only caused his body to convulse even more tightly. Oh god, this couldn't be happening to him, he had to get out of here, he had to get to the shack before it was too late…

"Mr Lupin?"

Madam Pomfrey's white, anxious face stared at him in horror. Gurgling sounds were rising from his throat, and unable to prevent himself he gave a scream as his guts started writhing and twisting within him. James, where was James? Had he gone? There was no time to ask, no time for her to reply as Madam Pomfrey disappeared and came back within the second clutching an old, tattered newspaper.

Bravely, she grabbed his hand and forced him to hold it, then with a sudden jerk like a massive hook had ripped into his navel he was gone.

Remus crashed into hard, wooden floorboards and at once he knew he was in the Shack. Some small part of his mind which was still human sang with relief, but this was torn away as claws started sproting out of his grey haired hands, he was being forced onto all fours, the screams turning rapidly into howls…

Then it was over. "It's over," he had time to think, before his human mind shut down to let the wolf dominate once more.

0oo0oo0oo0oo0

Hmm. Well that was unexpected. Please review!


	2. Normality

He was running. Running.

His paws pounded the ground time and time again, but every time he ran more than ten paces he was met with a wall. Snarling in frustration he threw himself at the wall, craving open air, the moonlight, for flesh…

Run. Run.

This time his travels carried him straight to a wall that swung open – a door! With a howl that tore his throat he flung himself down the stairs, they were flying up at him, but he only slammed into another wall, he turned but there was another, the room was shrinking, he couldn't stand it, he had to get out…

Run. Run.

He was closing up, he was being squeezed, suffocated, in agony he threw back his head and howled…

Remus woke up with a gasp, and instantly sat bolt upright. Vaguely, he registered he was drenched in sweat, and shaking, but he took barely any notice. For a moment he sat frozen, then with a huge jolt he ripped back his bed drapes and ran for the bathroom, where he was heartily sick.

Sweat was running in little rivulets down his forehead. Weakened and trembling, he leant his head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, blue eyes staring into nothing, chest heaving shakily. Oh, Merlin.

From outside the frosted bathroom window, the sun was just beginning to rise. Even from here Remus could see the shoots of pink mingling with gold as the entire world turned out to a new day. Grogily, he raised his head, then with a little sharp intake of breath, pulled back his pyjama sleeve.

A fresh wound lay open and gaping on the underside of his forearm, and feeling another twinge of pain, he pulled up his trouser leg to discover an even worse one in the shape of a bite. It seemed Madam Pomfrey hadn't mended all his cuts last night, after all. Shuddering, Remus held it up and limped unsteadily to the sink, trying to ignore the twisting feeling in his guts as a trickle of blood ran down his pale legs.

Gently, with his unhurt arm he pushed a flannel under cold running water, and started to wipe away the congealed blood around the cut. Frowning in concentration, he did the same for his arm, then slid his wand out of his pyjama pocket, and pointed it at his cuts, muttering a spell he had picked up from Madam Pomfrey. Instantly, clean bandages strapped themselves over the wounds, though not with the sort of professional neatness Pomfrey did it with. Sighing, Remus rolled the sleeve and leg back down, and walked back into his dim dorm.

In the warm, comfortable darkness, his friends were no more than indistinguishable lumps under their blankets, but even so Remus paused for a moment to look at them. He cocked his head to one side and listened; he could hear Peter's snuffling snores, James's heavy, irregular breathing and Sirius...Remus smiled. He couldn't even hear Sirius' breathing, thanks to the enormous pile of pillows he had burrowed under at some point during the night. Sirius's night time wanderings were often the butt of many jibes and comments from James and Peter, but Remus had always kept his amusement over it to himself. After all, he did enough night time 'wandering' of his own.

Gently he padded back to his own bed and sat with his arms curled round his legs, eyes staring into nothing. Every time one of the other boys grunted or rolled over in their sleep, he would jump and swing his gaze anxiously over to them, but they were only sleeping…dreaming…

He found himself gazing at James's sleeping face, the eyes closed, the mouth slightly open, one arm flung over the side of the bed and the other – obscurely – folded into a most awkward looking position over his back. Every now and then he would twitch, a leg kick out slightly perhaps, or his nose wrinkle up.

"What are _you _dreaming about?" Remus found himself muttering. It was one of his going-back-to-sleep games he played sometimes, only it was morning soon and the room was getting rapidly brighter by the minute. Still, he found himself looking at James' flushed with sleep cheeks, and wondering just exactly what someone like James would dream about.

"A girl, maybe? Or perhaps where you come from, that big house in the country you once told me about. I doubt you'd be dreaming anything bad. I've never heard you talk about bad experiences, but then, neither have I, and look at me." With a shudder, that shook him out of his reverie, Remus stood up, and one of the floorboards creaked loudly.

"'Scuse me." mumbled Sirius, and Remus bit his lip to try and stop himself laughing out loud. Then he leant down, rummaging through his suitcase for a robe. There was no point in going back to bed – he'd never be able to sleep anyway.

0o0o0

It was a pretty funny sight to Remus to see the other three boys tumble, dishevelled and eyes still full with sleep when everyone else in the Great Hall had been there for at least half an hour now. In fact – Remus glanced at the near empty plates around him – breakfast was nearly over.

Sirius collapsed into the place next to him, hair a complete mess and shadows under his eyes. "Alright, Remus?" he attempted to stifle a huge yawn, covering his mouth with his hand. "Blimey I'm tired."

Peter nodded in sloth-like agreement, resting his forehead temporarily on the table before snatching a muffin from the plate in front of him, and taking tiny, mouse sized bites from it, as though wanting to make it last as long as possible.

James, however, by total contrast jumped up on to the table, stepped over the milk jug and plopped into the bench on the other side. "How the bloody hell d'you manage to get up so early?" he frowned at Remus, while helping himself to some coffee, "I was always the early riser until you came along!"

His tone was joke-y, but Remus still felt mortified. "Sorry." he muttered, flashing a timid half smile at James, who immediately laughed.

"Remus, why are always apologising? I didn't mean it!"

He couldn't explain it even to himself. Shaking his head slightly, Remus started buttering himself some toast, though he was far from hungry. He had been at this school for over a month now and he still hadn't got rid of that stupid habit. Perhaps it was something to do with the fact this was third year, and everyone else already knew each other, knew the school, and although he was getting used to it he still felt he didn't fit in.

Next to him, Sirius snatched the muffin away from Peter.

"Hey!"

"What? You're not even eating it properly!"

Peter flushed red. "I was too eating it! I was just, er, I was…"

"Savouring it." Remus added helpfully, smiling as Peter nodded gratefully to him.

"Yeah! I was savouring it!" He punched Sirius's arm in a feeble effort to make him drop the muffin, which only resulted in Sirius punching him back and nearly knocking him off the bench.

"What have we got first?" mumbled James, completely indifferent to the miniature riot between Peter and Sirius which had broken out in front of him.

"Charms." replied Remus at once. He had memorized his timetable off by heart.

"Oh, good." James's eyes strayed to his arm, which Remus was holding carefully close to his side, hand resting on his lap. "What's wrong with your arm?"

Remus jumped like he had been stung. "Wh-what?" he asked nervously, automatically tugging down the sleeve of his injured arm a little further. "There's nothing wrong with it!"

James's eyes narrowed. "So why're you hiding it?"

"I'm not!" Remus immediately checked his voice, he was sounding too much like he was lying. He switched tones of voice. "I just banged it on the bedpost earlier, is all. Got a bruise, I reckon."

James didn't look fully convinced, but shrugged it off. "Ok. Chuck the milk over, I can't reach it…"

Sirius looked up. "What was that, Jamesie?" he asked sweetly, and James hastily stood up, grabbing the milk jug before anyone else could touch it.

"I didn't mean literally, Sirius!" he snapped, and Sirius sighed, looking slightly crestfallen.

"Damn. Thought I had him for a moment."

A bell rang somewhere in the distance, and James growled, tipping milk sloppily into his coffee and trying to drink it quickly, and nearly burning his tongue off at the same time.

"Ahh, aaahh!" he flapped a hand at his mouth, looking agonised, eyes popping. Sirius laughed, standing up and shoving the rest of his muffin in his mouth.

"C'mon guysh," he said with his mouth full, spraying bits of muffin all over Peter, who squealed, looking disgusted. James remained sitting, prodding his burnt tongue gingerly and staring longingly at his coffee.

"James." Remus called cautiously, "Come on, we have to go."

James sighed, still eyeing his coffee.

"Oh, for Merlins sake! Just bring it _with _you if you want it that much!" Sirius picked up the mug, and walked off holding it aloft. "Come on, James, the coffee's calling…"

In an instant James had vaulted the table and bolted after him, leaving Remus and Peter to follow on behind.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh yes. Another chapter. Go me, go me. In case you wondered, Remus only got accepted into Hogwarts in his third year because his parents didn't think he would have a chance of getting in. If you look in the third HP book it doesn't actually say what year he got into Hogwarts (I just checked lol), and for some strange reason I always imagined he got into Hogwarts in his second or third year. Not sure why.

Til next time people, and don't forget to review!

Mooncheese xxx


	3. Hostility

"…and always remember children, twist and jab!"

"Twist and jab," mumbled a few of the students around him, and Remus heard a snigger to his left which he instantly identified as Sirius. He didn't look up however, but reloaded his quill with ink, scribbling down in his notebook _twist and jab. _

"You may now test out the vanishing charm on the potatoes before you. Begin!"

Remus looked up. Everyone around him had started chatting amicably to each other, and Flitwick himself had disappeared behind The Daily Prophet, seemingly presuming no harm could come to anyone in such a lesson. Also spotting this, James took a fortifying swig of coffee before placing it on the table with a satisfied thunk.

"What did he just say?"

Sirius, on the other side of Remus tutted loudly, wagging his finger at James. "Really, James, you should have been listening!" he shook his head in what was obviously meant to be a disapproving way, then turned to Remus. "What've we got to do Remus?"

"Vanishing spell, he said it just now," muttered Remus vaguely, fixing his gaze on the potato. He took up his wand, concentrating hard. _Swish and jab, _he thought to himself, _Swish and jab. _

In one controlled movement, he swished and jabbed with his wand, and cried out "Evanesco!"

The potato flickered for a moment, then half of it vanished. The other half, however, remained obstinately visible.

"Look at it!" Sirius chuckled, taking up his own wand, "Ok, my turn!"

He expertly flicked his wand, ending in a kind of jab, and said firmly, "Evanesco!"

The potato vanished.

Remus blinked. He looked at the place where Sirius's potato had been, then looked back at his half one. He let Sirius's whoops of triumph wash over him, and smiled blandly, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling of disappointment in his stomach.

He snatched up his wand, feeling sudden determination blaze inside him. "_Evanesco!_" he snapped, jabbing the air around the potato. It again flickered for a moment, then disappeared entirely. Smiling truly he looked up, but no-one had noticed. Sirius was now pointing and laughing at Peter's weak attempts to vanish his potato (he had somehow managed to turn it blue) and James hadn't even touched his, but was instead indulging in the rest of his coffee, a look of content, dreamy satisfaction on his face.

Remus sighed, staring idly at his wand. It looked sort of blurred this morning, and it hurt to look at any kind of bright light. Thank Merlin Sirius had a hangover and insisted on sitting in the shadows as well. Everyone was so used to him screaming in an entirely over the top manner whenever sunlight fell on him they took no notice if Remus winced at the light.

Shaking himself out his reverie, he glanced up at the clock, and noted there was over 45 minutes still left of the lesson. Deciding he may as well have another go, Remus casually nicked James's potato from under his nose, but as he stretched across the desk his cut served him a viscous twinge, making him drop the potato with a sharp intake of breath.

James looked up at once. "Did it bite?" he asked jokingly, draining the remains of his coffee and gazing at the fallen potato suspiciously, then turned his gaze on Remus, who merely sat, feeling the pain of his cut subside, then weakly tried to turn his pained face into a smile.

James didn't smile back. "You don't look too good, mate," he said abruptly, running his eyes down to Remus's arm once more, "You look really sickly."

"Thanks!" Remus tried to laugh, but it all that came out was a throaty squeak. His heart was hammering furiously under his robes. James's calculating brown eyes seemed to be looking right through his sleeve as though he could see the bite-shaped wound. Hastily he stood up, and knocked over the stool he was sitting on.

"You know, you're right, I do feel sort of ill," he tried to say lightly. It wasn't a lie either; his head was throbbing and he really was starting to feel quite nauseous. "I think I'll head to the Hospital Wing."

James looked surprised. "Um, sure." He frowned, and as Remus swung his bag over his shoulder to go up to the front, he felt his eyes on his back. Nervously, he approached Flitwick's desk.

"Er, Sir?" he asked the newspaper quietly, "I'm not feeling well, may I be excused to go to the Hospital Wing?"

The newspaper rustled around for a moment, then Flitwick's eyes appeared over the top of it, looking at him with mild curiosity. "It's Lupin isn't it?" he asked squeakily, and Remus nodded, feeling his cheeks redden slightly as he saw those eyes widen in sympathy.

"Of course you can." Flitwick told him kindly, attempting with difficulty to turn a page in his paper. As Remus turned to walk out the class, he called after him: "And I hope you feel better soon!"

A few people in the front row fell silent, staring at Remus striding quickly past them. Out the corner of his eye he saw James muttering to Sirius, then the pair of them glanced simultaneously over at him. Desperate to escape all the accusing stares and whispers, he quickened his pace even more. Once he was out the class, Remus broke out into a run, which he immediately slowed with a gasp of pain.

Slowly, he walked down a narrow flight of stairs, holding onto the rail. As he neared the bottom, a flash of Flitwick's sympathy filled gaze came into his mind, and he frowned.

_Couldn't have been more patronising if he tried, _he thought angrily to himself, pausing for a moment to clutch at his trouser leg, through which he could feel the bandages starting to unravel. _Oh, you poor thing, fancy being a werewolf! And I'm not the one who can't even flick through a newspaper without difficulty…_

A nearby portrait gave him an odd look, then called out: "Are you alright, lovie? Anything I can help you with?"

At his silence, she carried on. "Woman of the world, me. Not much I couldn't help you with!"

Remus wanted to carry on walking, to get the infirmary quickly but he suddenly felt exhausted, almost winded, like someone had just kicked him in the stomach. Putting his back to the woman, he leant against her frame, hoping this would signify he wasn't going to talk.

Evidently she wasn't good with hints. "What is it, a girl? I'll bet it's a girl, its always a girl with a young man like you. So what's she like then? Pretty?"

Remus closed his eyes, trying to block her out. But her voice was like a dentist drill, high and whiny, puncturing any attempts at ignoring her.

"All you young people these days, always so vain about looks! I remember in my day, we went by character and nothing more!" She paused, waiting for Remus to respond. When only silence met her, she grew impatient, and shrieked out, "Hey! Don't just ignore me, you disrespectful cretin, I'm trying to _help _you!"

Remus snapped his head up, feeling hostility flaring inside him. Whipping round, he yelled at the portrait, "What the hell do you know? You're nothing but a god-damn PAINTING!" Not waiting to hear the woman's shriek of indignation, he turned and strode up the corridor, trying very hard not to limp and sincerely hoping nothing else would stop him before he got to the sanctuary of the Hospital Wing.

0o0

"...been acting odd ever since he came back from that visiting his mum, and I _know _he's hurt his arm."

Sirius's dark eyes looked completely perplexed as he pushed away a dark tuft hair from falling in his vision. "How d'you know he's hurt it?"

James gave him a scathing look. "Coming from someone who's hurt his own, er, limbs numerous times during Quidditch and never admitted it, I should know."

The confused look turned instantly into a grin. "Oh ho! So now the truth comes out! I knew you were faking it when you said you was fine in that last match against Slytherin!"

James's ears went rather pink. "No, I wasn't hurt then, just a bit bruised…"

But Sirius cut him off, laughing loudly. "A bit bruised? Yeah, I saw you limping when you were in the changing rooms…"

"Limp? I did not _limp_!"

Within three seconds the pair of them were arguing noisily, the thought of Remus driven completely out of James's head.

The look on Madam Pomfrey's face when she saw Remus's leg might have been amusing had he not been in so much pain.

"You should have come straight to me!" she ranted angrily, carrying over a steaming hot bowl of some magical solution to where he lay on a hospital wing bed. Plunging a sponge angrily into the sugar pink liquid, she handed it to him, her lips pressed together so tightly they were near white.

"_So _irresponsible, your body's weak enough as it is! Don't just sit there holding it, stupid boy, hold it to your arm, I'll do the leg…"

Deciding it was better not to argue, Remus silently pressed the sponge to his arm, though he had felt a tiny flare of indignation. So he was weak, was he?

"_Goodness _knows how much pain you could have been in, any longer and this wound would have started to fester! _How _I missed it the other night is unbelievable!"

Quietly, he tried to absorb himself in cleaning away the congealed blood but Madam Pomfrey's voice kept on digging into him like the portrait had done. There was a difference this time, instead of winding him up he only felt a sudden strong urge to break down and cry.

Flashes of James's and Sirius's faces came before his eyes every time he blinked, happy, carefree, acting as stupid as they wanted because they didn't have to be _responsible for themselves_.

He heard James's voice once again: _You don't look too good, mate. You look really sickly... _

And then, just as clearly he visualised their faces before him, the unyielding truth of his curse showing blatantly in their eyes…them shudder when they looked at him…their voices tight and forced around him…

Making excuses not to be with him…

Talking about him…

He saw them, the three of them, Peter, Sirius and James, all flinching away from him as they found out his secret, leaving the room every time he entered it…

"Good heavens, Lupin, I thought you would be more sensible than this!"

He jumped guiltily, and hastily continued cleaning his wound with renewed vigour. A new determination had filled within him, a lonely, desperate determination.

_Don't let them find out. They must never, ever find out._

But how? He questioned his own head desperately, how can I keep them from finding out? They're bound to notice at some point.

The answer came before he even finished the thought.

_Simple. Just don't be their friend. _

He felt as though he was falling into a long, black hole of oblivion, but he listened to that sinister little voice in his head, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

_Just don't be their friend. Make them hate you. It's not too late. You've only been here a month. _

Life without Sirius making stupid jokes to him…

_You can start today. Make them hate you _today.

"Alright Lupin. You're patched up now, but I want you to stay here a little longer. Your temperature is really alarmingly high."

Madam Pomfrey pushed him back onto the pillows then tapped away, tutting and muttering to herself. He lay there, clear blue eyes suddenly dimmed to darkness, gazing at the ceiling with nothing but his own torturous thoughts for company.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh yes. Another chapter. I wasn't too pleased with this one, it was a bit too jumpy for my liking, but I've edited it and stuff.

Anyway. I would just like to say thank you a thousand times to all my reviewers. I couldn't believe how many I got!

Till next time, everyone, and don't forget to review and make my day…

Mooncheese xxx


	4. Generosity

Truth to be told, James felt a little apprehensive about visiting Remus in the hospital wing. Glancing idly at Sirius attempting to run up a wall, he carried on walking, not bothering to stop or even join in as he usually might have done.

"Jamesieeee! Wait for meeeeee!"

He didn't stop or even turn round. He continued to walk on, locked in his own thoughts as he watched his feet come out one after the other. Remus had looked so guilty when he had asked him about his arm…like he had something to hide…

"OI!"

Sirius's voice shattered his musings like a sledgehammer would through brick, and the next thing he knew a pair of arms had wrapped round him and Sirius's weight hit him like a ton of lead.

He staggered, legs buckling as Sirius curled his legs round his waist too, giggling for all the world like a hyperactive schoolgirl. "Yee-ha! Ride 'em, cowboy!"

"Sirius, get off you muppet!" Trying not to laugh in spite of himself, James reached two hands behind his back in an attempt to throw his mate off, which only resulted in Sirius laughing hysterically.

"Ah! Aragh, no, that tickles, stop it!" writhing and cackling fit to burst, his limbs finally loosened their monkey-like grip, and with a dull thump he hit the floor.

There was silence for a moment, in which Sirius stared in complete shock at the opposite wall, face screwed up in pain.

"Ouch," he stated finally, glaring accusingly up at James, "Meanie. That hurt."

James had no sympathy to spare for Sirius as he had just discovered two large, muddy footprints on his robes. Shaking his head and deciding there was no point in making a fuss over it, he offered his hand to Sirius, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled up, wincing.

"I won't be able to sit down for a week," he grumbled as they made their way up the corridor once more, "Why are we here anyway?"

James stared at him in disbelief. "Si, you have the memory of a goldfish. We're going to see _Remus, _remember?"

"Remus who?" joked Sirius as they neared the stairs that led up to the Hospital Wing, "Arargh, no, I can't manage stairs James, my butt's killing me…"

"Oh, yes you can," said James firmly, grabbing the back of his robes and hauling him up the stairs, ignoring Sirius's yelps of pain with each step. "We have to find out what's wrong with the guy, you even said so yourself."

"I did?" frowned Sirius as they finally approached the Wing's door, him taking slightly exaggerated limps.

"Yes, you bloody well d-"

He stopped. Here was the Hospital Wing. There was Madam Pomfrey. There were the spotless beds and chairs.

And no Remus.

"Back again?" frowned Madam Pomfrey, striding briskly over to them and fixing them with a severe look. "Alright, which one of you is hurt this time?"

"I am!" groaned Sirius, clutching his backside, and James hastily pushed him slightly.

"None of us is hurt, Madam Pomfrey, we just came to visit Remus."

"Oh? And why would you want to do that?" Pomfrey was looking at them as though sure they were up to no good, her large brown eyes narrowed slightly.

James shrugged, thinking it was an obvious question.

"Well, I'm sorry Potter but Mr Lupin left over an hour ago."

"Over an _hour _ago?"

She looked at him all the more coldly. "Forgive me for asking, but what exactly does this have to do with you, Potter?"

His defensive answer to everything came automatically. "Nothing! I mean," he added hastily as Pomfrey looked even more forbidding, "We're his friends. Mates. Wondered, er, what had happened to him this morning, in Charms. That's all."

Her expression grew slightly softer. "I see. And what did Lupin tell you was wrong with him?"

Yet again, he shrugged, feeling as though he was being cross examined. "Said he felt sick or something like that."

She studied him intently for a moment, then said briskly, "Sorry, I can't help you on that matter Potter. I would, however, suggest your dormitory, perhaps, or even the library."

"The _library_?" Sirius spoke up, looking stunned. "Why the hell would he want to go there?"

Madam Pomfrey turned to him, arms folded. "Not all students are like you Mr Black, meaning that perhaps Mr Lupin has opened a book at least once in his life. Now, get out, you're cluttering my infirmary. Go on, shoo!"

_The hemlock plant is most commonly known for being used in most poisons, and will cause a slow and painful death. The drinker, should this vicious plant be mixed with the appropriate ingredients, will suffer a dying period of up to one hour, by which time their eyes – _

Remus snapped the book shut, and slid it back into its place on the shelf, shuddering. After all that had happened to him, he didn't think his stomach could handle another gruesome description of pain, and death. Standing up and walking quickly away from the book, he headed for a table where several first years were doing their homework. Choosing a corner to sit by himself, he sank his head into his hands, running his fingers through his hair.

It was getting long again, he thought idly to himself, tugging at some strands of hair at the nape of his neck. And he had only cut it two weeks ago. His hair was certainly more prone to growing faster than the other boys, but by the time it reached a certain length it slowed down, so Remus was compelled to leave it at that length. Only here, at Hogwarts, boys had short hair. No-one, other than Sirius (who was well liked enough to do what he wanted) had their hair longer than past their ears.

Remus played with a bit of hair, pushing it out his eyes. He would get it cut again soon, he decided.

The first years were looking at him nervously, as though worried he might leap forwards and bite them or something. Gently, he offered them a wan smile and they hastily looked back down, quills speeding up on their parchment.

He looked away, up at the ceiling. It was wonderfully quiet in here, only ever broken by the tapping of the librarians heels tapping across the carpet, but without a book it was almost _too _quiet. Perhaps he had been around Sirius and James too long, but he almost wanted something noisy to come bursting in here, to distract him from that awful, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and to somehow try and stop flashes of memories from the other night.

Remus could never remember anything clearly from his nights as a werewolf, but at any time the next day he could be sitting still, happily chatting when a sudden memory of trying to tear the wall down with clawed paws would smash into his mind without invitation. He could feel an ominous presence growing and growing in the back of his brain, and instinctively he put up a hand to rub his head.

He didn't want those memories there. If he had to live with being what he was, then he would rather he could remember known of it.

Sometimes life was pitiless.

Staring down at the table top, he became engrossed in tracing the wood grain patterns with his finger. Vaguely, he wondered where Sirius, Peter and James were. He hadn't seen any of them since Charms that morning, having sought refuge in the library, and now it was lunchtime. He could quite easily picture all of them in the Great Hall, Sirius attacking his food with sloppy enthusiasm, Peter eating his very slowly, as usual and James…

Remus sat bolt upright, his stomach giving a huge lurch. A first year jumped in surprise, and an ink bottle went flying but he paid it no attention. No. He had not just heard James's voice. He had just been thinking about him and his mind had played a trick on him.

He sunk back down in his chair, but no sooner had he done so did he leap to his feet, heart racing. There was no mistaking it this time, that cackle of insane sounding laughter just outside the library doors. With a growing feeling of dread he watched as the door started to swing open, then on a sudden, terrified whim flung himself behind a bookcase.

The door was open.

"…and then _I _said to Snape, 'Oh yeah? What you gonna do about it, Snivellus!' His face – Merlin, you had to be there James!"

Two peals of raucous laughter shattered the suffocating quiet , and Remus watched, feeling a disquieting feeling of de' ja' vu as Madam Pince the librarian swooped down on them in a heartbeat.

"This is a library! If you wish to remain in here, then keep the volume DOWN!"

Sirius looked round, innocently bewildered.

"Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry!" he chirped in a voice that almost sounded polite. At least it would, if it wasn't glazed in the tiniest amount of sarcasm. "Won't happen again!"

He was held in her hawk like gaze for a moment, then she finally stomped away, muttering to herself.

Remus backed away from the shelves, trying not to breathe too loudly. James's eyes had just swept the room, and they had come close, very close to finding his hiding place. Keeping his footfalls as soft as he could, he slunk away to the window seat, contemplating pulling the curtain round him.

He decided against it. It was doubtful they had come in here to look for him, and by drawing the curtain he would bring even more attention to himself. Leaning his head on the cold window, he gazed out at the top of the Forbidden Forest, waiting for them to leave.

He caught snatches of whispers from their direction, and if he listened carefully he could piece together their conversation. Almost against his will, he turned his head, fixing his gaze on his roommates through the shelves of books and listened.

"…won't be in here… mad if he is…"

"She said…is kind of bookish anyway…use your head!"

Intrigued despite himself, Remus tore himself with difficulty away from the conversation. If he was vain, he thought to himself, he would think that they were here to find him. But that was ridiculous…why should they care? They didn't really know each other that well…sure, they had been kind to him, or as kind as guys could get. But they wouldn't come to a library to look for _him_! They were looking for Peter.

Remus leant his head back on the window, and let them carry on talking about Peter. He would just stay here. He wouldn't be seen. They would find Peter and go soon, anyway.

"Let's split up. You go that way, I'll go this."

"James! You're not thinking of letting me go on my own!"

Remus snapped his head round so fast he cricked his neck. A stomach wrenching twist was felt in his belly, Sirius was coming round the corner, and he was heading _right for him. _

There was no time to hide. In a second Sirius's dark eyes had swept the room, then finally rested on him.

They widened in surprise. "Oi! Jamesie, I found him!" Sirius shook his hair out his eyes, then bounded towards him like a puppy. "Remus! Where the bloody hell have you been?" He came right up to him, still looking bemused as though unable to believe anyone could stay more than five minutes in a library, but nonetheless sat right down next to him on the window seat. "Oh, Jaaaames!"

James sauntered round next, and he too looked mildly surprised to see Remus there. "Yo," he grinned, standing in front of them. "Comfy down there is it?"

"Oh, yes it is," smirked Sirius, sprawling his legs right over Remus so he was nearly sitting on his lap. "Wouldn't you say so, Remus?"

Remus couldn't help himself. He grinned.

"Very," he replied serenely, acting as though he didn't have an extremely weighty adolescent drumming his calfs on his knees, and glanced up at James. "Um, what are you doing here?" His voice came out papery and dry. He licked his lips, hoping he didn't sound apprehensive.

"Looking for you, stupid." James rolled his eyes, then strolled over to the bookcase. "Hey, do they have any books on Quidditch in here?"

"I should expect so," Remus called back, and for the first time since he had made that resolution in the hospital wing, felt suddenly quite light hearted. They didn't care he was in the library. James was even joining him in reading a book. And as Sirius started singing something about fuzzy wombats and manticore's with measles, (in a completely tone deaf voice) he felt a huge grin unfold on his face. At the moment, he didn't care if they found out or not. His secret couldn't have been further from his mind.

Of course, having a singing, drumming Sirius in your lap does distract you from other matters. Even if you do happen to be a werewolf.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Thank you so SO much to all my reviewers! There weren't many, but you know, they were still nice reviews and they encouraged me so much. Sorry this chapter took quite a long time in coming.

Til next time!

Mooncheese x generosity


	5. Flying

Remus saw his little sister that night.

It was a cold, breezy autumn day and he and Rain were out in the garden, tossing handfuls of dry, crackly brown leaves into the air with childish glee. He felt elated, delighted, watching the leaves shower his three year old sister before tossing some more up as well. He didn't know when he had felt so content and happy.

Amongst the swirling colours of brown, red and green he saw Rain's eyes turn towards him, blue eyes sparkling. "Russy!" she shouted, running off up the path, young fat legs working furiously, "Come catch me, Russy!"

He at once gave chase, abandoning the leaves that had held him so enraptured before. Laughter tore from his throat, and he saw her dart in and out of his vision. He chased her right up to the low, painted back gate which swung open as though pulled by string. Giggling madly, Rain rushed through it, only as Remus approached it also, it slammed shut.

Slowly, confused he skidded to a halt. Breathing hard, he looked about him, disturbed by the sudden silence. The gate was before him, towering over him like some monstrous giant, yet Remus was sure it used to be only neck-high on him before.

He put out a hand to push it open, then pulled it back like he had been stung. There was something menacing on the other side, he could sense it, and with wary eyes he started to back away.

A scream shattered the opaque silence, and Remus froze, heart banging away in a mad frenzy. "Rain!" he cried desperately, hugging his arms round his waist, and suddenly it occurred to him that he was no longer in his back garden. In a kind of horrified slow motion, he swung round and felt his stomach lurch sickeningly.

Branches of trees hung low over his head, beckoning him with dark, rough fingers. Everywhere was black as pitch, the air hung heavy with some kind of sinister promise as the full moon cast silver arrows into his eyes, blocking his vision. He whimpered, not daring to move, not daring to even call out, as a crow screeched with sudden terror behind him, and he heard it flying away with a mad rush of wings. Even as he stood there he knew why it was deserting this place, knew what was coming, for he had seen it so many times before… he watched, unable to move, his lips welded together as the bushes parted before him and a snarling, drooling outline faced him, fangs bared over bristled fur lips…even as it came for him he couldn't scream, couldn't shout out because both he and the wolf knew no-one would ever hear him…

"Remus! _Remus!_"

The wolf was tearing into him, teeth gripping into his shoulder, and for the first time Remus yelled with pain and fright.

"Remus, for God's sake, wake up!"

Something whipped him across the face, just as Remus blurred back into reality. Something was gripping his shoulder in an iron grip, and he wrenched himself free, catapulting to the end of his bed where he slammed into the bedpost. He crouched there, clenching the blankets in sweaty, petrified hands. People were all around him, reaching out hands full of injury and he snarled at them, backing further into his bed.

A voice spoke out of the suffocating darkness.

"Remus?"

He looked up at that. He picked out Sirius's face from the gloom, staring at him in shock. He spotted blond hair next, and the unmistakeable messy outline of James's hair. He vaguely registered the room around him, his curtains clumsily ripped back and a feeling of acute embarrassment overwhelmed him.

Peter was gazing at him with a kind of awed fright, and Remus looked away. He noticed his body was damp with sweat, and the feeling of mortification intensified.

"I…" his voice was nothing but a whisper, and his audience of three all visibly relaxed now they were sure he was awake. "I'm…sorry..."

James broke into slightly nervous laughter. "You had us scared there Remus. I thought I was gonna have to send Peter for Madam Pomfrey."

He didn't know what to say. Gently he sat forward on his knees and, for no reason, started examining his pillow. That too, he saw, was cold with perspiration. Softly, he pulled at some of the threads hanging out the lining, and wondered how best to explain himself out of this one.

"I had a nightmare," he spoke, and to his surprise found his voice quite steady. "It was…really bad."

Peter's voice piped up eagerly. "What was it about?"

Sirius nudged him, and Remus saw it. "Was I really loud?" he asked faintly, feeling rather sick. "Did I say anything?"

James shook his head. "Nothing really…you were just throwing yourself around, and kind of yelling all this garbled stuff. You woke me up."

"Sorry," mumbled Remus, feeling heat creep into his cheeks again. The air was stiff with curiosity from the other boys, he could almost smell it.

"What _were _you dreaming of?" Peter asked again, looking fascinated. "Was it horrible?"

Remus looked at him through half closed eyes, feeling a wave of nausea wash through him. "The worst thing you can imagine," he said quietly, before quickly unfolding himself and running into the bathroom, willing himself not to be sick.

As he splashed water onto his burning face, he heard them muttering quietly amongst themselves beyond the door, then to his relief heard the creak of bedsprings as all of them got into bed. He waited a moment to make sure each hanging had been drawn, then quietly padded back through the doorway. The room was still and silent, yet Remus was horribly aware of each boy listening hard to his footsteps, perhaps even peeking at him through a gap in their curtains.

He tried to slip back into bed as naturally as possible. They didn't know anything, after all. Everyone had nightmares occasionally. It was nothing they'd remember in the morning, in fact he was sure of it. He closed his eyes, feigning sleep, and waited until Peter's snores had filled the air again, then silently swung his feet out of bed and gathered up all his clothes. There was no attempting it, he would never get back to sleep. He would get dressed in the common room and read until sunrise.

What he didn't realise was that James, who always took a long time in getting to sleep, still lay awake and heard him gently close the dormitory door behind him. He didn't see James frown and turn over, his mind whirring.

James stared unseeingly up at the canopy over his head. Was it him, or was there something decidedly strange about Remus? He had always been a fairly quiet person, kept himself to himself since he had started at Hogwarts. But now he was even worse. Against his will, James felt his eyelids start to close. He gave a huge yawn and settled himself more comfortably. He would think about it tomorrow, he decided silently, before letting sleep take him over.

0o0

"Pass the sugar."

Peter's words cut through his thoughts like a knife, pulling Remus back down to earth with a bump. Snapping his head up, he relaxed when he saw he wasn't the one being addressed, and put his head back down, letting his hair fall over his face. He stirred round his rice pudding, gazing unseeingly as the milk flowed into the hole he'd just made with his spoon.

"There's none left," he heard James say, two seats away from him, "Sorry mate. Go ask someone else."

This could prove to be interesting. Glancing up from underneath fronds of hair, Remus distinctly saw Peter squirm.

"I – well, don't want to bother anyone…"

"Don't be daft," snorted Sirius, as he ladled copious amounts of cream on his apple pie, "No-ones going to be bothered about being asked for a bit of sugar, Pete. Look, _they _have some."

Peter continued to fidget. "Er – but, um, what if that isn't sugar? It could be salt!"

They all stared at him.

"Peter," Sirius said flatly, "Unless we have a dyslexic house elf on our hands, there definitely isn't salt in a bowl labelled 'SUGAR'."

Peter turned very pink, and mumbled something indistinguishable.

"What was that?" Sirius bent his head comically close to Peter's, who shoved him away.

"I _said,_" Peter muttered, slightly louder, "Could you go and ask them for me…?"

The look on Sirius's and James's faces didn't require an answer.

"Ok," sighed Peter, picking up his fork and spoon, "I didn't really want any."

But of course you didn't, thought Remus, watching Peter start to shovel down his pie very quickly, as James and Sirius exchanged looks. 'I wonder if they look at me like that sometimes,' Remus thought glumly, going back to his rice, 'They were all acting a bit funny this morning…'

The milk was creating little rivers between the soft white grains, turning into a waterfall if he pushed them all to one side of his bowl. What would happen, he wondered, if he was to drain all the milk away? Would some of the liquid stay behind in the rice? Very gingerly, he bought up a spoonful to his mouth, and tasted it.

Bleagh. Disgusting. He hated rice pudding.

So why the hell was he eating it?

"Remus," came a voice, making him start so suddenly his spoon went flying, "Why do you look so bloody miserable?"

Looking up, he saw all three boys staring intently at him, like he was a performing animal. Which he wasn't for another three whole weeks now.

"Er…" he said stupidly, looking from one to the other. "Why…?"

He had been meaning to say 'why does it matter?', but fortunately Sirius interrupted him long before he got the words out.

"Oh, come on man!" he cried jubilantly, flinging an arm round his shoulder, "It's Friday! No more school for two days!"

Remus laughed. "What, two whole ones?"

Ignoring the sarcasm, Sirius plunged on. "Yeah! So, we should celebrate." Pausing for dramatic effect, he gazed round slowly at all of them. "Lets go play some Quidditch!"

"YEAH!" Everyone in the area winced as James stood up to double his enthusiasm. "BRILLAINT idea, Si!"

"Yup. I know. I'm a genius." Sirius smirked and stood up too. "Coming Peter, Remus?"

Looking remarkably green, Peter muttered something about homework and shot off. Remus, who had been just on the verge of saying the same thing, froze.

"I've got to, erm," he started to mumble, but before he knew it Sirius and James had hooked his arms and started to frog march him away long before he had the time to think up an excuse.

The look on James's face as he handed out the brooms rivalled one of an ecstatic two year old, and with a delighted whoop he sprung straight onto his, gliding easily upwards into the sky.

"Oi, James!" Sirius yelled after him, "We've got to get the ball out first, you plonker…"

His voice tailed off as it dawned on him the distant speck that was James just couldn't hear him, and with a grin he turned to Remus. "Looks like it's just me and you then, buddy." With a slight grunt he pulled down the large, wooden case from the shelf in the broom shed, dropping it heavily on the floor. After snapping back the buckles and flinging back the lid, Remus watched as Sirius undid a little catch and took out a large, red ball.

He pushed it into his chest, and Remus clutched it, staggering.

"We won't use the snitch, it could get lost," Sirius explained, closing up the box again, "And the bludgers are too damn violent. Least this lil thing won't cause us much trouble."

Remus tentatively ran his hands over the red leather of the ball, still trying to think of a way out of this. "Um, Sirius?" he said hesitantly, "I…can't…"

"Play Quidditch?" Sirius laughed, tossing his broom confidently from one hand to the other, "Don't worry about it! We're just gonna chuck the Quaffle around up there, no expert moves or anything."

He grinned encouragingly, and Remus willed himself to smile back. Inside he was shaking, and he'd heard once that brooms were like horses: they could sense your emotions. As though picking up on this, the broom leaning against the wall quivered slightly. And he wasn't even _on _it yet!

"No, Sirius, it's not that," Remus lowered his eyes to the floor. He had known James and Sirius long enough to realise that flying meant a lot to them, and he tried to push the image of Sirius's jeering face out of his head. "The thing is…I can't fly."

An awful silence came back to him, and desperately Remus raised to his eyes to see his reaction. The empty broom shed blinked back at him. Sirius was no-where to be seen.

"What the…?"

"Come _on _Remus! What are you waiting for!" Sirius appeared by the open door, already on his broom, dark eyes gleaming, "Hurry up!"

And before Remus could answer, Sirius pulled the broom handle skilfully round and shot off into the gloomy sky.

Remus glanced down at the Quaffle in his arms.

"What in Merlins name am I going to do _now_?" He muttered, feeling the tiniest flutters of panic starting up in his stomach.

00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Love and peace x


	6. Curiosity

"Come on, Remus!"

Lily looked up sharply, recognising that voice somewhat. A fairly petite girl for a fourteen year old, she sat with her elbows resting on the Quidditch pitch rails, red hair falling forwards to hide the fact that, no matter how much she was nodding and 'mm'ing, she wasn't actually paying any attention whatsoever to her friends empty chatter.

"…so I was all, like, wow! I can't believe that of you! I mean, she seems _such _an innocent person, you know?"

"Uh-huh," muttered Lily, squinting into the bright, white clouds. Two people were flying over there, two dark spots against the sky. Why weren't they playing? Frowning, she strained her eyes, holding a hand to shade her vision. The sun was bright today; though cold as it was October. She shivered slightly, huddling further into her cloak.

"…so I said, "You have to be kidding me!" but Emma was like, no, no joke, and now I just can't _wait _until I meet him!"

"Mmm." Lily leant further over the rails, just as a vicious wind blew, mixing her vivid hair into what was sure to be knots. Irritably, she held it back, now looking down at the pitch. There was someone down _there _as well, she noted in surprise, someone with what could only be a broom. So why weren't they flying?

She slumped back in her seat. Her friends words were melding into a nice, background noise amid the wind, giving her time to think. Slowly she turned, looking her in the face, smiling and nodding but still not listening.

_Why am I up here anyway? _She frowned, twisting one tangled piece of hair round her finger, eyes glazed. Her friend continued to talk, gesturing excitedly.

_Oh yeah. I remember now, she found me here. _

Lily shook her head, sighing. It was so hard to find peace these days, somewhere to be away from her gossiping, laughing friends. Yet, no matter where she went, they always sought her out. Today she had thought the Quidditch stadium was safe enough, but no, Hannah had found her. Again.

With an abrupt movement she stood up, shaking out the creases in her robes. "Sorry Hannah, I have to go. Homework, you know." The charming smile on her face faded as Hannah continued to talk to the air, eyes fixed on the flying figures in front of her. Tentatively, Lily started walking away, glancing behind her as she went.

Her friend carried on talking to herself, now laughing at some joke she had just made. Shrugging, Lily left her to it and started down the stairs.

0o0

Remus was starting to get pissed off.

James and Sirius were hovering expectantly in the air, talking and occasionally tossing the ball between them. And yet, he stood, this broom clenched between his knees, looking like such a fool he was surprised the trees hadn't started sniggering at him yet.

"Come _on_," he snarled at the wood clenched in his sweaty hands, "Fly, damn you!"

He might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

Remus took a deep breath. Maybe he wasn't taking the right attitude with it.

"Alright, how about this," he started determinedly, "You fly for me, and I'll polish your handle. How about that? Sound tempting?"

Clearly, the broom wasn't impressed. Remus felt his temper start to rise.

"FOR GODS _SAKE_," he yelled, grasping the handle in a death grip, "Why won't you just FLY!"

The effect was instantaneous. The broom sprang to life as though it had been poked with a cattle prod, gave huge bucking leap and soared into air.

Without Remus.

He stared at the now empty place between his thighs, feeling completely bemused. Then he heard the giggling.

Face flaming red, he whipped round and saw a girl standing there; hand clamped over her mouth, but was unable to stop the snorts of laughter bursting out.

"I – I'm so sorry!" she choked out, lips quivering dangerously, "I know I shouldn't laugh, oh but it was _so _funny!" And with that, she was off again, peals of laughter echoing around Remus until he thought his head would explode with all the blood rushing to it.

Foolishly he stood there, waiting for her giggles to subside.

With an obvious effort, she pulled herself back together. "I really am sorry," she said, coming over him, unable to keep the smile from her lips, "It was very rude of me. I would have been mortified if it were me!"

She bit her lip, restraining another giggle.

Remus felt himself smile in spite of himself, but remained silent.

The girl held her hand out, eyes glowing warmly. She had very green eyes, Remus noticed suddenly. Almost the colour of the grass around them.

"Lily Evans," she smiled, and he shook her hand.

"R-Remus Lupin," he replied, tripping shyly on his words.

There was a moment of silence as they took each other in. Then she smiled again, white teeth showing.

"I was just heading to the library. Only homework stuff, very boring. Er, d'you want to come? Seeing as you haven't had much success flying?" Her eyes sparkled with laughter.

He hesitated, looking upwards. Sirius and James, tired of waiting had started without him, and judging from the shouts and swears coming from above had forgotten all about him. What did he have to lose?

"Yes, thanks," he murmured, and the two of them walked together off the pitch.

Two hours later found Lily and Remus in the library, heads bent over their books in simultaneous work. Mostly they just sat in silence, quills scrabbling away on parchment, but Remus preferred it that way, and he sensed Lily did as well.

He glanced at her over the top of his books. She was quite pretty in her own way, he thought, but what was more attractive was the way she completely lost herself in her books, in her writing. The way she bit her lip slightly in concentration, a small frown creasing her brow. From what he had seen of Lily Evans before, he had known her to be one of the large, gossiping groups of girls that circled the Gryffindor common room, feeding on any information they picked up, thriving on rumours. Remus didn't care much for people like that, as he had been on the butt end of many cruel rumours himself, but it was clear Lily, on her own, was quite different.

She felt his gaze, and looked up. He jumped and looked down guiltily, speeding up his writing. 'People don't like to be stared at' he reminded himself sternly, feeling his face grow hot.

Silence fell again, only as he worked, feeling his face slowly drain back to normal. Only…it wasn't just quiet. There was a definite background noise. Remus looked up sharply, a strange feeling of de' ja vu' swooping over him.

_Not again. _

Remus looked round, twisting in his seat, just as the library doors crashed open with extreme force, and James and Sirius, predictably, came striding in.

He sighed. It seemed he would never be able to hide from them.

Sirius looked round the room, quick eyes seeking him out instantly. "Reeeeeemmmuuuuus!" he called, bounding over. "What are you doing in _here_?"

On the other side of the table, Lily looked up, keeping a watchful silence.

"Homework," muttered Remus, looking down at his hands as James slid into the place beside him. Sirius remained standing, an astonished look on his face.

"But it's _Friday_!"

"No, duh," Remus thought, but said nothing. James and Sirius were looking at him as though he had sprouted an extra arm.

Lily cleared her throat slightly. "Friends of yours, Remus?"

Remus sensed James stiffen slightly. A slight sneer on his face, he looked across the table, and Lily looked straight back a him, the merest trace of a frown on her face.

"Yes, we are," James said, with the hint of a snap in his voice, "What's it to you?"

Lily looked at Remus, obviously waiting for him to introduce her. Nervously, he licked his lips and opened his mouth, but Sirius beat him to it.

"Hey, it's Evans, right? From our Charms class?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. How'd you know that?"

Sirius shrugged carelessly. "Heard your name from Flitwick once."

"Oh." For a moment, they all stared at each other, Remus agitatedly gnawing at a fingernail. Out the corner of his eye, he saw James's hand absent-mindedly ruffle up his hair.

"So…" Sirius turned back to Remus, light of a sudden memory in his eyes, "Why didn't you come up to us when we were flying? We were waiting for you!"

Opposite them, Lily gave a tiny giggle, and Remus felt his cheeks flare up. James bristled at once, glaring at her.

"Something funny, Evans?"

"No," Lily snapped, and abruptly stood up, gathering up her things. "Well, I'm going." She looked directly at Remus. "Nice talking to you, Remus."

"And you," Remus just about had the courage to mumble, only Lily had already gone, door thumping closed behind her.

"Whew! Thank Merlin!" Sirius shook his head, frowning. "Where on earth did you pick _her _up, Remus?"

"I didn't _pick her up_," corrected Remus, feeling his cheeks colour again. "We were just talking."

"Oh, sure you were," James said sarcastically, and he stood up. "Come on, lets get out of here, Si."

Sirius looked down at Remus. "Coming?"

Remus hesitated. James was giving him a very odd look, and for a moment he doubted whether he would be welcome to tag along. But then James nodded as well.

"Yeah, come on Remus. You've got the whole weekend for homework."

Feeling incredibly confused, he obediently stood up and followed them out. While James and Sirius walked on either side of him, chatting nonchalantly of other things, he maintained a cautious silence.

There was something very strange happening here. Something to do with James.

Yet he couldn't for the life of him put his finger on it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


	7. Acceptance

"And so," Sirius's voice sounded muffled through a mouthful of doughnut, "When I tried to get the old bat to reschedule my detention to Thursday, she doubled it to _two _hours!"

"Really?" From behind his huge iced bun, Remus could just about make out Peter's wide, shocked eyes. "But that's not fair!"

Sirius shrugged, wiping sugar from his upper lip. "I know. Doesn't mean I'm going to go to it, though."

The four of them were currently lounging in the kitchens, being served with so many cakes and doughnuts Remus lost count. Not that the house-elves were complaining, as far as he could see, judging from the huge, devoted grins on their faces they were _loving _serving up so much food.

"Yeah, but Sirius, this is McGonagall we're talking about here! She'll skin you alive if you don't turn up!" Not that James looked particularly bothered, as he helped himself to a generous portion of sponge cake. In fact, it was hard to decipher exactly _what _it was James looked like, behind the cream moustache and beard Sirius had given him earlier.

A huge, silver platter laden with doughnuts floated right in front of his eyes, making Remus yelp in surprise.

"Does sir want more doughnuts?" squeaked a large, blue eyed elf, beaming toothily up at him. "Sparky has made plenty, sir!"

"Er…" mumbled Remus, cautiously edging his chair away. "Um…no, thank you, I'm quite full…"

The large, sky blue eyes narrowed.

"Sparky wishes sir would have some more," squeaked the voice, though Remus could have sworn it had almost a growl to it, "Sir needs to be fattened up, if Sparky could take the liberty to say, sir…" The platter was so close he felt the metal sides digging into his throat. In a panic he looked down, and felt alarmed to see Sparky grin a little manically, eyes wide and bolting.

"Ah…" Remus cleared his throat nervously. "You know, maybe I _will _have another…thanks, Sparky…" Hand shaking, he pulled a random bun from the sticky pile teetering under his nose.

Much to his relief, the elf smiled happily and trotted off, huge platter balanced carefully in his long fingered hands. Remus watched him go, vowing to never refuse food from a house elf again.

"…what about you, Remus?"

With a start, he tuned abruptly back into the conversation. "Sorry?" he asked stupidly, blinking over at James.

"I _said, _don't you think McGonagall needs to loosen up a little?"

"Huh?" Remus stared at him, frowning. Then, with a jolt of memory, "Oh right. Yeah. Probably."

Sirius leaned forwards, moodily shredding up a piece of banana bread. "Oh, she needs to loosen up all right." A piece of crust hit the floor. "If how she sets her detentions is anything to go by." Another piece bounced across the tiles, scattering crumbs. "I'd say five years in a padded room ought to do it." With a sigh, he pulled off the rest of the crust and stuffed the soft, yellow bread into his mouth.

Remus watched him. "Why d'you do that?" he asked curiously.

Sirius glanced over at him. "Do what?"

"Pull off your crusts like that."

Sirius looked in surprise at the crusts on the floor. "I dunno."

Silence fell for a moment, as they all stared into space, thinking their own thoughts. Remus turned his gaze on the bustling house elves doing the washing up. Or at least, using their magic to make the plates wash themselves. It looked quite complicated, Remus thought. Even as he watched one house elf was directing four scrubbing brushes at once to clean pots with one hand, and was chopping up carrots with the other.

"It's 'cause they taste all burnt."

In confusion, they all turned their heads to focus on Peter, who stared earnestly back at them.

"Huh?" James and Sirius said simultaneously, reflecting Remus's thoughts exactly.

"The crust on the banana bread. It always tastes burnt!"

More silence. Peter blushed slightly.

"Riiiiight," James said slowly, raising his eyebrows. "Moving on from that _fascinating _piece of knowledge…Sirius, when is that detention supposed to be?"

"Uh…" Sirius checked his watch. "In four minutes time."

James stood up. "You're going to it."

"_What_?" Sirius stared at him like he was crazy. "Why?"

"Because if you _don't, _then she'll give you one for every night of the week! And you know what's happening this week, don't you?"

"Yes, James," replied Sirius promptly, "Bonfire night."

"Ye- no! What the hell? We have _Quidditch practise_, dummy! And the team needs you!" James punched one hand into the other, a look of fierce pride on his face. Then he looked at Sirius. "What's bonfire night?"

Sirius shrugged, glancing at Peter. "Peter was the one who told me about it. Apparently, it's the day all muggles go crazy and set off loads of bombs that make pretty colours."

Peter nodded. "It's true!"

"Really?" For a moment, James looked as though he wanted to inquire further into this, but shook himself out of it. "Anyway, whatever. Look, you're going to this detention. Now."

The four of them trailed out the portrait hole, Sirius audibly grumbling, "This is so unfair, I never make you go to your detentions!" yet following along behind everyone else quite willingly.

They all eventually made it to her classroom, with Sirius only ten minutes late, and they left him to mutter and grumble his way through the hour there.

0o0

It was midnight.

Clouds scurried across a starless sky, driven by a harsh wind that blew, cold enough to numb the skin of any mortal. The lake rippled as though it were liquid metal; cold grey waves lapping the black shores.

Remus glanced out the window and shuddered, goose bumps prickling up and down his arms.

"Hey, Remus! We're back!"

He jumped and spun round, grinning as the three boys spilled through the door, arms laden with bottles of pumpkin juice, buns and anything else. They all looked flushed and excited, eyes gleaming.

"Honey, I'm home," drawled Sirius, dumping his load on his bed. "You should have come with us, Remus! It was great, we nearly got caught by Filch _twice_!"

He beamed, as though any sane person couldn't possibly wish for more than almost getting caught rule breaking by a caretaker.

"Oh yeah, we sure did!" said James, very sarcastically, "I mean, we saw him at the end of the corridor, it was such a near miss!"

Sirius smacked him round the head with a bag of rock cakes. "Oi! He looked right at us, _and _stopped for a moment. So there!" He stuck out his tongue, which might have been more effective if he had been able to keep the huge, hyper grin off his face.

James regarded him without smiling. "Sirius, doing childish things like that is not big and it's not clever." He sighed, shaking his head seriously, then pulled the corners of his mouth down, crossed his eyes and waggled his tongue as widely as he could.

Peter and Sirius cracked up, and Remus couldn't stop himself from chuckling too. He looked so ridiculous!

"Very – very nice James," chortled Sirius eventually, "Now get your mask off, its not Halloween yet."

"Oh, cheers!" retorted James, "I'll have you know that _this _face gets all the girls falling at my feet."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I call it: 'The Potter Charm'"

Sirius shook his head, dark eyes gleaming. "Potter Charm, my arse! How many girlfriends have you had exactly, James?"

The four of them, without any talking had somehow come to sit in a rough circle on the floor. Sirius was lolling back on his elbows, Peter was on his stomach with a mouth already full of sweets. James leaned on a bed, one arm sprawled on top of it. He looked rather pink.

"Loads of girls fancy me!"

"So? It doesn't mean anything unless you actually go out with one of them. Which you haven't done yet!"

James went even redder. "Oh well. I can just stay a handsome bachelor for my entire life, never being tied down!" He grinned suddenly, leaning his head back on the mattress as well. "Isn't that a good thing?"

There was a pause. Then, "S'pose so," grunted Sirius, while Peter nodded slowly, a jelly slug hanging down his chin.

James looked over at Remus. "What about you, Remus? What d'you reckon?"

Remus frowned, taken aback at being asked his opinion. "Er – I dunno." He looked at his feet. "I don't think I have much choice in the matter," he added softly.

He immediately fought the urge to slap his hand over his mouth. He didn't know how that had slipped out. Heart speeding up slightly, he looked round and saw them all staring at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Sirius bluntly, "You betrothed or something?"

Oh Merlin. He'd landed himself in this one. "Of course not!" he laughed nervously. "It's just…no girl would ever look twice at me."

Which was perfectly true. After all, no-one ever had. He felt the colour in his cheeks deepen as they all blinked at him in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" said Sirius, "That Evans girl likes you."

It took a while to realise what he meant. "She does not!" Remus looked at him, stunned. "I've only ever talked to her once, and even then we were only doing homework!"

James shook his head, sighing. "And Remus, how did you end up doing, ah, _homework _together?"

"_I _can't remember," muttered Remus defiantly, "It was just a…spur of the moment thing."

Sirius gave a very high pitched chuckle. "A lot of things happen on the spur of the moment, y'know Remus!"

"Like you're the big expert," Remus grinned, then checked himself. Sirius might not like him saying that. Anxiously, he looked over at him.

On the contrary, Sirius smirked right back at him. "More expert than you, apparently! And you!" He directed the last part of this statement at James, earning him a thump on the head with a pillow.

"Ooooh, has it progressed to pillows now James? Should I be scared?" Sirius crawled across the floor, cowering behind Remus. "Help me, Remus, save me from the wrath of James's pillow!"

A bag of marshmallows sailed through the air, aiming for his face. Sirius, however, reached out and caught them deftly before it touched a thing.

"Thanks, James! How did you know?" He laughed, ripping open the bag and then shoved four in his mouth at once.

James, smiling despite himself, flopped back down on the floor. "So, how'd detention with Maggy-Goo go?"

Sirius blinked. "'Oo?" he asked, accidentally spitting parts of marshmallow onto Remus's trousers. "Ooopsh, sorry Remush…" He swallowed. "Who's Maggy-Goo?"

James rolled his eyes as though it were obvious. "McGonagall. Duh."

"Why'd you say…?"

James shrugged. "Felt like it."

Sirius stared at him. Then he shrugged, obviously deciding to not even bother. "It went okay. She lectured me for being late for half of it anyway, so all I had to do was switch off and nod politely every time she paused. It was easy."

Remus looked at him. "What about the rest of it?"

"Lines. Must have been feeling too lazy to think up a real punishment."

Remus leaned back, letting the three of them talk, or sometimes, throw things at each other. He studied Sirius's face, animated eyes shining even when they were discussing the dullest of things, his arms gesturing wildly. There was James, his emotions not worn on his face as boldly as Sirius, yet it was still there, the odd quirk of his lip or laugh, the fall and rise of his voice, letting the world know (or at least the three other people in the room) that he was content. Peter…well, Remus had seen Peter nervous. He would fidget, sweat and sometimes, if you looked closely enough, you could see his eye muscle twitch. Not now. He was tuned closely into the conversation, piping up often with comments, or laughing along with the jokes.

They were comfortable around him, Remus realised. They were all totally at ease, not holding up any guards or masks. He'd never been around people that long without them flinching when he approached them, or kept their voices at a forced neutral around him. That was at home, where his secret was known by his entire family, cousins, aunts and uncles included. They nearly all treated him like he was some sick, highly contagious invalid. One cousin wouldn't even let him touch her.

Cautiously, he lifted an arm and tapped Sirius tentatively on the arm.

Sirius glanced round. "Wassup?" he asked cheerfully. Another spray of chewed marshmallow hit Remus on the cheeks. He wiped it off, grimacing.

"Er…Can I have a marshmallow?"

"No." Sirius's face was deadpan, then he laughed. "Don't look so worried! I was only kidding. Take your dammed marshmallow." He tossed the bag into Remus's lap, and Remus scooped them up.

As he chewed on his single marshmallow, he noticed how he was drawn right into the circle, not sitting on the outskirts of it as he automatically did at home. It was though he had been accepted. It felt…strange. Almost as though he was trespassing, or doing something against the rules.

Yet good. It definitely felt good.

So sod it. If they were comfortable around him, then he could be at ease around them.

After all, he thought with a touch of irony, wasn't that what friends were for?

Yet all the time, even when they engaged in an all-out marshmallow war, a niggling voice kept whispering at the back of his mind: _But do they really know what they're accepting? _

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Whoo-hoo! Did you like that chapter? Did you despise and detest it? Were there some parts you liked, some you thought were terribly cheesy? Well, don't keep it to yourself. Let it all out! Simply review me and you too can join my wonderful group of reviewers! Unless, of course, you already are one of the lovely people that do that already. In which case, I thank you…now.

Thanks for reviewing, lovely people.


	8. Guilt

As the days grew colder, blowing a harsh wind that brought with it the promise of snow, and the nights grew longer and darker, October slowly slipped by.

Lessons became easier, as Remus had now caught up and in some instances, advanced beyond others.

Trips to the kitchens became more frequent as the house elves grew friendlier.

Occasionally, journeys to the library occurred too, except these visits were strictly banned from Sirius joining them. This was not because Sirius particularly despised the library, no, it was Sirius's complete inability to keep from pointing and laughing at anyone who went to fetch a book, which was definitely frowned on in the library.

Remus would sometimes find himself curled up at the window at nights, counting down the days.

Peter ate as slowly as ever. And chewed with his mouth open.

James invented more nicknames for their Professors (his latest one became 'Flitty-Twit' for Professor Flitwick.)

And Sirius…well, Sirius was just as 'fun' and 'original' as he always was.

"I am so _bored_, I am so _bored_, I am so _bored_."

A hollow sounding _whack _accompanied every '_bored'_ part of someone's droning chant, much to Remus's confusion as he struggled to pull himself back to the land of living.

"I am so _bored, _I am so _bored, _I am so _bored…_"

He unpeeled his eyes, groggily blinking up at the canopy over his head, trying to fathom out the source of the chant. It was a very familiar voice. Annoyingly familiar.

"I am so _bored, _I am so _bored, _I am so _bo-_"

"SHUT UP!"

Ah. That was better. It had stopped.

"But I'm so _bored, _James!"

"Really?" came James's voice in mock-astonishment, "There's me thinking you were having the time of your life. How silly of me."

"But James…"

"What?"

"I'm bored!"

There was a thump, and a yelp of surprise at the distinct sound of someone slapping someone else around the head.

Now wide awake, Remus pulled himself upwards and opened the curtains, eyes watering as they always did in the morning. He yawned widely, fighting the temptation to lie back down and fall straight asleep.

"Wassgoinon?" he croaked sleepily, blinking down at the blurred vision of Sirius and James wrestling with each other on the floor.

"Sirius was banging his head on the wall," came a voice behind him, and he started and looked round to see Peter, sitting cross legged on his bed, also staring at James and Sirius. "You know," he added, raising his voice slightly, "If anyone came in right now, seeing you two down there in your boxers would look really…wrong."

The two of them froze, then as Peter's words made impact they glanced down at themselves and sprang away from each other in disgust.

James scrambled madly to his feet, his hair a rumpled, sticking up mess. "Merlin Peter! That's just…ew." He tugged up his boxers slightly higher, glancing at Sirius and shuddering.

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "That's not what you said last night, James."

James gave him a long look, and very slowly started inching away. Remus bit back a snort of laughter.

"I meant it, though," Sirius's voice remarked later as all of them wriggled into their ordinary clothes, as it was a Sunday morning, with no classes.

"What, that James is good in bed?" Peter's voice this time, piping up from right next to Remus's bed.

There was a snort of laughter. "Not that! You know, when I was saying I was bored. I really meant it. Nothing ever _happens _round here any more."

Remus only listened with half an ear as he concentrated on not moving the bed around too much as he buttoned up his shirt, kneeling on the mattress. For a moment he sat still, gazing down at his abdomen and legs, flecked with long, raised scars. Slowly, he ran a finger down the ugliest of them, a large, taut, almost triangular piece of skin, the flesh marred a permanent white.

A bite-scar. And it wasn't one of his.

It had been the first of the many scars to come. The bite that cursed him.

He knelt there, lost in thought, finger tracing round it again and again. Slowly, he stretched his legs out, turning his calves this way and that. Every turn showed him more marked skin, more peachy flesh.

More memories of pain…

"Remus! You ready?"

Remus jumped about six inches in the air. Heart pounding, he covered his legs up with his robe but his curtain never moved. "Almost," he lied, and sprang into action, buttoning up his shirt and pulling on his trousers in what felt like no time at all.

"Hurry up, we've got a really good idea going!"

"What?" Remus played for time, buckling up his belt and pulling on his socks. Finally, he pulled a long sleeved grey sweater over his head, did a quick once-over check to make sure no part of his body was showing other than his head, and ripped back the curtains.

James grinned eagerly back at him. "Wait 'til you hear this, Remus, it's gonna be brilliant!"

Twenty minutes later the four of them were walking into the half-empty Great Hall, Remus still trying to keep down his enormous yawns. As they neared the Gryffindor table, he automatically made to sit in the middle as they always did, but this time James put out an arm to stop him.

"Not here, Remus. We're sitting up there today." He nodded his head up the end of the table where hardly anyone was sitting. Remus frowned.

"Why?"

"We'll tell you in a sec'."

They all sat down there, Peter and Sirius on one side with James and Remus facing them. James looked round excitedly, his eyes gleaming.

"Is everybody here?"

Without waiting for an answer he plunged on. "Right. It came to me in a dream, last night. It was the most beautiful dream I've ever had…" He tailed off dramatically, looking round at them impressively.

Sirius choked on his orange juice. "James! We don't want to know about your filthy dreams!"

James stuck his middle finger up at him. "Ha, ha, I'm in hysterics," he said sarcastically. He stared round at them once again, ignoring the muffled giggles from Peter and Sirius. "No, this dream was more than a dream. It was…"

"A nightmare?" Peter put in helpfully, glancing at Remus.

James whacked his palm to his head. "Ok, just forget about the dream alright? It was an idea Sirius gave me this morning."

"Thief," muttered Sirius.

James leant forwards, eyes shining so excitedly that they all leaned forwards too, curiosity piqued. "Imagine it," he whispered, "McGonagall. Unable to talk. Except for…" he lowered his voice even lower, making them all strain forwards slightly to hear him, "Pig-grunting noises."

There was a moment of stunned silence.

Then Sirius burst into a whoop of laughter. "_Excellent_!"

Peter looked worried. "But she's really strict!"

"So?" James beamed at him, infected by Sirius's laughter. "She won't know it's us! And she's new. She'll never find out!"

Amid their excited chatter and laughing, Remus sat carefully still, his heart pounding. He refused to look any of them in the eye. What James was planning was…well, illegal was too strong a word, but _against the rules_. If he took part in it, he would be defying the system. Breaking the Headmaster's trust for ever letting him into this school.

He couldn't do that. His heart pumped faster at the thought of Dumbledore's face, angry, disappointed, ordering him sent out of school. What if they were caught and thrown out? Bang would go his only chance at having an education.

But if he said so…what would _they _think of him?

"…have to look up the right charm to do it, though, there has to be a book in the library somewhere on that. We've done this sort of spell work before so it shouldn't be too hard…" James looked round at Remus. "Remus? You seen any books in there like that?"

Remus stared back at him, his mouth very dry. "I'm…not sure," he said weakly, playing nervously with his spoon. "Maybe."

James's eyes lingered on him for a moment. Then he turned back to the others. "It'll bring the house down!"

"Yeah, but we don't know if we can actually do it yet," Sirius spoke earnestly, gnawing thoughtfully on a fingernail. "How would we get the charm on her, for starters? It'd be pretty incriminating if we just stood up and pointed a wand at her face."

"That's if we even get hold of a spell," added James, frowning. "Yeah…"

They all fell into silence. Remus looked at all of them carefully, adrenaline pumping round his body. He knew what they could do. He knew exactly how this could be made a success.

But he mustn't tell them. He mustn't.

"I guess…if we sat right at the back of her class, waited for her to turn round, maybe?" Sirius, his eyebrows knitted together. Remus's heart beat faster. _No, that wouldn't work, she'd find out it was us…_

"No, someone would see us even if we sat at the back. Besides, she'd only keep the whole class in detention until someone admitted it."

"Fair point," sighed Sirius, looking round at Peter. "Got any ideas, Pete?"

_No, he doesn't, I can see it in his face…_Remus wriggled in his seat, clamping his mouth firmly closed. _Don't say _anything, _Remus…_

Peter licked his lips. "We could, er, plan a distraction," he said squeakily, shrugging and playing with a corner of the tablecloth. James sighed.

"A distraction's all well and good, but it wouldn't stop her from keeping the class, would it?"

Peter nodded furiously. "I know. Maybe we should give up on it…"

James frowned. "Wait a moment! Remus hasn't said anything yet." He turned to Remus. "Any thoughts?" His eyes were hopeful.

_Yes, I do!_

Remus licked his lips, trying to keep outwardly as calm as possible. As casually as he could, he shook his head, not meeting his eyes.

James's face fell.

"Ok. Well, I'll give it a think. But, if we can't figure it out, consider it cancelled." He picked up his toast and bit into it, staring blankly at the sugar bowl.

The first thing Remus felt was relief. Distinct relief.

Then he looked at Sirius's disappointed face and suddenly felt differently.

"W-wait," he said quietly, sitting up a little straighter to gain attention. "I think I have an idea."

They all looked back at him, eagerness written into each of their faces, even Peter's. Remus stared back at them, his heart thumping away a drum roll under his ribs, _bang bang bang. _He opened his mouth, licked his dry lips and began to speak.

_You'll get into trouble for this, you know. _

He tried to bury the voice, speaking louder as he gained more confidence. He couldn't bear to look at their faces. He didn't dare risk the staff table.

He chanced a look at them. They liked it. He could tell.

Guilt flooded through his veins. What, for Merlin's sake, was he doing?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Wow! I'm still in a state of shock at how many of you reviewed! Hope you liked this chapter guys. It took a long time to write this, so sorry for the long wait!

It seems we are all engaged in an all out Penguins vs. Marshmallows war. Come on people, cast your vote…penguins or marshmallows? Who wins? You decide!

Remus's second full moon coming up in a couple of chapters. Don't miss out, and remember, reviews inspire me!

Peace out

Mooncheese xx


	9. To Tickle a Dragon

"Oh _Lord, _Theresa, what have you done _now_?"

Face frozen in a clenched expression of utter disgust, Lily stepped backwards, observing (and nearly puking over) the soft red _gunk _squidged between her toes. Hopping on one foot, she made her way over to her bedside table, where she ripped half a dozen tissues from a box, and at the same time yelling, "SARA!"

A jaunty 'meeeow' was all that came in reply, and Lily looked up in time to see the white and ginger tail of Theresa the cat disappear through the door. She grimaced, closing her eyes as she threw the blood stained wad of tissues in the waste-paper basket with a thud, then gingerly peeled her toes apart to check her skin was now completely mouse-gut free.

"I swear," she mumbled, "That cat has to be the most violent creature I've ever come across." She felt her stomach heave as her eyes strayed to where the murdered ex-mouse lay with most of its internal organs hanging inside out. "She can't just kill them, no. She can't even just bring them back here in one piece. No, she has to _rip them up. _In the middle of the _floor._ Ugh." She shuddered, silently vowing to never own a cat for as long as she lived.

Satisfied her foot was clean, Lily stood up and walked across her empty dormitory, giving the 'mess' a wide berth. Well, why should she clean it up? It wasn't her cat that was the spawn of Satan, after all. Pulling on her shoes with a snort of contempt, Lily strode out the door, thoughtfully leaving it open to warn anyone of what they might tread in if they walked through _that _door any time soon. She passed Theresa on her way down the spiral stair-case, who gave a threatening hiss as she walked by.

"Fsssss! To you too," muttered Lily, glaring at the cat as she went down the next loop. Voices were coming up to her from the common room now. She paused for a moment, peering downwards with a small frown on her forehead. It was lunchtime. Everyone was _supposed _to be in the Great Hall. She herself had only come back to pick up her Transfiguration homework which she needed for next lesson. To find people standing around talking in hushed voices in the common room when it was lunch time…well. Curiosity peaked, Lily edged down several more steps, straining her ears.

"…ready as we'll ever be…"

"…the spell? Sure it's right? Well…"

Someone burst into loud laughter, making her start in surprise. "Pig-grunting noises! Oh, this has to be the best trick we've ever pulled..."

"Shut up!" Lily could just make out the top of someone's black haired head, bobbing in and out of her vision as the person supposedly danced in excitement. "Walls have ears and all that. Anyone could be listening…"

No matter how curious she felt at that moment, Lily felt a sudden twinge of guilt. _She_ was eavesdropping, no denying it. But she simply couldn't plug her ears against their excited voices, whoever they were. Hastily she dropped down on one knee, thinking she could simply pretend to be tying her shoe-lace if they chanced to look up.

"Come on, now's the perfect time. Lets go." There was a march of feet, some more boyish laughter, then a snap as the portrait closed. All was silent.

Lily let out a sigh of relief, then got to her feet and ran down the remainder of the stairs. After checking she still had her transfiguration homework, she too climbed out the portrait hole and made her way to lunch.

He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"I am not doing this," muttered Remus to himself as the four of them made their way into the Hall. "I can _not _be doing this."

"S'up, Remmy?" Sirius was grinning eagerly at him. "Ready to see your first ever prank pulled off?"

_No, I'm not. _

Remus felt his stomach lurch as he looked over at the staff table and spotted McGonagall talking serenely to Dumbledore. In half an hour, she would no longer to be able to talk. In half an hour, Professor McGonagall would be making alarmingly loud impressions of a pig.

So why, even though his stomach was riddled with nerves, did he feel so strangely…excited?

He had loved planning the prank. That was true. It had been enormously satisfying to know that their trick would have failed if it hadn't been for his idea. Then there had been the actual research, and trying out the spell on each of them to make sure it worked on everyone, and making the delightful discovery that if you combined one spell with another you could turn the volume up by 50. They had been kicked out and banned from the library after _that _incident, but it had been worth it.

He hadn't laughed so much since Sirius mixed up their Pig-sound spell with the jelly legs curse; causing James to wobble round the room with a deep scowl on his face until they had all stopped laughing enough to take the spell off him.

Pouring over details such as times and places over cakes in the kitchens had been great too. For the first time he was actually talking with them, not just sitting on the sidelines and listening.

But now…

James checked his watch as they all sat down, this time at the end of the table nearest the Professor's. "Twenty minutes," he muttered out the corner of his mouth, then began nonchalantly helping himself to some peas.

_Twenty minutes!_

"D'you remember the spell, Sirius?" James whispered under the pretext of reaching for the salt. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Of course I do. We only practised it half a billion times, James."

"Only checking." James absently sprinkled salt on his all but empty plate. He glanced at his watch again. "18 minutes."

"Deary me, where does the time go?" snorted Sirius, his voice dripping sarcasm. "A whole two minutes since you last looked at your watch, James!"

Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat, nibbling at his thumb. His eye-muscle was twitching, Remus noted with interest. So that meant he wasn't the only one who was nervous.

He looked over at James pushing his peas around his plate. _Definitely _not the only one.

Somehow, this was surprisingly reassuring.

Out the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of red.

"Remus!"

He looked round, wondering why that voice sounded so familiar, then smiled as he realised who was walking towards him. Lily Evans had her vivid hair free of any restraints today, letting it gleam even brighter as the sun shone in though the enchanted ceiling, explaining what the glimpse of red he had seen was.

She smiled back, then came right over to the empty seat beside him and sat down. The other boys stiffened, looking her up and down, recognising this intruder.

Lily took no notice.

"Remus," she said, "I've been looking for you. You know those essays we did together ages ago? Well, I think we got a little mixed up with the stationary. It only occurred to me yesterday that I didn't actually own an eagle-feather quill…" With that, she pulled from her bag a rather battered looking quill, which Remus instantly recognized as his own. He flushed a little, embarrassed at the pens general tatty-ness.

"I…didn't actually notice," he mumbled truthfully, accepting the quill. "I've been using my other one. I'm sorry. Did I take anything of yours?"

Lily sat still for a moment, thinking. Opposite her, James ran an impatient hand though his hair, then pointedly checked his watch.

"I _think _I might have left a pencil behind, but that doesn't really matter. I have heaps of pencils."

"Great," said James loudly, making her jump, "That's all very nice, Evans, but, no offence, can you go now?"

Lily didn't move. Her eyes were narrowed, and there was tiny frown on her face. She stared at James for a moment, then shook herself out of her reverie. Bidding them all a formal and slightly chilly goodbye, she slung her bag over her head then left without a word.

"Whee-_ow,_" said Sirius, doing his best angry-cat impression, "What was that all about? Did you see the way she looked at you?"

"Daft cow," snorted James, looking down at his plate, "Who does she think she is, barging in like that? We only have twelve minutes to go now."

And, from the disgruntled look on his face, it was clearly all Lily's fault.

Professor McGonagall sighed slightly to herself, turning away from Albus to heap a pile of runner beans onto her plate. As she arranged them carefully next to her carrots, she let her eyes run over the chattering students before her, and felt her heart soften slightly. It had been a weary day, that was for certain, but just seeing them all there, as she had once been, enjoying their dinner…well, call her an old softie, but it did make her smile.

"Albus," she said gently, turning back to the elder man, suddenly in the mood to be generous, "You know, even though I've only been teaching here five years now I still feel as though these students are the closest thing to a family as they could g-"

An enormous BANG echoed through the Great Hall, making the entire student population scream and simultaneously dive under their chairs. Minerva sat frozen in shock, then leapt to her feet in outrage.

"WHO DID THAT?" she tried to roar, but to her utmost surprise and hilarity of the children, all that came out was a loud, undignified snort.

She stood stock still for a moment, and then tried again. "What on earth?" A loud, rumbling series of _oink's _sounded like a shockwave throughout the Hall. Laughter began to mount, and in desperation she turned to the Headmaster.

"Albus!" she foolishly attempted to cry, which only resulted in such a spectacular _oink _that soon Albus himself had tears running down his cheeks. Minerva stood still, gripping her wand, utter confusion rioting inside her as everyone else wet themselves laughing.

_Come on, Minerva, no-one just starts imitating pigs in the middle of dinner. Think!_

Suspicion rose up inside her. Narrowing her eyes, she stared round at the students rolling around in their seats. No-one looked particularly incriminating…

_Ah-ha. _There. Potter and Black had just high-fived each other under her own nose.

Her nostrils flared. Now Pettigrew had joined in their celebrations, flinging one arm around Potter shoulders and…Lupin?

Lupin. She stared grimly at him. So he was the werewolf boy Albus had insisted on having. Funny, he had always been so quiet in class. Not that she didn't blame him…

Sweeping round, she stormed out the Great Hall, leaving the gales of laughter behind her. Already in her head the beginnings of revenge were starting to plan out…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Oooh! Only two reviews away until we hit the big 5-0! Wow, I suddenly feel so old. Thank you so much for getting me this far with all those lovely reviews. They make me feel happy. So keep 'em coming! They all encourage me so much.

Until next time, everyone

Mooncheese xxx

Ps: I've been added to a lot of people's author alert list. So why aren't you reviewing? Come on, I write, you read and give me feedback. That's the deal. Even if you don't like it. Even if it's only a word.

Love you all lots xxx


	10. Ignorance

Remus's stomach was churning.

Every time he thought about the coming night he broke out in a cold sweat. His heart seemed to have left his chest and was now pumping its way in a furious circuit round his head.

He looked down at his hands, clenching his knife and fork. They were white and shaking. He didn't know if he would be able to make it through today.

_Don't be so stupid, _he snarled to himself, gripping the cutlery harder, _Of course you can make it through today. You're not an invalid. Pull yourself together!_

On the other side of the table, Sirius was laughing, tousled hair falling about his face as he shook his head. Next to him, James chuckled along too, sniggering over a piece of toast. Their words and their laughter fell into a background buzz with Remus. He felt sick. He had to get out.

He breathed in, willing himself not to faint. He was being ridiculous. Completely over-reacting.

"Remus? Oh, Reeeemuuuuus," James's hand waved as though in slow motion in front of his eyes. "Earth to Remus. This is Mission Control. Do you read me?"

Remus looked round, forcing a sickly smile onto his face. James cocked his head to one side, looking at him.

"You were miles away, man. What was you thinking of?"

Remus stared at him for a moment, his mind slowly trying to make sense of James's words, before he finally realised what he had said.

"Nothing much," he muttered, turning away. James's bright, happy face was too painful to look at. The full volume of the Great Hall suddenly smashed over his head with the force of a sledge-hammer, and he winced. Why did everyone have to be so _loud? _

Clumsily he reached forward, groping for a knife. The salt-shaker fell over with a sharp _th-wack _on the table, but he barely paid it any notice. Just as his fingers finally touched upon the knife, he found himself fading away into yet another slipstream of thought, the background buzz of noise falling away…just falling away…

How would he get away tonight? James, Sirius and Peter would surely notice…no, of course they would notice! They weren't fools. He could try and put a memory charm on them…his mother had to do that once, to their next door neighbour…His mother's kind, weary face swam before his eyes. For a moment her face stayed frozen, a mere picture, but then her photographic eyes seemed to soften. They looked at him.

"_You don't put memory charms on your _friends, _Remus…Remus…"_

"Remus! Remus!"

He leapt up in his seat, startled. James was shaking him roughly by the arm, staring at him, wide hazel eyes panicked. For a moment Remus frowned, puzzled, but as someone's sharp, piercing voice rang out behind him, he soon discovered the source of James's anxiety.

"Up you get, Lupin. And you, Black. We are all going to visit the Headmaster _right now._"

He was hauled out of his place, then dragged half way across the Hall before he realised what was happening.

They had been caught.

0o0

Dumbledore's office was pretty classy, James thought to himself as they all filed in through the polished, oak door. Hidden way better than just behind some old painting…and with a revolving staircase thrown in too. The Gryffindor common room has nothing on this, he thought.

Pity he wasn't in the Gryffindor common room right now, though. If he was in there now, then he would be sitting on one of the over-stuffed armchairs, talking with the guys, laughing over the success of their prank. It would have been great.

He glanced round at the other three, standing grouped behind him. Peter was staring down at the carpet, chewing his nails, eye muscle going twitch, twitch. He looked up at James, and his face revealed fear. _Just don't say anything stupid, please, _thought James. He looked behind Peter, and met eyes with his other friend. Sirius was looking cool and collected, totally composed as though he did this every day. A single look was all it took, and the two boys had agreed. _Don't tell him anything. _

Remus was studying his shoes as hard as he could, his breath catching like needles in his throat. Black clouds were starting to creep in around his vision, his heartbeats so fast and furious they were choking him. Even in his currant, sluggish state of mind he knew very well what was happening them to them. Guilty snakes were writhing in his stomach, wriggling and clenching his heart in their unforgiving coils. Oh, what had he _done?_ It was all his fault, it was his idea, he should never have gone through with it…

As though pulled by wires, his eyes lifted and was met by the twinkling, sky-blue gaze of the Headmaster. He had trusted him. Dumbledore had _trusted _him, and now he would be taken out of the school, he knew it, could feel it coming.

Dumbledore was saying something, his voice an oceanic roar breaking over them. He wanted to cower on the floor, to sit down…nausea was creeping in over him…Sirius was saying something back…his loud words a cool wind…

James looked round at Sirius admiringly. He couldn't help it. In reply to Dumbledore's quiet question, Sirius had answered so flippantly even James was half-convinced. His dark eyes were over-the-top casual, not quite looking Dumbledore in the eye, but near enough, at his silver hairline. James held his breath. They might just get away with this…

Dumbledore waited in silence for Sirius to end his speech. Then he gazed quietly at each of them in turn. "Professor McGonagall," he said, his tone calm and deliberate, "Says she saw all four of you, ah, celebrating, shall we say? It seemed that not only did you find her situation amusing, but it also gave you great cause for triumph. Now why, I wonder, would that be?"

There was a beat of silence. "I don't remember celebrating, sir," said Sirius innocently, his fists clenching in panic, "Perhaps Professor McGonagall saw someone el -"

There was a loud thump behind them, and a gasp from Peter. James spun round, his eyes widening at the sight of Remus in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Merlin," he just heard Peter breathe, "He's fainted!"

From behind him, Dumbledore leapt to his feet with amazing agility for someone so old. In a flash he was kneeling beside Remus on the floor, and James, stunned, edged closer as well.

"Remus?" he whispered, reaching out to shake his friends shoulder, but Dumbledore stopped him.

"Remus will be fine, James. Now, could one of you please go and tell Madam Pomfry to expect a patient in her ward soon?" His tone was calm, but James caught the distinct edge of anxiety in his voice.

For a moment, all four of them simply stared at Remus, frozen with shock. Dumbledore looked round at them, frowning. "Sirius," he said, his eyes alighting on him, "Please go and alert Madam Pomfry that Remus Lupin will be coming to her very soon. Now." he added, when Sirius didn't move. Looking rather pale, Sirius gingerly stepped over Remus's limp form and headed out the door. James stayed where he was, staring at Remus's half-closed eyes. His mind was buzzing with shock.

"But…he was fine," he said, shaking his head, "He was fine this morning…a bit spaced out, yeah, but not really _ill_…"

"Do not worry, James. Although I'm no medic, I suspect Remus will be fine." Dumbledore was frowning into Remus's face, then turned round and looked up at a calendar on the wall, giving James time to look over Remus's face properly. He bit his lip. It was hard not to start worrying when your friend was lying so still, with such a pale face, barely breathing. Peter awkwardly shuffled closer, craning his neck over him.

"He was acting weird this morning," he announced, as Dumbledore withdrew his wand from his belt, "Remember, James? He kept staring off into space for ages."

"Yeah, I remember," mumbled James, watching as Dumbledore stood up, holding out his wand. "What are you going to do?" he asked the headmaster, "Levitate him there?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Fortunately I know a much quicker way of getting people from one place to another." With that, he moved his wand in a complicated spiral, muttered something under his breath, and flicked the wand.

James blinked. Remus was gone. Catching sight of his surprised expression, Dumbledore chuckled gently, but didn't explain further. "Both of you ought to be going to your lessons now," he said quietly, "Do not worry about Mr Lupin. I expect it is merely the humidity of my office that made him pass out so suddenly. That, and maybe, worrying about getting into trouble over something." His blue eyes twinkled as James jumped guiltily, then looked down at his feet. Dumbledore smiled, then ushered them to the door.

As they both trooped out, Dumbledore bent down to James's level. "And if I were you, James, I would be extra-obedient in Professor McGonagall's classes from now on. Just to be safe." He gave a small wink, and then shut the door. James stood staring for a moment, then dazedly followed Peter onto the staircase, deciding not to bother wondering how, or why. There was just no telling with Dumbledore.

Remus woke up to an all too familiar scene. His mouth tasted of orange, he was in a glaringly white bed, and he had an irate medi-witch standing over him.

"Well it's about time! I thought you'd wake up out of it yourself, but no, you just had to be troublesome." Madam Pomfry tutted loudly, shaking up her bottle of revival medicine before stowing it away out of sight. "How do you feel?" she queried, rubbing her hands down on her apron. Remus stared at her, then considered.

"Fine," he announced eventually. Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"Fine, he says! Fine, when you're as white as a sheet and you've been out cold for an hour. You boys!" she shook her head in disbelief, then trotted away in her flat, sensible shoes to fetch something from the other end of the ward. Biting his lip, Remus gingerly heaved himself upright. His limbs felt as heavy as lead. Grunting slightly, he pushed himself to his feet, then realised he was in pyjamas. Annoyed, he bent down to look for his clothes.

The world spun. Gasping, he put a hand on the bed to steady himself, just as Madam Pomfrey approached him, holding a clip-board. She looked stern. "And just where do you think you're going?" She snapped, pushing him back into bed, and Remus, suddenly too tired to protest, did what he was told.

"That's it. No more classes for you today, Mr Lupin. Your body's very fragile right now. Did you feel ill at all before you fainted?"

"What?" Remus sat bolt up-right. "I _fainted_?"

"You did. In the Headmaster's study. You gave your friends quite a fright. I had them all in here earlier, demanding to see you." She sniffed disapprovingly. Remus stared up at her, flutters of panic starting up in his stomach. He sank back into his pillow, letting Madam Pomfrey fuss over him. Inside, his stomach resembled a ball of clenched iron.

"What am I going to tell them?" he burst out suddenly, desperation overwhelming him. Madam Pomfrey halted, looking at him sympathetically. Remus looked away from her. He hated anyone feeling sympathetic for him.

"I'll make you a deal. You promise to come back to me the day before full moon every month, and I'll tell your friends you have a very bad flu virus. Is that agreed?"

Remus nodded, relaxing slightly at the thought of an excuse, yet at the same time feeling awful for needing to lie to them. Still, it was the only choice he had. It wasn't as though he could tell them the truth, for heavens sake.

He lay still, breathing shallowly. He was feeling weak and sickly, the way he always did before a full moon, yet at the same time his senses had heightened to alarming extents. He could smell Madam Pomfrey's scent of chemicals and soap lingering in the air where she had been moments before. He could hear her flicking through the pages of a book on the other end of the Hospital Wing. It made him want to clamp his hands over his ears and curl up in a ball; humans weren't meant to be able to hear, or smell things like that! It was unnatural!

Then again, when had he ever been natural?

Everything around him sounded as though he was in a long tunnel, echoing around his brain. He was feeling faint again, though he didn't know why. Footsteps were coming towards him, voices were ringing like bells in his ears…such familiar voices…

Remus snapped open his eyes. James, Sirius and Peter were all standing over him, staring down with concerned eyes.

"Remus," whispered Peter, as though he was addressing someone on their death-bed, "How d'you feel?"

Feeling exposed and oddly vulnerable, Remus stared back at them. He wished they would all look away. No, he wished they would all just go away! Why were they here?

"Remus?" James pulled a chair over and sat down, hands leaning on the bed, "Madam Pomfrey told us what happened. You have, erm, flu, right?"

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes dark. "Why didn't you tell us you were feeling ill, you daft git," he hissed angrily, "We would have taken you to the Hospital Wing!"

Still Remus couldn't speak. His heart was beating very fast, as he looked at them all, sitting there, by his bed. They could see him. They were looking at him, a creature about to be a slavering, howling wolf in twelve hours time.

Still they continued to speak to him as if he was ordinary, a regular human being with a flu virus.

James leant forwards, and Remus flinched away. He didn't seem to notice. "But guess what, Remus, thanks to you fainting, we all got away with it!" Seeing his blank look, James continued. "The prank! They were all so distracted with you they forgot all about _us_!"

"Well, apart from McGonagall," continued Sirius. He pulled a face. "Remember to keep out of her way, Remus. She's setting us three extra homework like there's no tomorrow."

"Two six foot essays!" wailed Peter suddenly, "And we didn't even do anything!"

"Well, apart from making her imitate pigs, of course," added James, grinning. He looked down at Remus. "When do you think you can get out of here, mate? Are you really sick?"

Remus drew a deep breath. "I'm not sure," he replied faintly, "Madam Pomfrey seems to think so."

"No, Madam Pomfrey knows so," came a sharp voice. The nurse came swooping into view, clutching a bottle. "It's time for you three to go," she told the other boys, her mouth a thin, stern line, "You've worn him out quite enough."

Remus looked at James. He didn't want them to go. But they were already standing up, hoisting bags over their shoulders, hastily getting out of Madam Pomfrey's eagle gaze. Sirius bent down and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "Hope you get better soon, mate," he said, winking at him. The irony of this statement was so strong it brought sudden tears to Remus's eyes, but he nodded and bid them goodbye in a normal voice as possible.

He would never be able to tell them, but suddenly he was over whelmed by a huge urge to tell Sirius that he would _never _be able to 'get better.' Biting down hard on his lip, he let Madam Pomfrey take his pulse and feel his forehead with her cool hands.

It was going to be a long day.

0o0

It was night time, and a cool breeze was whispering over James's hot face as he lay sideways on his bed, propped up by his elbow. His curtains were drawn all the way back, for once, and Sirius sat on the other end of his mattress. Peter was on the opposite bed, facing them, stuffing his face with sweets as usual. They had been up talking for a much longer time than usual, and they all knew why. Remus's empty bed sat in its usual place, duvet folded neatly down and the sheets pristine, yet they were devoid of any tawny haired boy. It didn't feel right to James. Remus was always there in his bed when they sat up talking at nights, not always joining in, but always solidly, comfortingly there. And now he wasn't.

And they didn't even have a real reason as to why he wasn't there.

Sirius stretched out his legs, toes poking James in the stomach. "Weird how he got sick, and none of us did. I mean, aren't these things supposed to be contagious? Have any of you been feeling, ahem," he adopted a falsetto-posh voice, "Under the weather?"

Peter slurped noisily on his jelly slugs, looking thoughtful. "Well," he said indistinctly, "I was sneezing a lot the other day in the dungeons, but I think that's cause sir was using all that unicorn horn powder." He took a slug out his mouth, examined it, then popped it back in to resume his loud sucking. Sirius snorted.

"That's hardly the same thing, is it? A sneeze and a faint, for crying out loud."

Peter shot him an injured look. "At least I'm trying to think of ideas! You're just being mean about them."

James twisted a corner of the duvet round his finger, staring off into the distance. Finally he heaved a huge sigh, then sat up straight. "Look, if Pomfrey says he has the flu then he has the flu. She's the healer."

At Peter's satisfied nod and Sirius's shrug, he added, "Come on, get off my bed Si. You're hogging all the room." Sirius stuck out his bottom lip.

"What you trying to say, James? Don't you want me here? Is that what it is? Well, you can just go away!" He sprang to his feet and marched across the room, waggling his hips. James closed his eyes against the hysterical giggles coming from Peter and pulled his duvet up over his face.

"And shut the window!" he mumbled as Sirius blew out the candles, shivering as the cool breeze blew stronger and colder.

"I'll do it!" offered Peter, leaping eagerly out of bed. James heard the floorboards creak as he walked across the room, then the soft whack of the window closing.

He opened his eyes. Peter was standing silhouetted against the glass, one hand on the window latch, gazing out at the grounds. "Hey, full moon," he said suddenly, craning his neck to look upwards. James looked as well. From where he was sitting, the moon looked a bright, silver coin in a jet black sea. "Big deal," he yawned, rolling over to bury his face in the pillow.

"Night," came Sirius's sleepy voice from the other side of the room.

"Night," mumbled James in reply, then closed his eyes.

Several kilometres away, under the protection of the Willow, Remus paced the shack, his wolfish face one long, terrible snarl.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hey there everyone. I've been away on holiday! Hope you all had a good Easter, or if you don't celebrate that, just a good holiday! I can't believe how many reviews I received! They seriously made me feel all…special and…happy and…stuff. Wow, I'm certainly being literate this evening….

So…you know what to do. Give me feedback! Was it good? Was it bad? Was it lacking that X factor? Then tell me! Just click on the review button and review!

Love and peace and Easter eggs and spring flowers to you all

Mooncheese xxx


	11. Suspicion

Remus ached all over. He moved gingerly up the corridor, walking slowly and awkwardly, trying to keep his face on neutral as he passed several other students. Not that he needed to bother, for all the notice they took of him. Anyway, it wasn't like he was in _pain, _not really. He was just a bit stiff from all the bandages and healing creams Madam Pomfrey had slapped on him, that was all.

She hadn't wanted to let him go from her Hospital Wing at all at first, but he had insisted by the time lunch time had come around. Even then she had given him a death glare as he walked out the door, which he had ignored.

He lingered in the corridor for a moment, thinking. It was lunchtime, and they usually ate in the Great Hall at lunch, but if Sirius or James didn't like the look of whatever there was in the Hall then they went to the Kitchens. For a moment Remus dithered, then decided to take his chances with the Great Hall. After all, it was only the odd occasion when James thought the food wasn't good enough, and he was nearer to the Hall anyway. Slowly, trying not to jar any of his cuts, Remus carried on up the corridor.

Finally, he made it to the Hall, and he slipped through the huge, oak doors, looking round at the solid, chattering mass of students. The place was packed. He couldn't see them anywhere.

"REMUS! DUDE! OVER HERE!"

Ah, now he could. Remus couldn't help but smile as Sirius and James starting doing rather good impressions of windmills in their enthusiasm to wave him over as he began to walk down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw table. James was beaming at him as he shoved Peter further up the bench in order to make room for him, and Remus obliged by sitting down and smiling slightly shyly at them all. They had all welcomed him so enthusiastically, like they'd actually _missed _him…

"Dude," said Sirius, leaning over the table top and fixing him with a solemn gaze, "You're back."

Warily, Remus smiled. "I know I am."

Sirius widened his eyes. "I mean, dude. You're _back._"

From beside him, James rolled his eyes, then started tipping drumsticks onto Remus's plate. "Ignore him. He's started calling everyone 'dude', for some reason, and now he just takes any opportunity to say it. He thinks it's cool." He eyeballed Sirius across the table, who stuck up his middle finger by way of reply.

"Dude, you make it sound like a bad thing," sighed Sirius, helping himself to some chicken. Then he looked up at Remus, chewing thoughtfully. "You all better now, then?"

Remus bit down hard on his drumstick and felt his teeth crunch. After rubbing his jaw, he managed a faint: "Uh-huh."

"Strange, really, how none of us got sick when you did. So was it the flu?"

Remus couldn't speak, his heartbeats were choking him. He tried to grin vaguely, but it was more of a grimace of pain. Thankfully Sirius didn't push the subject, though he didn't miss the look he shot James as he bent his head down to his plate again. Remus nervously tried to drink some water, but was so tense he ended up choking on it. Peter had to thump him on the back and nearly knocked him face first into his dinner, making James crack up in laughter. Remus, after a few seconds of trying to force his laughter fell silent. He simply couldn't laugh after what had happened to him.

For a while he sat, playing with his knife and fork and staring at the food. His friends empty chatter washed over him, and he didn't make any attempts to listen to it. He didn't know how he, Remus Lupin, could possibly have the nerve to sit with them after last night. He didn't know how he managed to look Sirius in the eye after he had spoken to him. He wasn't like them. How was he managing to act so naturally?

James nudged him. It was more of a dig in the ribs, but Remus pretended not to notice. "Remus, for gods sake, are you sure you're not ill? You look like you still belong in the Hospital Wing. You're as white as snow."

"Snow!" scoffed Sirius, through a mouthful of food and spraying toast crumbs everywhere, "He is not the colour of snow!" As Remus turned to thank him for sticking up for him, he added, "I'd say the colour of parchment, myself. Got that yellow-y look about him."

"Or porridge!" chipped in Peter, adding his two knuts as always. Remus stared incredulously from one to the other, frowning.

"When you've all stopped deciding exactly what colour my skin is!" he burst out heatedly, surprising himself. They all stared at him, eyebrows raised, even Peter, who was rarely shocked at anything.

"Dude," said Sirius bluntly, "What's your problem?"

Even coming from Sirius, who faintly reminded Remus of a tree-hugging hippy, the comment stung. Rising to his feet and mumbling something along the lines of 'going to finish homework,' he walked out the Hall and left them to it. As he strode back out the Hall doors ten minutes after he'd come in, he felt an inescapable emotion stirring up inside him. They hadn't tried to call him back, or followed him. He hadn't really expected them to, of course, but…Remus gave a desperate sniff, then a faint hiss and clamped a hand to his bandage-swathed stomach. It hurt enough without him straining his chest to sniff, for crying out loud.

He walked faster, ignoring the many twinges his cuts served him. He had to get away. He sped up going past a big group of Slytherins, who barely acknowledged his presence, but Remus did, for they included the white blond hair of Lucius Malfoy and the quick, calculating gaze of James and Sirius's arch foe: Severus Snape. Not that Remus was particularly frightened of them, but he didn't exactly welcome the idea of an attack that morning. Soon he had left them far behind, and he was on his own again, walking so fast he was nearly running, his muscles screaming in protest, but he didn't slow down, he had to get away, _get away…_

The library loomed up in front of him, and before he knew it he had pushed straight through the huge, wooden doors, then stood panting in the middle of the book shelves.

Silence poured in a heavenly waterfall all about him. Turning round, Remus couldn't see anyone at the homework tables, the window seats, or even behind the desk. It seemed even the librarian was having her lunch at this hour, and he was the only one in there. The place was deserted.

Feeling his heart lift up slightly, Remus walked forwards, allowing himself to limp on his bandaged leg. Going down one of the aisle's between the bookshelves, he ran his hand along the spines of the books, breathing in the familiar smell of parchment, ink and old leather. It was so silent he could hear himself breathing, the soft tred of his shoes. So quiet it was almost loud, the lack of noise reverberating around his head. The silence was pressing in on his ears, and he gently rapped his knuckles against the wood of the book shelf, simply to make a bit of noise.

He froze. Though the noise was faint, he could definitely hear the scratching of a quill on parchment somewhere in here…he padded softly forwards, following the sound, wondering who would possibly be here at this time other than himself.

The sound took him right to the back of the library, when suddenly Remus saw her, the bright red sheen of Lily Evans's hair. He halted in surprise, staring at her. She sat, curled up on a window seat, open bottle of ink balanced rather dangerously beside her, doing homework, presumably. The sun was shining through the huge window directly into her eyes, making her shield her vision with one hand. Remus stood in plain sight, waiting for her to see him but she never did. Frowning, Remus watched her, wondering why she didn't move when the sun was so obviously obstructing her eyes. He certainly would never be able to stand being in such a bright light.

Deciding to announce his presence he walked forwards, not bothering to disguise his footsteps yet she still didn't hear him. It was only when he was standing right beside her did she see him, and even then she jumped violently, sending the bottle of ink flying.

"Shit! Oh, god, Remus you frightened the hell out of me!"

"Sorry," mumbled Remus, aghast at frightening her. "Er – don't worry, I'll get some tissue to clean up…"

Lily gave him an odd look, still clutching her chest in shock. Then she shook her head and took out her wand, pointed it at the mess and muttered some incantation.

The ink vanished.

"Oh!" Remus stuttered, feeling more than slightly stupid, "I – I didn't know you could do that…" His words trailed off as Lily closed the book she'd been writing in and span round in her position to face him.

"I learnt that in first year," she told him, still with the odd look on her face, "I thought everyone knew it." Her voice was oddly jerky and cold. Remus felt puzzled, he stared at her with a tiny frown on his face, then took a small step backwards.

"Well, I – I better be going," he mumbled, though that was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn't want to go back to the Hall and face the accusing glares of the other boys, and he didn't know of any other places he could go. As he started to walk off, however, Lily called out to him.

"Were you spying on me?"

"What?" Remus whipped round, staring at her. Him? Spy? The idea was so ridiculous he nearly laughed. But one look at Lily's face told him that laughing would not go down well, so he merely shook his head, letting his bafflement show clearly on his face. "No. Of course not! Whatever made you think…?" Lily looked down, her face softening. She gave a tiny sigh of relief.

"I didn't really think it. I'm just being paranoid. I've just…Oh, I know it sounds stupid, but I've been having this really strange feeling recently that someone's been following me." She gave a slightly forced laugh. "Daft, isn't it?"

"Not really." Remus replied, studying her face closely. He'd been victim to spells of paranoia too, but that was only around full moon, and he highly doubted Lily had the same problems as he. Remus swallowed the sudden lump that came into his throat: no-one could ever have the problems he had. Offering her a weak smile, he turned to go, but she called out again.

"Oh no, don't go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so accusing!" Her face was genuine, and for a moment Remus hesitated. Then he thought of James's face and changed his mind.

"No. I mean, I'd like to stay, but I should really go and find James and that." His eye brows lifted as Lily's face immediately darkened at the mention of James's name, and swung her feet back onto the window seat.

"Ok." Her voice sounded oddly wooden, and she re-opened her book. "That's fine. See you later, Remus." She picked up her quill but didn't start writing, probably because she didn't have any ink left, Remus realised. Guilt writhed in the pit of his stomach.

"Bye," he said softly, inwardly vowing to buy her a new bottle as soon as he could. She nodded to him and took to staring out the window, one hand going up to shield her eyes from the sun, just as though she was looking for something. Quietly, Remus walked out, leaving her to it.

He walked along the corridor, shivering slightly and rubbing his arms. He felt cold. Briefly he wondered where the others could be, then decided they were probably waiting outside their next lesson. Which one was that? Remus stood still for a moment, thinking. Transfiguration? No, that was on Mondays and Thursdays. Charms? No, that was Fridays and Thursdays. Remus frowned, closing his eyes to help him think. Merlin, he just couldn't remember! Herbology? No, definitely not. Or was it –

Footsteps were padding quickly towards him, soft ones, but he could hear them nonetheless. His eyes flew open.

"Lupin, is it?"

Remus focused his eyes, his stomach twisting at that voice. He stared at the boy in front of him. He knew that face. Oh, he knew that face. But what should he do about it?

Good manners prompted him to reply. "Hello?" he mumbled inquiringly in the direction of the Severus Snape, the one James and Sirius hated with a vengeance, and vice-versa. Yet here he was, about to embark on a civil conversation with him, unless he was very much mistaken.

Snape sneered, greasy black fronds of hair falling about his face. "Might I ask why you are standing with your eyes closed in the middle of a corridor?"

Remus blinked at him. "I – I was trying to think of my next lesson," he muttered, feeling a dull red colour his cheeks. If it had been Sirius, or even Peter he had been saying it to he wouldn't have given this statement a second thought, yet under Snape's leering black eyes the words seemed to hang stupidly in the air. Awkwardly, he shuffled from one foot to the other, wishing for once he could be as forward as Sirius and simply tell him to go away.

Snape's cold eyes seemed to flash. "You shouldn't stand with your guard down in such plain sight. Anyone could attack you."

Remus frowned at him, so stunned he forgot to be nervous. "Who would possibly attack me in Hogwarts?" he asked, digging his fingernails into his palm behind his back. Snape leered at him.

"I am merely giving you advice. Is that not allowed?"

"No, of course not," mumbled Remus, trying desperately to maintain eye contact with Snape's steady, malevolent gaze. His fingernails bit harder into his palm. What on earth was happening? He had thought Severus Snape wouldn't give him the time of day, and yet now he was standing here giving him _advice_?

Ten seconds later, he knew why.

"You weren't in lessons today," said Snape, his eyes two narrowed, calculating slits, "I noticed earlier. Why was that?"

Remus's stomach gave such a violent lurch he thought for a moment he was going to be sick. Clenching his hands together in a death grip, he tried to answer in an as natural tone as possible, "I was in the Hospital Wing. I was unwell." _Now please go away, _he begged silently. He wanted more than ever to just push the cunning Slytherin away from him, or to just retort: "None of your business!" but the words wouldn't even start to form in his mouth. His feet stayed rooted to the floor. His expression maintained one of forced polite.

Snape's face took on an odd expression, and in tones of remarkable casualness he suddenly asked, "I wonder…you're friends with Potter, are you not?"

It took a moment to register who he meant. "James?" Remus said suspiciously, raising his eyebrows at Snape, "What about him?"

"Nothing particularly, merely a point of interest. I was just wondering…would you know anything of the connection between him and the unfortunate trick played on Professor McGonagall several days ago?"

All at once, Remus figured it out. Snape was trying to pump him for information about James. Heart rising in relief, he started to answer, but a deafening shout of: "OI!" rang down the corridor. Remus didn't need to look to know who was coming towards them, and he couldn't have welcomed the sight more than he ever did then.

Snape flinched as though he had been stung, and after taking just one look up the corridor turned abruptly and started walking swiftly away. Five seconds later James caught Remus by the arm, skidding to a halt and glaring at Snape's back.

"What the bloody hell were you doing with _him_?" he growled, just as Sirius and Peter caught up with them, "You know he's a Slytherin!"

Sirius, with an identical look of disgust on his face yelled after Snape. "Why are you running away, _Snivellus_? Do we frighten you?"

Snape didn't even stop to reply, and the last they saw of him was his robes whipping round the corner. Looking slightly grim, James turned back to face Remus. "What was he saying to you?"

"Just stuff about the trick we pulled on McGonagall," mumbled Remus, "I think he suspects we did it."

Sirius snorted, tossing his hair out his eyes. "So he was trying to make you confess, was he? What an utter prat." For a moment they were all silent, staring at the place where Snape had disappeared. James was the first to break the quiet.

"C'mon guys," he said, starting to stride away, "Let's go to Potions."

His words brought back Remus's memory, and he silently cursed for not remembering that he had Potions next in the first place.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ta – Naaa! It's me! C'est moi! Did you miss me? Thank you to all those of you who reviewed my one shot 'Aged Seven and a Half.' If you haven't read that go read it now!

Right, I'm off now. Let's see…I have 64 reviews now! Yay! You all deserve a great big shiny gold cupcake for getting me this far. (Throws them out to the crowd)

Go on…review again. You know you want to ;)

Love and peace

Mooncheese xxx


	12. Scars

By the time they clattered into the dark dungeons, they were five minutes late and had a very annoyed Professor to reckon with.

"Detention Potter, Pettigrew, Black, Lupin," said Professor Bones sleekly as they each sped through the doorway one after the other. "And please refrain from being late again. I would actually like to spend my after-school hours to myself for once in a while. And no, Mr Black, that does not mean I will stop giving out detentions. Now sit down, all of you."

Remus felt his face heat up slightly as a ripple of laughter swept round the classroom, though he knew it wasn't aimed at him. Sirius, on the other hand, simply winked and muttered audibly: "Darn. Thought I had her there," before flopping casually into his usual seat with James, leaving Remus to sit behind with Peter.

Professor Bones strode to the front, long black robes flaring dramatically out behind her. Remus slid down in his seat, holding his breath as he put his bag on the floor as quietly as possible. Certainly Bones was a fairer teacher than some, but she had the temperance of a crocodile. Just as you thought you were safe around her, she would suddenly pounce.

The class was silent as Professor Bones perched on the edge of her desk, frowning down at a sheaf of parchment in her hand, seeming surprisingly mellow after receiving four late students. Remus watched Sirius lean over and mutter something to James, and the pair of them immediately doubled up in barely silent laughter.

"That's two hours for you tonight now, Messer's Black and Potter," called out Bones without even looking up. Sirius stiffened, head looking up. Remus could just picture his face of mock-outrage.

"But Professor! We didn't do anything!"

Bones looked up from over the top of her glasses and fixed him with a long, steady look. Sirius visibly shrank in his seat, mumbling inaudibly to himself. Satisfied, Bones stood up to address the class.

"Alright, listen up class. After several recent mishaps in this classroom, I have finally decided to do something about it. I have here a seating plan." She waved the parchment, dark curls falling about her shoulders as she did so. At the blank looks from a few of the students, she sighed and explained, "That means you're all going to sit where I tell you to. No arguments."

No-one could have argued even if they'd wanted to, Remus thought, looking round at all the shell-shocked faces about him. Peter was looking particularly terrified. He depended on his friends to get him through this class. Now what would he do with himself?

Remus himself had to admit he didn't look forward to sitting with the likes of Lucius Malfoy, but what could you do when Professor's like Bones told you what to do?

You jumped to it and obeyed them, that was what.

Dark mutters were starting to fill up the classroom, and someone called out: "But Professor, _why_?" Bones frowned, placing one hand on her hip and shooting the entire class a freezing glare. The conversation died at once.

Bones looked round at them. "Do none of you remember the time a Filbusters Firework exploded in someone's potion? Someone's idea of a joke, I'd expect. That was dangerous. And the time a potion exploded because the maker was too busy chatting with their friends to concentrate on what they put in their cauldron?"

A ringing silence was all that replied to her. Bones glared at them. "Well? Do you remember that or don't you?" There was a dull murmur of affirmative. Nodding crisply, she carried on.

"What I'm trying to say is you seem to be treating this lesson as some kind of social event. This place is for learning, not talking with your friends or playing practical jokes! I don't care what you do in other lessons, because this one is mine, and I don't need any of you getting hurt." Again, she waved the parchment. "At least this way none of you will get distracted."

Everyone stared at her. Remus felt his heart begin to thud. Merlin, who would he be put with? Stealing a glance at the people around him, he sussed out the options. Lucius Malfoy would be the worst, he supposed, but then there were any number of Slytherin's he didn't want to be anywhere near either.

Bones, taking the stunned silence as acceptance for her plan, stood up a little straighter. "Now that's covered, would you all stand along the back wall in a line, please? Thank you."

Slowly, dully, stools were scraped back as ashen faced students began to trudge wearily to the back wall. Peter was positively shaking as he walked with Remus in between the cauldrons. "I'm going to be put with someone horrible, I know it!" he whispered frantically. "What am I going to do, Remus?"

"Do shut up and take it like a man, Pete," came James's voice from behind them. "Jees, anyone would think you're being sent to the gallows the way you're going on." The extra dose of brusqueness in his voice gave him away. Remus knew without looking that James was certainly not overly-happy about being moved either.

When they had all organised themselves into a rough line against the back wall, Bones walked to the furthermost cauldron. "When I call out your names, come and sit at your new cauldron. Alright? I'll begin." Briefly she shuffled her papers, then started reading out the first set of names, walking along the rows as she did it.

"McKinnon, Finnigan, Malfoy, Black!"

"I'll miss you, James!" muttered Sirius, wiping away a fake tear as he and three other students detached themselves to sit in the front row. Bones moved down the classroom, looking down her paper as she did.

"Longbottom, Prewett, Crabbe and Pettigrew!"

Peter gave a tiny squeak as though someone had trodden on him. Eyes wide and petrified he moved forwards as though in a trance. From behind Remus, James gave a soft chuckle.

"Just me and you now, mate."

"Not for long," Remus whispered back, as Bones finished reading out another row of names, and four more people moved away from the crowd, letting them space out more.

"Potter, Evans, Mackay, Lupin!"

Remus felt his heart give a funny kind of twist inside him. He was in the same row as James. Trying to walk confidently, he moved forwards to his indicated place, and out the corner of his eye glimpsed red hair. Twisting his head round he spotted Lily, who gave him a faint smile as she sat down as well. Exhaling a sigh of relief, Remus slumped down in his new position. That could have been a lot worse.

Bones read out the last line of students ("Goyle, Parkinson, Snape, Lovegood!") then returned to her place at the front. Ignoring the disgruntled looks many of the class were giving her she smiled blithely and produced her wand. "With that out the way, we shall start the lesson." With a wave of her wand instructions appeared on the board. "Today we are going to be making the Hair Lengthening potion…"

As she started introducing the many fascinating properties of the ingredients, Remus glanced cautiously at the person seated at the cauldron beside him. Unfortunately, at the exact same time the person by him decided to sneak a look at _him_ as well.

Their eyes met and both quickly looked away, blushing furiously. Remus had just looked long enough to take in a girl with dark blonde hair, before zooming his eyes hastily back to the front, his cheeks hot.

Ten minutes later they were all working in silence, save for the occasional grating snap as someone cut through their unicorn horn. Bones had been right about swapping their seating plan around, no-one was making a sound. It was so strange compared to the usual quiet chatter Remus was used to in Potions, but oddly peaceful. He stirred round his potion, savouring the silence, and relishing in the fact he no longer had Peter breathing down his neck, copying his every move. He could even relax like this, concentrating entirely on his work.

Raising his eyes, Remus looked around. Everyone was bent over their cauldrons, studiously ignoring their neighbours. Bracing himself, he swivelled his eyes over to the girl beside him again, wondering if he would catch her looking again.

She wasn't. She seemed totally absorbed in her potion, lips moving as though she was talking to herself, a tiny frown etched onto her brow as she carefully measured out ground up beetle eyes. Perfect. Remus could look at her without fear of her seeing him.

He had seen her somewhere before, that was certain. She must be a Gryffindor. Under the pretext of holding up a bottle of armadillo bile, Remus looked over her face. Underneath long, loose waves of honey brown hair (or dark blonde, if you looked at it that way) was a round, friendly looking face with large, expressive eyes. They were particularly wide now as she looked over at the board, muttered something to herself and carried on with the potion.

Remus looked back into his own cauldron, then back up at the board. He added the beetle eyes. Then he snuck another look at her.

She was stirring the potion now, arms working rapidly as she did so. Her eyes shone in the dull light of the dungeon, narrowed in fierce concentration. Remus shook his head slightly, reminding himself he had a potion to be done here, but somehow his eyes just kept going back over to her as though pulled by string. Who _was _she? He racked his mind for a name. He was sure Sirius had mentioned her before, ages ago, back in the common room. But he couldn't for the life of him remember.

He would think about it later, he decided, returning very firmly back to his potion. He would ask Sirius about it. Later. Now, he had work to do.

Still, he couldn't quite shake the image of her looking at him out of his mind.

0o0

"Yes, sir! How can I help you?"

Peter, temporarily stunned at being addressed as 'sir,' blinked at the pretty bar-tender for a moment, then carefully stuttered out a reply. "F-four butterbears, please," he squeaked, eyes glancing nervously at Remus for support.

"Certainly, sir!"

As Madam Rosmerta clip-clopped her way up in the bar in search of butterbears, Sirius muttered into James's ear: "Who is _she_?"

"Madam Rosmerta," Remus heard James murmur back, "New bar staff, I reckon."

Sirius had his eyes fixed on Madam Rosmerta as she stretched up to find their drinks, low cut top rising to expose flat-as-a-pancake stomach. "Uh-huh," he mumbled weakly, watching as she stepped her merry way back towards them, dark hair bouncing.

And that certainly wasn't the only part of her that was bouncing, Remus noted mildly, watching as Peter joining Sirius in his staring. He curled his lip slightly and looked away, only looking back when Rosmerta had dumped their bottles on the counter and chirped out, "That'll be two galleons, please!"

"Cheers, love," said Sirius cheekily, stretching over to claim his bottle as Peter started fumbling in his pockets for the coins, "By the way, I was wondering, how old are you?"

Remus stared at Sirius, taken aback by his bluntness and the suggestive lift and drop of his eyebrows as he asked his question. The moment was ruined, however, as Peter swore loudly and dropped a dozen coins all over the floor, which immediately rolled everywhere.

James and Remus looked down in surprise, then bent down to help. Sirius remained standing, and Remus came up again just in time to hear her say, "Too old for you, that's for certain. Next!"

"Ah, bad luck Sirius," sighed James sarcastically as they all moved away, "Better luck next time you try it on with a twenty year old, eh?"

Sirius punched him in the arm. "She was not twenty! More like eighteen. Fresh out of Hogwarts, I reckon."

"Oh yeah, and that makes loads of difference doesn't it? Face it, no-one of that age is ever going to say yes to your ugly mug."

Sirius tossed his hair in a mock impression of a glamour model, fluttering his eyelashes at James. "What are you trying to say, James? Don't you…love me?" He licked his lips. James attempted to glare back, but only ended up bursting out laughing.

Peter was standing on tip-toes, ignoring the friendly exchange between the two boys. "Hey, I think there's a table over there!" He said excitedly, pointing towards a gap in the throng of students, "Quick!"

Running as fast as the milling crowds of people would let them, the four boys darted over to the table, making it there before anyone else spotted it. "Nice one, Pete," said Sirius breezily, leaning on the table. Almost a once, however, he leapt back with a load: "Urugh!"

"What's wrong?" Remus asked curiously, staring at Sirius rubbing his arms and looking completely disgusted.

"I just found out why no-one was sitting at this table," he replied, pulling a face, "Feel it!"

Puzzled, the other three boys stretched out a hand to cautiously touch the surface of the table.

Peter spoke up first. "Sticky…" he mumbled, rubbing his fingers together, frowning.

"Great!" sighed James, gingerly feeling more of the table with his palm, "Someone's spilled pumpkin juice all over it. Gits," he added idly, leaning back. Sirius started picking at his robe sleeve.

"I've got bits of dried pumpkin juice all over me. Great."

"Ah, just don't put your arms on the table," replied James, leaning back with a sigh, "No point in looking for somewhere else now."

Remus agreed with him. The place was so packed they were lucky to even have this table, and with a nod at James he unscrewed his bottle cap and took an experimental sip. He smiled. Butterbear certainly hadn't changed since the last time he had tried it, and that had been when he was eight, as a birthday treat, if he remembered rightly enough. Feeling warm and contented, Remus settled back even more into his chair, lazily listening to the conversation. From somewhere on the other side of the bar, a toddler started screaming, making half the pub glance round in annoyance.

"Merlin, I hate it when little kids start yelling like that!" James remarked, wincing as the baby's cries went up an octave, "I'm never having kids."

Sirius took a gulp of butterbear, glancing casually over his shoulder at the baby. "I'm used to it," he commented dryly, "I grew up with Regulus, remember?"

"Who?" Remus asked curiously. He had never heard of a Regulus before.

"My little brother," replied Sirius nonchalantly, "He'll be coming to Hogwarts in two years time." His voice sounded oddly strained, as though they had hit on a nerve. Clearing his throat, he continued in a voice that was slightly higher than usual. "He used to scream constantly. 'I want this! I want that!' In the end I just learned to block it out."

James shuddered, pulling a face. "Now its stories like that that makes me glad I'm an only child."

"I wish I was an only child!" piped up Peter suddenly, with such venom that they all looked at him in surprise, "I have to wake up every morning to _my _twin brothers crying the house down. They can never shut up!" He accompanied the end of this statement with a slap of his leg, looking daggers over at the toddler. Then he looked at the rest of them, staring at him with their mouths open. "What?"

Peter turned slightly pink; his posture, which had been ram-rod straight in his moment of temper slouched back down again, and he was blinking at them with watery eyes. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Clearly deciding it was simply better not to question it, James swallowed another mouthful of butterbear, and Remus felt his eyes on him. "What about you Remus?" he asked, and at this question, Sirius and Peter looked round too, staring curiously at Remus.

"What about me?" asked Remus jokingly, though his heart was starting to speed up slightly. Sirius snorted impatiently.

"Are you an only child like Jamsie here, or are you haunted by younger siblings like me and Pete?" He looked fairly curious, and no wonder. Remus had never really opened up about his home life.

An image of Rain swam into his head. "Yeah. I mean, I do. Have a little sister, that is." Remus played with a corner of his sleeve, uncomfortably aware of them all staring intently at him. "She's ten."

"Ten? Then she's coming to Hogwarts next year, then?"

"I'm not sure…I think so…" Remus coughed, trying to look as casual as possible, but his prolonged silences were building up quite a tension over the table. The air felt uncomfortably hot, and Remus nervously pulled up his sleeve to scratch his elbow, wishing he could get away.

A second later, he realised what he had done.

"Holy _shit_! Where the hell did you get that _scar_?" James was staring down at his arm, a look of mixed awe and horror on his face, and Remus felt his stomach give a huge, electrifying jolt. Too late, he ripped back down his sleeve, but already Sirius and Remus were looking over, frowning at his arm.

Gripping his robe sleeve with violently shaking fingers, Remus felt his heart lurch in frantic, pounding bursts. The other boys were staring at him, their eyes dark and hollow, blatant curiosity blaring out of them. "Was that a scar, Remus? How did you get it, Remus? What's wrong, Remus? How come you have a scar, Remus?"

Remus felt as though he was going to be sick. He had never been so frightened in his life. "It's nothing!" he barked out, knowing full well he was acting suspiciously, yet he simply couldn't stop himself. "It's just some old scar I got when I was little. Quit making a fuss!" Next to him, Sirius's arm leant against his, trapping him against the wall, caging him in.

James shook his head, eyebrows furrowed together. "Remus, that was not some 'old scar.' It was huge!"

"James," said Sirius quietly, "Drop it."

"But there's no reason for you to get defensive, Remus! You just have a scar, and I was just wondering - "

"James!" snapped Sirius, his tone more forceful, "I said just _drop it_."

James fell silent, staring, perplexed, at his best friend. Sirius shook his head very slightly, and mouthed something which Remus didn't catch. He didn't care, either. All he knew was that he had to talk his way out of this situation. Now.

"When I was younger," he spoke carefully, trying to stop his voice from shaking, "I tripped over and fell on some broken glass. And I really hate the scar, so I try to hide it. It's not a big deal."

They all looked at him in silence. Remus's heart was thumping, _please let them believe me, just let them believe me, please…_

Sirius cleared his throat. "Okay, mate," he said, his tone unnaturally sincere and almost gentle, "You know, I used to have a horrendous scar when I was about eight, but my dear mother vanished it away. I was pretty disappointed, because I used to think scars were so cool, and…"

He was changing the subject for him, Remus realised suddenly. Now they were talking again, albeit with a little strain, and Peter was still staring, agog, at his arm, but no-one said another word on the subject. He had never tasted relief like it. And he sincerely hoped he would never have to again.

Yet he knew, with the guilty lies he was spinning in his intricate web, that there would be far too many more of incidents like these to come.

And when those incidents had happened far too many times for no-one to ever believe him any more?

Well. He just didn't want to think about it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hey there, everybody. I've just finished a load of exams! I'm so happy I could cry! They only lasted a week, but it still feels like a month. There's your reason for me not updating as quickly as I usually do.

But I still found time to write this! Yes! Be happy for me, people!

Love and peace to all of you, and don't forget to review!

Mooncheese xxx

_The-Hug-the-Remus Trust_

_Helping all forgotten werewolves out there who need a hug_

_Please give generously! _


	13. Suprises

"Hail! To the James Potter, James Potter, James Potter, Hail! To the James Potter, James Potter…MAN!"

James finished up the end of his song with a pirouette, landing on one knee and spreading his arms out to Peter, who threw him a very startled look and carefully started inching away. Hardly noticing this he sprang back to his feet, black hair ruffled to new extremes, and eyes sparkling wickedly behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Remus and Sirius exchanged bemused looks.

"All hail!" barked James, straightening his back and holding himself in an imaginary army-officer pose. "All hail to the mighty Sir James Potter, Lord of Seduction!"

There was a beat of silence. Sirius's eyebrows were raised so high his face looked distorted. James gazed round expectantly at them all.

"Well? Aren't you going to ask what?" he demanded, beginning to jig from one foot to the other, a huge demented grin on his face.

"You never asked us to ask what," observed Remus quietly, inwardly smiling as the look on James's face turned to pure frustration. Peter, always one to please, obediently said, "What is it, James?"

The grin was back. After laughing and mussing up his hair with one hand, James finally said, in a decidedly feminine way: "Guess!"

They all stared at him.

"Ok. First you get grouchy 'cause we don't ask why you're doing an impression of an ape with _fleas - _" James stopped his jigging. " – and then you want us to _guess?_"

"Well…yeah," grinned James, causing Sirius to sigh dramatically and fall backwards onto his bed, rolling over and burying his face in the pillows. "Everyone hide," came his distinctly muffled voice, "James has officially lost it."

"Ha –dee – ha ha," said James sarcastically, though his face lost none of its happiness, "Come on, seriously guys, listen! This is brilliant!"

"Just tell us already!" said Peter, becoming impatient, "I don't want to guess!"

For a moment James looked as though he was holding his breath, taking them all in with animated eyes. He looked as though he was going to burst.

"Gentlemen, you are looking at the one and only boyfriend of Vicki Sumner!"

For a moment all was silent. Then -

"You're WHAT?" yelped Sirius, ripping his head out from under the pillow so fast it flew across the room and hit Remus in the face. He barely noticed. All of them were staring at James, whose hyper smile had become distinctly self satisfied.

"You heard," he said smugly, casually strolling over to his chest of drawers and idly playing with a comb on top of it. Sirius gaped at him.

"Did you honestly just say you're going out with _Vicki Sumner_?"

"What? Oh, that." James lay back on his bed, folding his hands behind his head and gazing up at the bed canopy, "Yeah, we're going out." Then, unable to resist himself, he added, "She was practically tripping over herself when I mentioned a stroll around the lake, y'know. Nothing serious." He snuck a look at Sirius to see how this was going down. Remus glanced round at him too, then bit back a laugh. Sirius's jaw was hitting the floor. For a second he seemed lost for words.

"You – You…You're going out with Sumner?"

"Uh huh," replied James, now inspecting his fingernails.

"You asked her out?"

"Yep."

"She's your girlfriend?"

"That's right."

"I don't believe it!" Sirius was staring at James. "You old bastard! What the hell does she see in you?"

"Oh, let me see, my rugged good looks, my dazzling intellect…" James trailed off, then bit his lip. "To be honest, no idea. She just came over and started talking to me, and at first I was kind of 'Whoa! Why are you talking to _me_?' and then I just kind of thought…"

James broke off as though he suddenly realised what he was saying. Remus saw him cast an uncomfortable look at him and Peter, then sit up suddenly. "But whatever. I'm meeting up with her by the lake in…" he glanced at his watch, "Ten minutes time."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "So why are you still here?"

James frowned. "Huh? I still have ten minutes."

"Yeah, you still have ten minutes. If you intend to get to the lake by flinging yourself out the window, that is. Get a brain, James."

For a moment, James simply stared at him. Then, with a panicked: "Shit!" he pushed himself up out of bed, stumbled over his school bag, dragged the comb through his hair (it made no difference) and legged it as fast as he could, slamming the door behind him.

As the bang of the dormitory door was still resonating around them, Remus and Sirius glanced at each other, then both looked at Peter's wide eyes.

"Wow! Vicki Sumner!" Peter wrung his hands in a mix of awe and disbelief, "Isn't she that really pretty one from Ravenclaw? Why is she going out with _James_?"

Remus shrugged, though he wasn't really certain of who Vicki Sumner actually was. He'd heard her name a few times, at least, enough times to give him the impression that she was extremely popular, but he couldn't put a face to her name. Sirius, on the other hand, judging from the way he was staring at James's bed with a very disgruntled look on his face, certainly could.

"How did he do it?" he burst out at last, still not taking his eyes off James's pillow, "How did he manage to pull the fittest bird in our year? He hasn't even gone out with anyone before!"

"I mean," he continued, getting up and starting to pace, "Not that I care particularly. But, I mean, no offence to James, but no girl's ever looked twice at him before! Why would _Vicki Sumner _of all people be interested in him?"

"Why not?" asked Remus. He frowned, studying Sirius's expression intently. Why was he acting like James was the ugliest man in the world, all of a sudden?

"Why not? What d'you mean, 'why not'?"

"Well," said Remus, watching as Sirius turned to the mirror and started running his hands through his hair, "Why wouldn't Sumner go out with James? It's just a date. If that. I mean, all they're doing is strolling round the lake."

Sirius held up a chunk of his hair, before letting it drop. "Yeah. Right. D'you think my hair's too long?"

"_What?_"

"I said, d'you reckon my hair's getting too long? It is, isn't it? I might have a haircut."

Remus stared at Sirius, trying to imagine him with short hair. "Um…"

Sirius swept back his dark mop of hair, frowning at the mirror. Then he spun round and without another word strode out the door, banging it behind him.

Remus and Peter looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Er...?" mumbled Peter, looking completely baffled.

"_Exactly_," agreed Remus, wondering just how much more confusion he could take.

0o0o0

It was only when she was half – way back to the Gryffindor common room when Lily realised her necklace was missing from round her neck.

"Bugger!" she swore loudly, fingers feeling round the bare skin of her neck, "Oh, bugger, bugger!" Whirling round, she scanned the floor, but no glinting silver chain came into her vision. It was gone.

She clenched her hair in panic, heart pounding. There was no way she could lose that necklace. Absolutely no way.

"What's the matter?" her friend, Hannah, seemed to have only just noticed she had stopped, and was now standing there, gazing at her stricken face, twirling a lock of hair idly around her finger.

"I've lost my necklace!"

"Oh…" Hannah's eyes darted to Lily's bare neck, then glanced at the floor behind her. "Well, it's gone now."

"Hannah, I have to find it! My _Dad _gave me that!"

Hannah shrugged, widening her eyes. "So ask him to buy you a new one."

Glaring at her, Lily replied in a voice of stone, "My Dad's dead." Putting up a hand, she shook her head and walked away from Hannah's shocked face in disgust, sweeping her eyes along the floor, along the sides of the walls, though she was shaking in anger. How could anyone be so _stupid, _she snarled to herself, leaning back against the wall the minute she was out of sight, while her head swam and clouded with rage, how could she be so _tactless. _Why on earth were she friends with people like that?

Swallowing the urge to hit the wall behind her, Lily glanced at her watch. Six o'clock. That meant curfew would end in an hour, and she had to find it before then.

Sighing deeply at the enormity of the task ahead of her, Lily carried on with her slow walking, eyes trained on the floor.

And walked straight into someone.

"Ow!" two voices yelped simultaneously, and Lily hastily took a step backwards, clutching her chest in shock.

"Watch where you're going!" she started to say, but the other voice cut over her before she could get the words out.

"Well, well, well, Evans, isn't it?"

She looked up at that, and the messy haired outline of James Potter looked back at her. "Potter," she acknowledged coldly, and made to side-step him, but he put an arm out to stop her.

"Not so fast, little Evans. What are you doing out at this time?"

"I might ask you the same question," Lily shot back through gritted teeth, before reaching out and attempting to push the arm away from in front of her face. When it didn't move, she dug her nails in.

"Aragh!" Potter jumped back like he had been stung, cradling his arm against his chest. "What was that for?"

"You was in my way," Lily retorted over her shoulder, for she had continued on walking now her path was clear, eyes back to the floor. Much to her displeasure, however, she could hear Potter's footsteps again, and they most certainly weren't getting fainter.

"What do you _want_!" she burst out as Potter fell into step beside her, "Don't you have something better to do?"

The question seemed to stop him in his tracks. "Why yes, now you mention it." He grinned smugly and ruffled up his hair. Lily eyed him in distaste.

"Well, quit bothering me and go do it then!"

He looked at her in silence for a moment, eyes dark behind his wire-rimmed glasses. For just a second his eyes flickered hesitantly up the corridor ahead of them, then he grinned. "I have to walk this way."

Lily stared at him in disbelief. "You do not! You were going the opposite way a second ago!"

"Oh," Potter looked at the ceiling, "Was I?"

"_Yes._"

Staring at him incredulously, Lily wondered how anyone could possibly be so annoying and stupid and yet walk and talk at the same time. It occurred to her that she was wasting time standing here having a pointless conversation when she needed to be looking for her necklace, and turned and walked away without bothering to say another word.

"Bye, then!" Potter called after her, his voice heavy with sarcasm. Lily snorted to herself.

"Bye," she drawled back, glancing over her shoulder at his retreating figure. She waited until he was gone from sight, then continued to look along the floor as she walked, musing over the conversation she had just had.

James half ran, half walked, concentrating on not tripping over his feet, still not quite able to believe what he had done. He had a date with Vicki Sumner, which he was already late for, and he had stopped to chat with that Evans girl of all people! What had he been thinking?

He ran faster, his heart speeding up at the thought of Sumner – no, Vicki. Vicki. His girlfriend, Vicki Sumner.

Wow, that sounded good to hear. Or good to think. Whatever.

James jogged on, happily day dreaming, and as he ran there was a sudden crunch underfoot, and something shot across the floor. Surprised, he skidded to a halt and looked back.

Something green lay in two halves on the floor – some kind of stone, he realised, when he looked closer. Intrigued, he knelt on the floor and picked it up, and a long, fine silver chain came with it. He ran it through his fingers for a moment, then shrugged and tucked it into his pocket.

He had more important things to think about, after all.

0o0

Remus stared incredulously at Peter, who was getting steadily pinker by the second.

"Are you seriously saying," he began, watching as Peter started chewing on some Ice Mice, "That you don't know the three times tables?"

Peter frowned for a moment, carefully unwrapping his chocolate frog. "Well, I was never really sure what they were, exactly," he said, a little indistinctly through all his crunching, "I mean, my Dad tried to teach me, but - " he gave an enormous swallow, "He gave up in the end."

"Uh – huh," mumbled Remus, craning his neck to see what card Peter had with his Frog, "Why was that?"

Peter blushed as he gnawed on the Frog's foot. "I kept thinking it was something to do with the dining table."

It was amazing, Remus thought as he chose to not reply to that comment and bent his head over his papers, that something as relatively simple like offering to help Peter with his Divination homework could turn out to be so hard. Especially when the person you were helping could only add and subtract using his fingers.

"Anyway," added Peter, tossing the Frog wrapper into the fire, "What has three tables got to do with my Divination homework?"

"_Because,_" Remus sighed, "If you had two dreams every night for three days…" he broke off at the look of complete incomprehension on Peter's face.

"Nothing, Peter," he said eventually, "It has nothing to do with it at all."

"Oh, good," Peter sighed and stretched out, wiggling his toes in the warmth of the fire. "I was sort of worried for a moment."

"Don't be," murmured Remus, doodling on his parchment, "Life's too short…"

He blinked in surprise. Where had _that _come from?

But then, he supposed it was sort of true. It was a good kind of motto to live by.

As he sat there musing over that thought, he became aware of someone standing behind him, and casually he glanced round, screwing up his eyes in the light of the roaring fire.

A dark, spiky haired boy stood with his hands in his pockets, staring down at him, and as Remus continued to squint at him he gave a slight grin.

"Hey," said Sirius, dropping bodily into an armchair, "Whatcha doing?"

Peter looked up at that, and gave a faint squeak of surprise, mouth falling open.

"What have you done to your hair!" he yelped, shielding his eyes as though the sight was dazzling him, and clutching his quill protectively close. Sirius raised an eyebrow, self consciously putting up a hand to ruffle his barely two inch long hair (and looking remarkably like James as he did it)

"What's wrong with it?" he asked defensively, keeping the hand carefully on top of his head, "I thought it looked alright!"

"It's…It…" Remus wasn't sure if it was shock, disbelief or admiration on Peter's face as he continued to gawp at Sirius's newly cropped hair, "It's…ah…"

"Remus!" cried Sirius in desperation, swivelling his body round and looking at him with his hand playing nervously at the back of his neck, "You're the wordy one here! What d'you reckon?"

Considering the question, Remus looked it over. The change to Sirius's face was shocking, without his usual black curtain of hair about his neck, but… not really in a bad way, once you got over the surprise of seeing Sirius without long hair.

"It's…short," he finished up finally, then immediately felt stupid as Sirius threw his hands to the heavens in exasperation.

"Well, Peter could have told me that! Merlin, guys, not feeling too clever this evening are we?" Sirius's face had darkened, his eyes, now so clearly free of hair, looked thunderous. "I'm going to kill those house-elves if they didn't do a good job…"

"_House elves_?" yelped Remus, amazed, "Since when did they double as a hair and beauty salon?"

Sirius shrugged bad temperedly, "They're house elves. It's in their blood to do stuff like that…a lot of them are trained to cut hair along with doing the laundry and stuff. My house elf used to cut my brother's hair for him, ages ago…but forget that. It looks crap doesn't it?" He spread his arms wide and tried to fix a joking grin on his face. "Give it to me straight, Remus. Am I going to be a laughing stock from now on?"

For the second time, Remus roved his eyes over Sirius's face, quite unable to get over how different he looked. "It looks…good." He leaned back, trying to imagine he was seeing his friend for the first time. "Definitely good," he concluded decisively.

Sirius studied him for a moment, and then nodded, tentatively taking his hand away from his head.

"You look so different though, Sirius!" Peter burst out, causing the hand to shoot back to his hair, "I didn't even recognize you at first!"

"But in a good way, right?" Sirius asked anxiously, . Peter nodded furiously.

"Well, yeah, obviously in a _good _way. I mean, your hair's always looked good, no matter what length it is!"

It sounded kind of crawly to Remus, but it appeared to be the right thing to say. Face clearing, Sirius leant back in his armchair and grinned broadly. "So where's Jamesie-poo then?"

"Still out." Remus muttered, looking back down at his homework, "I don't know when he'll be back."

"Yeah. Right." Sirius stood up and stretched. "Think I'll go to bed. Night, all."

"Night," replied Peter and Remus simultaneously, and Sirius walked away up the boys stairs, looking strangely unlike himself from the back. Peter looked at Remus, and for the second time that day shared a 'look'.

"There's a lot of stuff happening today, isn't there?" Peter sighed, staring blankly over at the portrait hole.

"Telling me," muttered Remus, reaching out to re-load his quill with ink.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ok, you can all let out your gasps of horror now. YES! I cut Sirius's hair! It is now officially short! He didn't always have long hair, anyway. There's a part in the 5th book where Moody says 'and there's Sirius, back when he had short hair.' So there.

Right, so…that;s four hugs collected so far! Come on people, you expect Remus to get happier on THAT? (Glares at the people, who all run away)

I'm going to have to go now, as my brother is lying in his bed whining for me to get off the computer. So…see ya!

Peace and blessings

Mooncheese xx


	14. Vicki Sumner

Remus woke up to the rather painful sensation of being jerked backwards and forwards by his shoulders. At first he thought it all part of the interesting dream he'd just been having, but as it dawned on him that the voice urgently whispering his name belonged to James, his brain started to click into action. After all, James only ever woke you up if it was an emergency. Other than that he just left any sleeper well alone.

"Nggggh?" Remus cracked open an eye to squint at James's wide eyed expression, before feeling the heavy hooks of sleep drag them closed again. The shaking became more violent.

"Remus! Wake up!"

"Huh?" Remus mumbled, peeling open his eyes again to check it definitely wasn't a dream. Unfortunately, James was still there and all-too solid. He looked panicked. Funny. James hardly ever flipped out over anything.

"Wassa matter, James?" Remus finally found the strength to sit up in bed to stare groggily at James, back slumped. James pulled an agonised face, pressing one finger to his lips with his eyes popping. Remus, however, was still completely at sea.

"There's someone in here!"

The statement took a while to sink in. Remus blinked at James, feeling totally baffled. "Er – yeah, there usually is…"

"No! I mean, someone I don't know! Some guy with short black hair is lying in Sirius's bed!" James's eyes were wide and genuine, and before Remus could reply he had hauled him up out of bed and dragged him over to Sirius's bed. "Look," he said in a deathly whisper, "There. Now you're not telling me that's Sirius!"

Staring, Remus gave a huge yawn and squinted at the patch of dark hair on the white pillow through watering eyes. For a moment he frowned, trying to figure out who could possibly be – and then he remembered. It was certainly strange how completely unrecognisable Sirius looked from the back now.

"That _is _Sirius," he mumbled sleepily, glancing up at the clock. "I'm going back to bed…"

James gave a very sarcastic snort, folding his arms and looking down his nose at Remus. "Have you gone silly over night? Earth to Remus. Earth to Remus. Sirius has _long hair, _remember?"

The figure on the bed shifted at his words, rolling onto his side so his sleeping face was in their direction. James's mouth fell open. For a moment he seemed totally speechless.

"Remus?" he whispered, eyes glued to Sirius's face, "Is that…Sirius?"

"Yes, James," Remus yawned, though it was vaguely amusing to see James look so totally shell shocked, "He had his hair cut yesterday. Can I go back to bed now?"

He didn't seem to hear him. James continued to stand there, staring at Sirius and frowning so hard his face looked squashed. "You're seriously saying that's him?"

"Yes, I am," sighed Remus, and without bothering to witness what was sure to be an amusing reunion between Sirius and James, he trailed back to bed. It was, as he noticed as he glanced up at the clock, five o'clock in the morning, after all.

0o0

Two hours later and Remus found himself traipsing down the stairs into the common room with James, Sirius and Peter, his hair sticking up at all angles and eyes still full of sleep. Peter trailed alongside him, frankly looking like death warmed up, something Remus decided tactfully not to point that out, knowing he could hardly look any better himself. James and Sirius, of course, were acting like it was mid-afternoon already and were bickering loudly right in Remus's ear.

"…ah, just shut up about my hair already, Potter, you're obviously bursting with jealousy…"

"Jealous? _Me_? No way in hell, Black, I'm just saying you look weird, is all."

"Well, thanks very much! I thought it actually looked alright, but if _Jamesie says it looks weird…_"

"I didn't say it like that! All I said was…"

A girl walking across the common room glared at them, disturbed by their loud voices. She was probably in the year above, Remus thought, as she was fairly taller than them. As she shook her head and made to move on, however, Remus saw her do the smallest of double-takes, her eyes widening. Very briefly, she stood still, eyes glued to either James or Sirius as though she couldn't quite believe her eyes. Frowning, Remus glanced behind him, but all he saw were his arguing mates. Looking back, he saw the girl had walked away, and was now climbing out the portrait hole, her large blue eyes looking over her shoulder at them.

Strange.

Things got stranger, however, as they too clambered through the hole and walked along the corridors to the Great Hall. Almost every girl they passed seemed to do a double-take as they came around the corner, their gazes fixed unblinkingly on James and Sirius as though they were strolling around naked. One girl with pigtails walked straight into a wall she was so busy staring at them, and went so red her face resembled a tomato. Girls muttered to each other as they caught sight of them, the younger ones standing rather closer together than was ordinary, looking rather pink, whereas the older ones tossed their hair and stared openly, lips slightly apart.

It was only as they came into the Great Hall and sat down did it finally dawn on Remus exactly what, or rather who, they were all looking at.

"D'you ever get the feeling someone's watching you?" mumbled Sirius, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing round the Hall. Behind him, a pack of girls giggled and started whispering to each other, their eyes constantly flickering over to Sirius. Remus shook his head, bemused.

"I mean, I know I'm devastatingly handsome and everything," he continued sarcastically, "But why the hell is everyone staring at us?"

James gave a mock wave over at the whispering girls, who all fell about laughing and, much to his surprise, waved back. Remus swallowed a snort of laughter and started buttering his toast, watching Sirius out the corner of his eye.

After complaining loudly about it was so unfair, he'd only had his hair cut and now it felt like the whole world was staring at him, Sirius finally found solitude in ramming his mouth so full with bacon he couldn't talk, and sat there chewing, a vaguely disgruntled look on his face. Silence fell over the four of them, sitting there trying to ignore the blatant looks and comments being thrown their way. Remus didn't particularly mind. When it came to shutting out the outside world, he had quite a talent at it, after all, he had had a lot of practise.

James, on the other hand, had not.

"I swear I'm going to say something to them in a minute," James growled, whipping his head round as a girls high pitched laughter rang out behind him, "If they laugh just once more…"

Sirius, his mouth too full to speak, nodded furiously and stuck his thumbs up to show he approved of this idea.

"Anyone would think we'd sprouted an extra arm…and they all keep whispering to each other as well, like they all have this huge secret!"

"Yeah!" Peter chipped in, wide eyed, "And then they look over here and start giggling again! I wonder what they're saying."

Remus sat up slightly straighter at this point. Carefully, making sure not to make it too obvious, he leant backwards, towards the Ravenclaw table where most of the laughing girls were sitting whispering to each other. After shutting out James and Peter's ranting voices, he concentrated on listening to the higher ones, the ones muttering to each other right behind him…

"…Black…never noticed…I mean, wow!"

"…looking this way…new hair…merlin…"

"Hi_ya_, you alright?"

Remus jumped violently as the last sentence burst his ear drums at about sixty decibels. Wincing and looking round he stared as someone he had never seen in his life plopped herself down on the bench between James and Sirius, who both leapt backwards in shock.

"Vicki!" James cried at once, his face a mixture of happiness and terror, and they all stared at the newcomer, slightly dumfounded. 'Vicki' wasn't exactly average in her looks. For the first time since he had heard of her, Remus finally understood why she was so popular. With her dark red, ringlety hair tumbling seductively over her shoulders and slanted green eyes, lined with thick dark eyelashes she had half the student population turning their heads to look at her, and she seemed to know it. Smiling confidently round at all of them, she reached out and took a grape from the centre of the table, biting into it with perfect, straight teeth. Peter gazed at her, agog.

"Hi," she said, her voice velvety and smooth, the voice of a singer, "I'm Vicki. It's nice to meet you all."

"Pleasure," muttered Remus, praying she wouldn't talk to him. Peter managed a faint squeak, and Sirius, his mouth still full up with bacon, merely nodded, though his eyes were wide.

"Vicki," said James again, his voice much more deeper, talking in a way Remus had never heard him use before, "It's real nice of you to come over here and everything, last night was…"

"Sirius, is it?" Vicki said, putting her back to James to face the still chomping Sirius, "It's especially nice to meet you."

Sirius froze. Remus frowned, taken aback at the way she had so blatantly ignored her so called 'boyfriend.' James himself was looking totally shocked, as though Vicki had just kicked him in the teeth.

Giving an enormous swallow, Sirius sought desperately for something to say. "It's- er – nice to meet you too!" He gave a nervous little laugh, eyes zooming over to Remus, to James, to Vicki again. He seemed quite bewildered, and kept craning his head to look at James.

Vicki leaned forwards, gently touching his arm with one long-nailed finger and he jumped as though he'd been stung. "I've been thinking about you a lot, recently. You might even say…I can't get you out of my mind." Her head tilted to one side, gazing intently into his eyes. "How would you like to accompany me for a walk round the lake tonight?"

Sirius's mouth fell open, giving Vicki a very pleasant view of mashed up bacon stuck in his teeth. James's eyes were two narrowed slits behind Vicki's back, his knuckles white from clenching the tabletop so hard, breathing heavily through his nose.

For one long moment, Sirius didn't say anything. He simply sat there, staring at Vicki as though he couldn't quite believe his ears. Briefly he flashed a glance at Remus, pleading for help, but Remus could only sit and watch, waiting on tenterhooks for his reply. They all watched in silence as Sirius's dark eyes darted from Vicki to his hands, Vicki to back again. Sumner herself had her head held expectantly on one side, small smile stretching her lips as though already convinced of his answer. Remus chanced a look at James and saw his eyes were locked with Sirius, face held stiff and grim, fingers tap-tap-tapping on the table, getting heaver and more insistent and the seconds grew longer.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Sirius was staring at James, a guarded look in his eyes.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Vicki's smirk was slipping, blinking with her long, soft eyelashes as she gazed at Sirius, awaiting his answer.

Tap. Tap. Tap. James's other hand was clenched in his lap, his lip curling up to almost a sneer, eyes two slits in his face.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Everyone was staring at Sirius, their eyes locked without mercy on his face, and he seemed to be wilting under the pressure, and looked as though any minute he was going to –

"QUIT STARING AT ME!"

crack.

"_What_?" Vicki looked shocked. Sirius whipped his head round to look at her.

"Not you! Them!" he flapped his hands at Remus, James and Peter, and Vicki peered round at them, confused. Then she looked back at him, her face hardening.

"I'll take that as a no, shall I?"

"Huh?" Sirius stared at her, then shook his head as though trying to clear his thoughts. "No. Yes. I mean, no! Oh, bloody hell…" He swallowed, and began biting his fingernail. "What I meant to say was…aren't you…and James…going out?" he gestured with his fingers towards James, who promptly went scarlet. Vicki glanced over her shoulder at him with a frown.

"Him?"

It was only one word. One single, mono syllable word. Yet as soon as it she said it James's face crumpled and flushed even worse. Abruptly he stood up and walked out as fast as he could, and Sirius watched him go, a torn look in his eyes. Then, without another word he too stood up and headed out after him as well, leaving Vicki sitting there on her own, who for a moment looked completely thunderstruck. Out of all the people she'd ever asked out, Remus could safely say from her expression that none of them had ever done that before.

He looked at her uncertainly, then exchanged a helpless look with Peter. Or rather, he would have exchanged a helpless look with Peter if he wasn't still staring, open mouthed at what was clearly an angel to him, no matter how many boys she dropped.

Vicki sank her head gracefully into her hands, then proclaimed loudly to no-one in particular, "Well. How rude." She sighed and folded her arms on the tabletop, smiling ruefully over at Remus. "Are they always like that?"

"Er…" Remus shrugged, avoiding her gaze. She shook her head and dropped her chin delicately onto one hand, gazing over at him with large, orb-like green eyes.

"I don't suppose _you _would like to accompany me for a stroll around the lake tonight?"

Remus was thankful nothing was in his mouth, otherwise he would have spat it all over the table in his shock. "What? No!" he snapped, rather more forcefully than he intended. Vicki didn't seem to mind, however, and only shrugged and stood up.

"It was worth a shot. You're kind of cute, you know. I suppose you have a girlfriend?"

Wordlessly, Remus shook his head and watched her smile and walk away. Then he went back to his toast, shaking slightly.

Eight in the morning and it had been the craziest day he'd had so far.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Guess what? ONLY SIX REVIEWS UNTILL WE HIT THE BIG 100!

Whoo! Triple figures! I can hardly believe it!

Big shout-out to Carly, if she's reading this, as she promised she would. Go read her stories under PocketPoodle, at because they rock! Trust me, I've read them.

Love and peace to all of you. Don't forget to review and break up my revision…

Mooncheese xxx


	15. Silver

James walked fast. He didn't know where he was going, or what he was going to do when he got there, but he sure knew one thing: he was never going to forgive Sirius for what he had done. Never.

Portraits on the walls seemed to fly past him as he increased his speed so he was nearly running, and his fists clenched balls of rage. How could he, how dare he, how could he do that to him! And as for _Sumner…_James's lip curled into a sneer. They were just welcome to each other! He didn't need either of them! Growling, he stamped up a staircase, taking no notice as it started to move and nearly causing him to lose his balance.

Thump, thump, thump.

For just a second he froze, then he carried on striding up the stairs, teeth gritted. Unfortunately the thumps continued up the staircase, faster than he could walk, and he could hear laboured breathing behind him, and the next second Sirius sprang into view, making him start.

"Holy…how fast do you _walk_, boy?" he panted, falling into step beside him. James ignored him, and walked faster.

"James?" They reached a landing, and James made an abrupt turn, striding furiously along the stone floor and throwing Sirius off for a second, who made a few running steps, then stood right in front of him, forcing him to a stop. James stepped sideways. Sirius did the same. Snarling, James tried to step the other way, but again, Sirius mimicked him.

"Look, just piss off!" shouted James, shoving Sirius away, but it was like trying to heave lead. Sirius folded his arms and looked at him.

"No."

James glared, and Sirius stared straight back. "Sirius," he said eventually, forcing his voice to sound calm, "Just leave me alone, ok?"

"I said no, didn't I?"

James wanted to scream at him, and without warning he turned and strode away from Sirius's calm, dark eyes that dared to be bloody patronising. He wanted to hit him when the thumping footsteps caught neatly up with him again, and Sirius once again was matching his steps, and out the corner of his eye he could see him looking at him. Setting his jaw, James stared icily into the middle distance.

"What the hell is up with _you_?" Sirius had a bite of anger in his voice, and the urge to hit him returned to James even stronger. He couldn't stop himself from retorting.

"What d'you mean 'what the hell is up with me'? What d'you think is up with me, Sirius? Or are you so thick you don't even realise you just stole my girlf…" James bit his tongue hard, nails driving into his palm as his hands clenched even harder.

Sirius sighed. "Look James, you're being stupid - "

"Oh, I'm stupid now am I?" James replied tightly, and walked faster. So did Sirius. "Look, I don't care if you're going out with Sumner, alright? Get it? I'm totally fine with it!" His sentence ended in a yell. Sirius nodded.

"So…" he pondered thoughtfully, "You _don't _care that the prettiest girl in the year just rejected you and treated you like shit?"

"No. I. Don't." James ground out, though his heart throbbed painfully as he remembered the look on Vicki's face as she glanced over her shoulder at him, as though she'd never met him in her life. "Happy now?"

"Yeah." Sirius nodded, "Thanks. Now I know how to take it."

James snorted, then frowned as he tried to process Sirius's words. They didn't make sense. "What?" he said aggressively, looking at Sirius, vaguely aware that they had stopped walking, "What did you say?"

Sirius shrugged at him. "I know how to take it now."

"Stop being so bloody cryptic! What are you talking about?"

Sirius met his eyes. "I'm not going out with her, James. So I know how to take the fact that I'm not going out with the lovely Vicki Sumner, either."

For a moment, James was rendered speechless. This didn't add up. "So…you're not going out with…her?" he got out eventually.

"Yup."

"She's _not _your girlfriend?"

"That's right." Sirius had a bit of a grin on his face. "De'ja vu, anyone?"

For a long moment James simply stared at him, then he shook his head and shrugged casually. "Well. I never really thought so in the first place."

Sirius smiled broadly. "'Course you didn't mate," he laughed as they both turned and started strolling back down the stairs, "'Course you didn't…"

0o0

Remus never thought he would be relieved to see James and Sirius pissing around instead of saying nothing; but for this once, he was. He had been vaguely worried to think of the pair of them arguing over a girl, and possibly end up not speaking to each other, leading to all kinds of awkward scenarios that he just didn't want to think about.

Grinning slightly to himself, he watched Sirius's and James's heated debate over inter-house Quidditch ("I know Slytherin's a house of scum, James, but you have to admit they know their stuff on the pitch!" "What? Did you even _see _their latest attempt at a goal in their last match?") but there was no real malice in their voices. Peter was following the conversation closely, and every now and then attempted to pipe up with a comment, only to be drowned out by James, or Sirus's over-bearing voices.

Remus didn't even attempt to join in. He had no opinion of Quidditch, after all, he had never even seen a match. He usually pleaded the excuse of homework whenever one rolled around, or sometimes it was simply that he had been too…ill. He shuddered involuntarily, then glanced edgily round to see if anyone had noticed. It was safe to say none of them had. Somewhere along the line James's argument had become too frustrating for Sirius, and he had resorted to sticking his fingers in his ears and singing "Deck the halls with bows of holly,' while an incredibly annoyed looking James attempted to continue the discussion with Peter.

Fighting down a yawn, Remus looked sleepily round the common room, almost too tired to move. It was pitch black outside the windows, it being December, and the entire common room buzzed with chatter and noise. The fire leapt in its blackened grate, casting long, spidery shadows across the floor that seemed to beckon Remus with fingers of darkness. He watched them dance and leap from one surface to the other, then yawned again, feeling drained. Unconsciously he did a mental count up in his head, then felt his stomach twist as he realised there was only seven days left until the next full moon.

_Don't think about it, _he told himself, and he closed his eyes against James, Peter and Sirius's happy faces, _It's no use dwelling on it, you know that. _

Laughter rang at him from all sides of the common room. Merlin, these days were going so fast. It only felt like it was yesterday when he sat in the Great Hall for the first time, alone, trying to ignore the stares of what felt like everyone in the entire castle boring into his head.

"I've looked all over, and I can't find it anywhere!"

A high pitched, slightly hysterical voice penetrated Remus's cloudy thoughts, and looking up he saw Lily Evans standing over to one side of the common room, clutching her hair and looking close to tears. A girl talking to her murmured something he couldn't hear, patting her shoulder but Lily threw her off with a jerk of her shoulders.

"Don't give me that crap, it's gone! I know it has!"

Her face seemed to crumple, and she didn't even notice as her friend gave an angry toss of her head and stalked off, leaving her to stand there alone. Remus stared at her for a moment, and felt quite alarmed as her eyes filled with tears which were hastily blinked away. Dropping her head so her dark red hair hung curtain-like over her face, Lily started walking past him in the direction of the girls dorms.

"Lily?" Remus called softly as she passed, but either she didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. "Lily!" he tried slightly louder, and was rewarded with her lifting her head and glancing round to see who had said her name.

"Over here!" he called again, kneeling up on the arm of his chair to gain her attention, and Lily summoned up a weak smile when she saw it was him.

"Hey, Remus," she said, coming over and leaning heavily on the back of his chair, "You ok?"

"I'm fine," mumbled Remus, "I was just wondering if you were alright. You looked…sad?" He finished his sentence with a question in his tone and an embarrassed smile on his face at the lameness of his words, but Lily didn't seem to mind.

"It's just…oh, it won't mean much to you. But I've lost this necklace and…and it's really important to me…" she ended her sentence with a shrug and a sad smile. "I guess I just can't let it go."

"Necklace?" Remus repeated, slightly surprised. "Well, I can't say I've seen anything. What did it look like?"

Lily sighed, her fingers going up to curl round her neck as though to play with a chain that wasn't there. "It's a green heart," she said eventually, staring into space, "A heart pendant, made out of jade. It has, like…" she gestured with her hands, trying to describe what she could so clearly see in front of her eyes, "Like an etched out design on it, of a flower. Gold. And it has my name on the back." She sighed again, more loudly this time. "You ever seen something like that lying around?" The hurt in her eyes was showing clearly. Wordlessly, Remus shook his head.

"I'll keep a look out for it," he added helpfully, and Lily nodded.

"I know it seems like a load of fuss over nothing but…my dad made me that, Remus. So I want it back." She straightened up suddenly, aware that she was plunging into dangerous territory. "I'd better be going. See you around."

"Bye," Remus said, but she was already gone, jogging lightly up the girls staircase, long red hair rippling out slightly behind her. Turning back, he noticed all three of his friends had paused their conversation to stare at him. Raising an eyebrow at them, he stared back.

"What," said James, pronouncing each of his words carefully, "was she doing here again?"

Remus regarded him carefully for a moment. "She'd lost something." He didn't know why, but the aggressive undertone in James's voice prompted him to be vague.

"Lost what?" came the immediate reply.

Remus hesitated. Lily had seemed so upset…and her necklace had appeared to be of great importance to her. It wouldn't do to have James teasing her about it. But then, he couldn't exactly lie to him. "A necklace."

"That's _it_? Merlin, and there was me thinking it was something important." James snorted and sat back in his chair, firelight glinting off his glasses. Remus felt a sudden surge of annoyance.

"It meant a lot to her, James! She wanted to know if I'd seen it!"

"Oh, _right_," retorted James, voice heavy with sarcasm, "And you'd notice if you saw a necklace lying around this massive castle, would you? You don't even know what it looks like!"

"I do!" Remus shot back, aware that Peter and Sirius were staring at him, "She was describing it to me!"

"Oh yes, let me guess." James adopted a high, falsetto voice, "Oh, _Remmy, _I'm so worried! I've lost this necklace, it has a silver chain and a, er, pendant on the end! Have you seen anything like that before, Remus?"

"Er – excuse me," interrupted Sirius, "Is this a private argument, or can anyone join in?" Both Remus and James ignored him, eyes locked. Inside Remus's heart was pounding in terror: was he actually _fighting _with James?

James was smirking at him, and any trace of fear was won over by anger. Remus ground his teeth, feeling for a second the wolf stirring within him, wakened by the smug, mocking expression on James's face. "You shut up!" he barked loudly, making several people in the common room look round in surprise, "You don't know what you're talking about!"

The instant the words were out of his mouth, he regretted it. James's eyes flashed dangerously, and he leant forwards, eyes boring into Remus. "I don't know what I'm talking about, do I?" he hissed icily, and Peter gave a frightened little shudder next to him, "Well, I do know one thing. You fancy the _knickers _off that Evans girl, Remus, and don't even think of denying it."

Silence fell, heavy, intense, electrifying. Remus stared at James, completely dumbstruck. "I do _not_!" he gasped, embarrassment winning over his anger, "She's just…I mean, we're just friends, for crying out loud!"

"Course you are," drawled James, looking oddly triumphant, "So how come you're always talking to her, and always sticking up for her?"

"_Because we're friends_," snarled Remus angrily, rage pulsing through his blood again, red hot. "Merlin, can't a boy and girl be friends without people like you saying stupid stuff?" His frustration increased as James broke out into peals of laughter.

"You are so naïve, Remus! You think all that necklace stuff was real? I'll bet you any money she made it up, just to get the chance to talk to you!"

"That's stupid!" Remus clenched his fists as James forced out yet more antagonising laughter.

James looked up at him, eyes dark with sarcastic amusement. "Go on, then. What does her necklace look like?"

Remus halted for a moment, tearing his eyes away from James's mocking face, and tried to recall what Lily had said to him. It was a green…something. Green…

"A green heart!" he burst out triumphantly, "A green heart, with her name on the back, and a flower on the front!"

Again silence, only this time with such a deep chord to it that Remus felt his temper ebb and fade. Suddenly, he felt aghast. What on earth had happened to the world? When had he started arguing with James over something Lily Evans had said to him? He leant forwards to say something, anything to put the tense atmosphere back to the way it was, and he would have done, if Sirius hadn't said what he did next.

"Hey James, didn't you find something like that? I swear you showed me a pendant like that this morning."

James was looking totally taken aback, and sat looking at Sirius with his mouth open. Then, in a slow kind of horror he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a chain, with something green hanging off the end. Remus stared at it in disbelief. That sure didn't look like a heart to him, though it might have been once. Wordlessly, James pulled out another, separate dark green stone and held it against the other piece.

A green heart. Already, Remus saw how the intricate, fine gold lines made the picture of a flower – a lily, he realised. For a moment he was too amazed to speak. Sirius stretched out and took it, examining it closely, then flipped the two halves over.

"A green heart…" he said musingly, "With her name on the back, and a flower on the front." He looked up and met eyes with Remus, then glanced at James. "James?"

"I – well," spluttered James, going rather red, "I mean…I didn't really…well, I still _know _you fancy her! Here, go give her back her precious necklace!" Standing up, he snatched the chain with its pathetic half-stone dangling from it, and threw it at Remus, who instinctively put up his hands to catch it.

Remus wasn't the best of catchers. Usually, when someone passed a ball to him he let it go rather than suffer the embarrassment of dropping it. But today he saw the necklace, sparkling in the firelight fly towards him as though in slow motion, and he stretched out his palms, and caught it neatly in his hands. For a moment everything was frozen in motion, James just starting to stride away, Sirius and Peter staring, the silver chain nestled in his fingers.

Remus had known pain before. Being a werewolf, it all came as part of the package. He even knew what it was like to be burnt by fire – that had hurt, too. But nothing could ever match up to the piercing, sharp shards of fiery agony that bit and twisted into his skin now, and he screamed, throwing the chain to the floor. He doubled up, pressing his palm to his chest, eyes squeezed close, shrieking for the pain to fade but it never did, it continued to course through his skin as though a red-hot poker was being pressed onto his hand. The pain was building up, he could hardly see, darkness was pressing in around his eyes, there was nothing else in the world anymore, it was just him and the pain, him and the pain.

Something was shaking his shoulder. What did it matter? His hand was alight with acid fire! He tried to take deep breaths but his chest was straining against him, only permitting tight little gasps. Tears were blurring his eyes, God, if only he could escape from the pain but it was unbearable, it was taking over his whole body…

Someone was calling his name. Someone else was trying to prise his hand away from his chest, but he cringed away from them, locking his arm tightly against his ribs. It was the only soothe for what he could feel now, for what was taking him over.

A vision came in front of his eyes, and he realised he was looking at Sirius's hair, no it was the dark of the Shack, waiting for him to transform that night. James was talking to him – or was that the wind howling in through the gaps in the walls? Remus could no longer tell, he was locked on an island of fire, unable to comprehend a thing. There was a way out, though. He could sense it coming, and he flung himself into the grateful oblivion as he had never wanted to do before. His systems instantly shut down, launching him into beautiful, beautiful peace…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Bwa ha ha ha! Cliffie! A terrible cliffie nonetheless, but still a cliffie! Well, I finished my exams, in case you were interested. I think I could have done a lot better, but oh well. Results don't come until July. Oh yeah, and big shout out to **MutantJediBauer, **for being my **100th **reviewer!

Review thank-you's are now being posted on my profile. So go click on my name at the top to view it, and find your name. Love all of you!

Love and peace

Mooncheese xx


	16. Voices

Poppy Pomfrey was panicking. She hurried over her medicine store cupboard, flinging open the doors and looking inside. Her hands were shaking as they ran over the well-polished bottles she knew so well, but today she simply couldn't find what she was looking for. Giving a frustrated groan, she gave up and stepped back, running her trained, medi-witch's eyes over the labels.

"Sleep potion, dreamless, wakefulness, acne cures…oh come on!" she shouted at the shelves, and the blurry medicines blinked balefully back at her, "Where is anything when you need it?"

Footsteps outside. Poppy jerked her head up and looked round, before hurrying to the door. "Who's there!" she barked, unable to take any more shocks. She didn't think her system could handle it. "I warn you, I have a very sick patient and…Headmaster!" She stood still, kicking herself for sounding so abrupt as Albus Dumbledore came into the room, towering far above her own petite self. With a polite smile, he inclined his white haired head towards her, the usual sparkle in his blue eyes having faded. "I hope I haven't disturbed you, Poppy."

"Not at all!" Poppy managed to squeak out. For a moment she dithered, her eyes darting over to the figure lying motionless on one of her beds. "Well, I am sort of…dealing with an emergency, Headmaster, so I'm afraid…"

"Oh, please don't waste your time on me," Dumbledore held up a long-fingered hand, "Please, do all you can. I mustn't stop you."

With a grateful sigh and a murmured, "Thank you," Poppy sprang back into action. Back to that damned medicine cabinet. Her dark hair was starting to unravel from its tight bun and she clutched frantically at the loose strands, fretting for a moment Dumbledore would notice. How terrible, to be so disorganised in front of the Head! Thankfully, her eye happened to fall directly on the jar she required as she approached the cupboard, and she seized it thankfully before scurrying back to the bed. Her patient lay sprawled on the pristine white blankets, his usually pale features now the colour of ashes. Dumbledore had seated himself next to the boy, and looked on quietly as she quickly washed his forearm with soap and water, before filling a syringe and injecting him with the highest measure of the potion she dared give him. Only then did she allow herself to relax slightly.

"I have given him something to counter-act the poison in his blood," she said formally, though her voice trembled, "It is the most I can do for him right now. His body…" she swallowed, and busied herself with the dish of soapy water, "Is very weak at this time of the month. Nothing he can't survive, of course, but it's a nasty blow to his immune system." She started to drain the water slowly away, watching Dumbledore out the corner of her eye. He didn't appear to be looking at her, but had his head bent.

"What caused such a reaction?" His soft voice carried across the air between them. Poppy shivered slightly.

"Silver," she replied crisply. Or at least she hoped it to be crisp. "Undoubtedly silver. Nothing else could have caused such a severe reaction. His entire body went into shock, and he won't be waking up out of it for a while yet."

She carried the jar back to the cabinet, making a mental note of where she put it this time, and carefully shut the door behind her. Then she turned to look at Dumbledore, wiping her hands on her apron. His face was set into grave lines, and his head rested on inter-locked fingers as he gazed at Remus Lupin's sickened face. He seemed to be lost in thought. Poppy held her breath and walked quietly across the gleaming, hospital wing tiles until she was facing him across the other side of the bed. Together, they both stared at the boy.

Funny, Poppy thought, as she took in Lupin's tousled, light brown hair and sickly grey skin, he looks like such an ordinary boy. A rather ill boy at present, but still, normal. No-one would ever have guessed, just by looking at him…ever even suspected…she leaned forwards and lifted up one of his eyelids. Dull, empty blue iris's stared back at her, and she made a note of the pupil size before letting it drop again.

Dumbledore glanced up at her, and their eyes met. "What needs to be done?" he asked quietly, and she shrugged before remembering that it was a terrible habit and made her look horribly uncouth. She hastily changed it to a soothing shoulder roll.

"Well, bed rest, that's for certain. Absolutely no disturbances, even when he wakes up, for, I should say, about three days. And longer than that if he lets me have my way." She allowed a small smile to break through the professional mask. "Mr Lupin doesn't like being stuck in bed."

The headmaster didn't smile back. "I expect Messer's Potter, Black and Pettigrew will wish to see their friend, Poppy."

Poppy felt her smile vanish. "I'm sorry, Professor, but that simply isn't allowable. I can't risk any infection getting to him."

Dumbledore nodded, sighed, then stood up, casting a final glance back at the werewolf boy on the bed. "Do all you must for him, then. I shall drop by again soon." He turned to leave, and then stopped as though struck by a sudden thought. Turning his head to looked at her, he smiled, a twinkle sparking slightly once more in his eyes. "And you know, Poppy, it is perfectly permissible for you to call me 'Albus,' now. I get quite enough of the Professor part from the students. Good evening." And with that, he made a short bow and swept out the room, leaving quite as suddenly as he entered it.

Poppy stood staring at the doorway for a moment, then shook herself and hastened to close it. Having done this, she turned round and leaned heavily against the door.

"Well, I'll be blowed," she said out loud to herself, "If he's never mentioned that before. Five years ago he was still _my _teacher. 'Albus' indeed." She shook her head and trotted forwards, stopping in front of a mirror and began to re-pin her hair. When she was satisfied she exhaled loudly, staring about her immaculate hospital wing critically. Her eye fell on Remus Lupin.

"You'll be wanting these," she murmured, flicking her wand and putting up the curtains to hang around his bed, "Because I don't need anyone else seeing you like that…oh, apart from Professor Dumbledore of course." She began to walk off, when she stopped and smacked her head with her palm. "Albus, I mean. Albus. Of course." Still muttering to herself, she went back to the rest of her daily tasks.

0o0

"Why can't we see him?" James demanded, glaring at Dumbledore with all of his being, "That is so stupid! We're his friends, we have to visit him!"

"Quiet, Mr Potter, or I will have to send you out of my office." Dumbledore regarded him sternly from the other side of his desk, and James defiantly met his gaze. Inside he was seething. How dare Dumbledore say Remus was currently out of bounds to them? They had every right to know how he was! Suppressing a snort, he leant backwards in his chair, folding his arms and trying very hard not to swear. Dumbledore looked at him in silence. After a few seconds of just sitting there without saying anything, James felt his patience begin to wear thin again.

"Can't you at least tell me what's wrong with him?" he half shouted, incensed by Dumbledore's calm-as-always blue eyes. "You're sitting there telling me not to worry, yet you're not saying one real thing about Remus! How is that supposed to help me, _how_?" He didn't know when he'd ever felt so frustrated and worried at the same time before. If it wasn't the Headmaster he was speaking to he would have forced his way into the Hospital Wing by now, regardless of what ridiculous excuse Madam Pomfrey tried to buy him with. Dumbledore didn't seem to understand: the last time he'd seen one of his best friends was flat out on the common room floor, unconscious. And now he was just supposed to accept he wasn't allowed to see him? James cracked his knuckles in his lap, biting down hard on his lip to stop himself from saying anymore.

The office around him was quiet as always, but now the silence seemed to be pressing in on his ears and ringing round his brain. Dumbledore heaved a great sigh, then tapped a finger to his lower lip, eyes fixed thoughtfully on James.

"Mr Lupin," he began, weighing his words carefully, "Is in no condition to be seen at present."

James closed his eyes and counted slowly to five. He got to three. "Yes, I do believe we've covered that," he said sarcastically, "But what. Is. Wrong. With. Him?"

"I know you hate to hear this, James, but I am simply not qualified to tell you," Dumbledore replied quietly, and James stared at him, eyes bulging with suppressed rage.

"But you must know!" he snapped forcefully, "You can't honestly not know!"

"That is the truth, Mr Potter. Now," Dumbledore held up a hand to cut off James's cry of fury, "I summoned you here today to tell you what I have already mentioned. Remus Lupin is essentially fine, and will rejoin you in under a week. That is what I tell you, that is what you will accept." His eyes burned steadily into James's heated hazel ones. "Do I make myself understood?" His voice, though not angry, had such a final tone to it that James knew the discussion was over. Breathing deeply, he stood up, looking away from Dumbledore in disgust.

"Well, thank you. Very much." He stared at Dumbledore right in the eyes, and without another word he turned and strode out the office, banging the door behind him. Once outside he turned around, stuck up his middle finger at the door before running down the steps as fast as he could, wanting to get as far away as possible from the stupid fool who dared call himself Headmaster, and hence barrelled straight into Sirius who was waiting at the bottom, and knocked them both forcefully into a wall.

"Whoa, easy!" Sirius yelped indignantly, straightening himself out and running a hand through his hair, stopping halfway when he remembered he no longer had long hair. He took an exaggeratedly large step away from James, raising his eyebrows. "I like you as a mate, James, but I just don't swing that way…what's the matter?" he said, clocking James's expression, "What did he say?"

"What did he say?" James laughed harshly, glaring at the gargoyle as it slid noiselessly back into place, "What didn't he say?"

Sirius and Peter exchanged glances, but James couldn't be bothered to interpret them. He was feeling too angry to think properly. Walking over a wall, he started to bang his head on it, then stopped abruptly when he realised how much _that_ hurt. Rubbing his forehead, he wheeled round and stared at his two friends with vacant eyes.

Sirius coughed mock-politely, waving a hand in front of his face. "Well, what didn't he say, then?" he asked pleasantly, cocking his head to one side, and James felt all the old anger surge back to him.

"Only that we can't see Remus," he spat furiously, "Only that we're not even allowed to know _what's wrong with him_."

Peter frowned, and Sirius sucked in his breath sharply. "He said that?" he asked disbelievingly, "That can't be right! Can it?" he added somewhat lamely. James nodded, distractedly biting one of his fingernails.

"Apparently, he's 'not qualified to tell us,'" he sneered loudly, half-hoping Dumbledore could hear him, "And that we should just 'accept that we can't see him.' What utter _bull_!" And he swung round and kicked the wall behind him. Sirius was staring at him, looking slightly confused.

"But…that's really…weird?" he said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, "Dumbledore would tell you what's wrong with him. I get the 'no seeing him thing,' but why not tell us what's the matter with him? What's the use in that?"

"Exactly!" James scowled at the gargoyle, who glared straight back at him. With a distracted sigh he said: "Come on, guys, we'll be late for Potions."

"We're always late for Potions anyway," mumbled Peter, but the pair of them sped up to keep pace with him anyway. James strode as fast as he could, eyes fixed on the middle distance, his ears still ringing with Dumbledore's last words. Unconsciously he bit into his bottom lip, the image of Remus floating without warning through his head.

"What if he's dying?" he asked suddenly, and Peter and Sirius looked round at him, startled. James carried on staring at the floor, remembering how Remus's body had gone so limp so quickly, the way he'd cried out with real pain and fear.

"Don't be stupid," said Sirius uneasily, "You shouldn't say things like that."

"But what if it's true?" asked James woodenly, starting to feel faintly sick, "What if that's the reason Dumbledore wouldn't tell me what's wrong with him?"

"Stop it!" said Sirius sharply, "You're over-reacting, James. We don't _know _why Remus collapsed; it was probably just an ordinary faint, for all we know! Merlin, he's done it before, hasn't he? Remember, in Dumbledore's office that time?"

James's mind spun for a moment before remembering, and he nodded slowly, not feeling at all reassured. "But he screamed," he said softly, the memory of it flying through his mind, "He really screamed…like he was hurt. And then he had a fucking _fit, _Sirius! And you're telling me that was an ordinary faint?"

Sirius gripped his hair for a moment, and closed his eyes. "I don't think that was a fit, James."

"Oh, and you're the healer now, are you?" James snapped back, "I'm telling you, his eyes rolled back into his head! He was in real _pain_!"

"You don't have to have a fit to do that," Sirius said acidly, "And will you quit having a go at me?"

"I'll stop having a go at you when you stop thinking you know everything!"

"What? When the hell did I say that?"

They all clattered down into the cold, clammy atmosphere of the dungeons, where a small group of people were gathered, waiting for their Potions lesson. James glared furiously at Sirius, wishing for the first time in his life that he didn't have any friends, they were such a trial to argue with constantly. However, just as he opened his mouth to retort with a stinging come-back, another voice answered for him.

"When hasn't there been a time you think you think you know everything, Black?" drawled a cool, vaguely sinister voice, and James wheeled round at once, thoroughly riled to see his arch-nemesis Snape leaning against a wall, surrounded by Slytherins and looking incredibly smug. He was watching him carefully, as though trying to figure him out.

"Keep your nose out, Snape, before I hex it off!" snarled James, his temper stretched to just about breaking point, and the Slytherin's eyes seemed to gleam. Straightening up and nodding to one of his companions, Snape walked over and faced James full on; lowering his voice so only he could hear.

"Why so tetchy, Potter?" Snape looked him up and down, then smirked. "Oh wait, I think I know. Could it be something to do with the fact your weak little friend _fainted _last night? Did he finally get a good look at you?"

James didn't even bother respond. Within two seconds he had ripped his wand out his robe and shouted the worst incantation he could think of, and the next moment Snape had doubled up, hands over his face and groaning. The crowd of his friends came forwards and pulled him away, glaring at James yet not one of them said a thing, and the knot of people gathered there broke out into a wave of mutterings. Trying to ignore them, James turned back to Sirius, breathing heavily.

"What were you saying?"

"Er…" Sirius craned his neck to look at Snape's retreating back, "You were saying I knew everything?"

"Oh yeah." James shook his head, and turned round to catch a glimpse of Snape as well. "Did I really just do that?"

"You did. What curse did you use?"

James frowned, then fingered his wand and stared at it, confused. "I can't actually remember," he replied, feeling totally baffled, "I just said the first thing that came into my head."

Peter's mouth was hanging open. "That was brilliant!" he enthused, looking rather star-struck, "What did he say to you, James?"

James felt himself swell with pride and triumph. "Little git found out about Remus," he said airily, rumpling his hair casually with one hand, "I had to give him what he deserved. You would have done the same." He said this without an ounce of conviction, and stuck his wand back in his pocket, feeling rather pleased with himself. Sirius was regarding him with a faintly amused look in his eyes, and just started to say something, when Professor Bones strode down the steps, robes billowing out with an air of confidence and superiority, as always. Sirius closed his mouth and turned away without saying a thing to follow her into the classroom, and James did the same, straining to remember exactly what spell he'd put on Snape.

As the crush of people gathered around the door, and James was jostled around by many people's elbows and knees, he caught a glimpse of cherry-red hair amongst all the brown and blond, and he turned his head automatically to see who owned such a bright mop of hair. He turned back almost at once when he realised it was no-one but Evans, though the patch of soft red lingered in the corner of his vision even when he focused on something else. Eager to get away from it, he gave an impatient shove to the person in front, who yelped indignantly and elbowed him back.

"Watch it!" he said brusquely, rubbing his stomach.

"_You _watch it," the girl in front of him retorted over her shoulder, and he sneered at her back but didn't say anything else, and waited until he finally filtered through the doorway, and got to his seat. Professor Bones was already waiting, perched on the edge of her desk as always, and peering over her glasses at her lesson plan for the day.

"Good morning class," she said briskly when they had all settled down behind their cauldrons, "Lovely to see you again. We will begin with registration, please answer when your name is called out…you know the drill. Right. Black, Sirius!"

"Here," came Sirius's voice from somewhere in front of James, and the registration went on. Bones paused when she got to Remus's name, and looked round the class.

"Is Mr. Lupin not with us today?" she asked, frowning slightly, "Does anyone know where he is?"

"No, Miss," James called out, "He's…ill." To his right, he noticed Evans sit up when he said this, and he glanced round at her, curious. She had one wrist balanced on the edge of her cauldron, and was looking at him, her brow creased questioningly. When they met eyes she hastily looked away, and James smirked and looked back to the front as well. His smirk grew larger when there was no reply for "Snape, Severus!" and no-one answered Bones's question as to where he was, though several people did glance rather unhelpfully round at him. Thankfully, Bones didn't notice.

The lesson seemed to drag by to James, but by the time an hour had gone past he was back outside again with Peter and Sirius, the beginning of a plan formed in his head. He waited until everyone in their class disappeared around the corner, then put his mouth close to Sirius's ear. "We have to see him," he muttered, "No matter what _Dumbledore _says, he might need us there." He leant backwards to look at Sirius's face to check he was getting all this. Sirius's dark eyes were confused.

"How?" he asked.

"Tonight…we'll go there tonight…" James nodded and widened his eyes a fraction, and Sirius nodded in sudden understanding.

"Tonight…with Madam Pomfrey out the way…" James nodded and winked at Peter, who was looking totally baffled, before walking casually away.

0o0

A single shaft of moonlight poured like silver water through the gap in the curtains, and pooled around Remus's face, coating his skin a milky white. Dark locks of hair rested on china-pale cheeks, his hands lay on the bed-spread, unmoving, yet the gentle rise and fall of his chest reassured anyone who might be watching that he was still alive.

James stood still and watched, anxiously pressing the folds of his cloak taut against his face, waiting for those empty eyes to flutter open, for that motionless body to sit up and speak to him, but the moment never came. The white knife of the moon only continued to caress Remus's skin lovingly, highlighting him, for the entire world to see as a sickly boy sleeping in a hospital wing.

Was he sleeping, though? He certainly wasn't dead…

A sharp elbow dug into his leg, accompanied by a knee kicking him in the back, and with a startled and incredibly un-manly squeak, James pitched forwards, ripping his cloak along with him.

"What d'you think you're doing, you bloody git!" he demanded in a whisper, hauling the cloak roughly back over his head. For the briefest of moments a hand appeared in mid-air, groping somewhere around James's face, then disappeared again.

"It's not my fault you stand still for so long!" Sirius's voice hissed in his ear, his body pushed up uncomfortably close to James, "You move over!"

"I have cramp!" Peter complained from somewhere around James's elbow, "Can't we take it off now?"

"No!" James tried to glare in the direction of Peter, but only succeeded in head-butting Sirius in the mouth, causing both of them to yelp in pain.

"Owww! James!"

"Shut up!"

Grabbing a fistful of cloak, James wiped his sweating brow with it, for it was getting uncomfortably hot under the cloak. He cast a nervous glance around, hoping against hope Madam Pomfrey couldn't hear them from her quarters, which he knew was situated deliberately next to the Hospital Wing.

"And quit breathing on me!" he added irritably to whichever of his friends was currently baking the back of his neck.

"Who, me?" Sirius sounded startled

"Whoever's breathing on me, stop it!"

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to stop breathing, now? Good one, James." Sirius added an extra heavy, hot breath of air into James's hair to underline his point.

"Try breathing somewhere else, you mutt!"

"And how am I supposed to do that?" demanded Sirius, "All I can _see _is the back of your friggin' head…"

"My back hurts!" added Peter, still from his low down position, "How did we get like this, anyway? We always used to fit under here!"

If it hadn't been so cramped, James would have smacked his hand to his forehead in despair. As it was, he snapped back: "One of you must be hogging the cloak!"

"Not me," came Sirius and Peter's voices in unison. "Must be you," added Sirius helpfully, and James, having finally found the end of his tether, reached upwards, seized a fistful of material, and yanked hard.

Peter and Sirius's flushed faces slid dimly into view, and all three of them immediately took a large step away from each other, gratefully gulping down the fresh air.

"Finally!" sighed Peter, kneading his knuckles into the small of his back, looking pained, "I thought I'd be stuck that way forever…" he stopped abruptly as the eerie silence of the Hospital Wing struck him, and he shuffled slightly closer to James again, voice faltering. James glanced round at Remus, hesitated, then reached out and pulled up a chair to sit on, staring at his face. For a long moment all three of them were silent.

"Is he sleeping?" Sirius's hushed voice spoke eventually. James shrugged, then leant right down to Remus's level and whispered in his ear.

"Remus…? Remus…?"

No reply. For all the world he could have been talking to a brick wall, as Remus continued to lie there, mouth slightly open and eyes very firmly shut, expressionless.

"Let me try." Sirius bent down as well, cupped his hands around Remus's ears and put his mouth against his hands. "Oi! Remus! Wake up!" he all but hollered into his ear, and James reached out and pulled him back, glaring pointedly at him, then switched his gaze to Remus.

No response. "Ok, he is definitely not sleeping," said Sirius decisively, "No-one could possibly sleep through that."

"So he's out cold," murmured James, "Still out cold, even now…"

They were all silent for a moment, staring at their friends face, perplexed. James leant on the side of Remus's bed, staring at him, looking over him for any other tell-tale signs of illness, or injury, as best as he could in the dark. He was pale, no doubt about it, but Remus was naturally pale, so that was nothing. He was unconscious on a hospital wing bed for another thing, to state the obvious…

Then he saw it. Somewhere along the line James's roving eye had fallen on Remus's right hand, and he sucked in his breath sharply.

"Look at his hand. It's all bandaged up – like he's hurt it."

Out of the darkness, James could faintly make out Sirius bending down to examine the neat, white bandages as well. "I don't suppose we can take it off, can we?"

"Don't be daft." James snorted, "She'd notice in a shot. But think about it: why would Remus have bandages on his hand? That doesn't make any sense at all. He fainted. Had a fit…why would he…?"

He could almost taste Sirius and Peter's confusion. Peter stepped forwards to crane his neck at it as well.

"Maybe he hurt it before he fainted, and we never noticed," he shrugged, reaching out to finger the material, "Maybe…"

But whatever Peter was going to say next, James never found out, for at that precise moment footsteps tapped outside, and they all heard Madam Pomfrey's voice calling out. The three of them froze, terrified, only able to stare helplessly at each other, then Sirius snatched up the cloak and flung it over them.

Just in time.

"Who's here?" Madam Pomfrey called shrilly, bursting into the Hospital Wing in pink flannel pyjamas, armed with a candle, "Whoever you are, get out at once!"

James held his breath as she came forwards towards Remus, her face, lit weirdly from underneath, lined with slight fear and worry. Briefly she checked his pulse, then wheeled around and stared straight at them. With Peter and Sirius pressed up with him once more, James stood literally rooted to the spot, his heart thudding frantically. _Don't walk forwards, don't walk forwards…_

Looking puzzled, Madam Pomfrey took a step forwards. James could see her eyes running over everything in her infirmary. "Peeves?" she called uncertainly, pushing her hair back from her face. "Show yourself!"

No Peeves did reveal himself, and the frown on her face deepened. "I could have sworn…" she muttered to herself, then marched over to her cupboard and flung it open.

James took that as his cue to run, and reaching backwards he pulled Peter and Sirius with him, and altogether the three of them managed to shuffle as quietly as possible out of the Hospital Wing, leaving an incredibly bewildered Madam Pomfrey behind them.

"That was close," Sirius's voice buzzed in his ear the second they were clear. "Almost too close." His voice sounded as though he wanted to laugh, though James couldn't see anything at all funny about it. All he wanted to do was get back to bed, and mull over the bandages on Remus's hand. Walking awkwardly along and ignoring Peter and Sirius's quiet argument, James thought. He knew when something was going on. He just couldn't for the life of him figure out what.

0o0

Voices were crashing over him like waves, throwing his battered body onto yet more rocks, more sharp, unforgiving edges of pain. The wolf tried to snarl and fend off the hungry predators that were coming for him, but he couldn't move. His limbs were locked into place, he was coated in a thick gauze which he could neither break nor see through. Giving up, the wolf let the waves drift him along, no longer attempting to fight the irresistible bands of blackness that were closing around him. He couldn't see. He couldn't feel. He couldn't sense much at all…

One thing he could see, however. Through the gauze he could see the bright, silver orb of the moon frowning down heavily at him. Though he didn't know why, just seeing the harsh silver made the wolf want to curl up and whine desperately for help, perhaps for his mother. Though he knew no-one would ever come. No-one could ever come between him and the dangerous threat of the moon bearing down on his life, and no-one could ever take it away.

The wolf and the moon were one…he was rocking violently on the water which he couldn't swim in. He wanted the voices to pull him out, but not one could ever do that. It was impossible. The moon was shining in his eyes. The moon had a hold on him forever.

Remus and the moon were one.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh dear. Well, in case you hadn't gathered, that last bit was Remus in his delirious state there, hearing James and Sirius…in case you thought I'd gone off onto another story entirely. Well, what did you think, guys? James, Sirius and Peter are drawing that tiny bit closer to The Truth. Sorry almost none of this chapter was from Remus's POV, but he was a tiny bit absent….

Thank you SO MUCH for all my reviews. They just kept coming! Almost every day there was yet another review. And thanks a lot for all my reviews for my one shot 'Something Unpredictable.' I was stunned at how many I got for that as well.

Must dash. Review thank-you's will posted tomorrow.

Love and fluff,

Mooncheese xxxxx


	17. Find it before she does

_Not this bloody place again…_

Remus winced as he opened his eyes and sunlight streamed straight into them. Snapping them closed again he tried to move his head out the light, but it was shining directly on his face, no matter where he moved.

_Ow. Light. Hurts. _

Confused, he rolled over, eyes watering as a cool breeze wafted over him, only to be met with beds, gleaming white floor, and several cupboards, or in other words, an empty Hospital Wing. This wasn't so unusual if it was absent of students, but usually Madam Pomfrey was somewhere about. His brow furrowed as the throbbing pain in his hand started to increase steadily, and he attempted to sit up, only to find his muscles were as weak as spaghetti.

"Hello?" he called out cautiously, but his voice only squeezed out in the tiniest whisper, and his throat felt swollen and dry. Swallowing, he gripped the bed's neat white blankets, fighting to remember what had happened to him.

_It's not full moon already, is it?_

That couldn't be right. The last time he'd thought of that, he'd had a whole week. So why did he feel so…so pre-moonish?

Voices outside suddenly drifted into his hearing range, and he looked up sharply, reaching out automatically for his wand, only to find it wasn't there. Looking down he realised for the first time he was wearing Hospital Wing standard pyjamas, which hinted he'd been here all night, or for a day. Or at least for a long time.

The voices were getting disturbingly closer, and Remus pushed himself upwards with shaking arms, looking desperately around for his wand. He was still looking when two people came into the infirmary, and he snapped his eyes upwards, feeling his heart rise in relief as a smiling Madam Pomfrey came towards him.

"Good morning, Mr Lupin," she said airily, marching past his bed and reaching upwards to tug his curtains closed again, relieving the burning sunlight on the back of his neck, "How are you today?"

"Er…" Remus looked past her and felt a jolt of surprise to see Professor Dumbledore standing at the foot of his bed, hands folded in front of him and regarding him with twinkling eyes. "Ok, I guess…" he glanced down at his hand, which, as though in reply, gave another twinge.

"Come here." Madam Pomfrey dragged a chair close to the bedside and gently took hold of his wrist, and began to unwrap the dressing. "These need to be changed every day." Ignoring his look of plain confusion she bent her head over his hand, concentrating on her task, deft fingers unravelling the white material until Remus began to feel air hit his sore palm, making him gasp slightly in pain.

"Mr Lupin, do you remember anything of what happened to you last night?" she asked, soft brown eyes glancing up into his face before looking back down again.

Remus barely heard her. His eyes were fixed curiously on his hand as Pomfrey peeled off the last of the material, then his stomach twisted at the sight of raw, blistering skin, and he hastily looked away, feeling suddenly quite ill. At the end of his bed, he thought he heard Dumbledore suck in his breath sharply, though when he looked over the ancient Headmaster wasn't even looking at him, but appeared to be inspecting the ceiling.

"Lupin! Look at me, boy, this is important." Madam Pomfrey's tone was loaded with severity, and he reluctantly swivelled his head back round to stare at her. His hand still lay, bright red on the spotless sheets, shamelessly uncovered. His head swam with confusion as he blinked at Madam Pomfrey, the absurdity of the situation finally coming around to him. Then again, he had wound up in this place so often it was no longer a surprise to find himself wake up in it any more. But still, he usually did have his memories with him.

"What is the last thing you remember, Remus?" the Medi-Witch questioned gently, bringing him back from his thoughts. After casting an uneasy look at Dumbledore, Remus fixed his eyes on the floor, thinking. He wasn't used to anyone but Madam Pomfrey who knew of his 'secret' around him when he was in the Hospital Wing, and Dumbledore's silent, watchful presence was making him feel uncomfortable.

His mind whirled backwards. If he was honest, the last thing he could remember at the moment was eating dinner yesterday, but he had a sneaking feeling that wouldn't be of much help, so he shielded his eyes with his good hand and stared at the blankets. After dinner they had gone back to the common room – he had been talking to James…he had argued with James…

_The necklace. _

Suddenly, it all came pouring back to him. Remus looked up fast. "I touched a silver chain," he blurted out, suddenly terrified. Silver could poison a werewolf, if it was not counter-acted by the antidote instantly.

_Then again, I'm still here, so something must have gone right. _

Madam Pomfrey nodded and looked vaguely satisfied as she scribbled something on a clipboard. "Foolish boy!" she hissed under her breath, "What were you thinking?"

"I didn't mean to!" Remus responded, nettled. The healer only made an impatient noise with her tongue and gestured towards the peeling skin of his hand.

"How on earth did you manage it, then?" she retorted, throwing a significant look over at the headmaster, "Surely you _knew _what you was touching was silver. Couldn't you sense it? All werewolves seem to have an automatic instinct to avoid dangerous substances."

"Yes, thanks, I do know," snapped Remus, then felt appalled at himself. When had _he_ started answering back to those in authority? Raising her eyebrows, Madam Pomfrey muttered something and ticked a box on her clipboard. Aghast, Remus opened his mouth to apologise, but that was when Professor Dumbledore took a step forwards, and he flinched, looking at him.

"Mr Lupin," said the old man gravely, "How did you come to be touching silver?"

So now he decided to talk. This was obviously what he had come for. Feeling cornered, Remus looked from the headmaster to Madam Pomfrey, who was leaning forwards slightly and regarding him with bright brown eyes. For just a second Remus hesitated – and instantly knew where he had gone wrong. Now they thought he had something to hide. Briefly he thought of the row he and James had had, of the glinting chain flying towards him, of instinctively cupping his hands to catch it, and wondered how he could possibly say all that in the shortest way possible.

"Someone threw a necklace at me," he said eventually. "I didn't recognise it as silver, and caught it. I must have passed out because the pain was so bad." He shrugged. "I don't know why you're making such a fuss over this."

Pomfrey stood up so fast her stool was knocked to the floor with a loud _bang. _"Why are we making such a _fuss_?" she shouted, her cheeks flaring up scarlet, and Remus gaped at her in shock. "Don't you realise you could have _died, _if your friends hadn't contacted me as quickly as they did? Do you really put your life at such a low cost?"

"Poppy," said Dumbledore loudly, "Calm yourself." Looking over at Remus, he shook his head, then offered him a small smile. "Do please think about the meaning of you words before you say them, Mr Lupin."

"That isn't all," Madam Pomfey spat, making Remus start and stare at her. He had never seen her look so angry. "When your friends levitated you in here, they hung around, asking _questions. _Questions I obviously couldn't answer, and had to send them out without any proper explanation." She took a deep breath, then carried on with her rant, unable to feel the sudden nausea swirling in Remus's stomach. He had a feeling this wasn't going anywhere good. "So that Potter, he went to the headmaster, demanding an explanation of what was wrong with you!" She glared at him, eyes narrowed slits. "That is what all the _fuss _is about, Mr Lupin."

He felt as though someone had just kicked him in the stomach. "What did you tell them?" he asked urgently, swinging his gaze round to Dumbledore, who only looked at him with serious blue eyes. "You didn't…" Remus felt his heart begin to thud painfully, "You didn't tell him the _truth_…?"

"No," replied Dumbledore quietly, "I did not. But I did not lie, either." He looked Remus directly in the eyes over his half-moon spectacles. "Your friends are very curious as to what has happened to you, Remus."

He didn't even hear the last part – he was so relieved. Remus sank down in his bed and gazed up at the ceiling, his heart still lurching inside him. For a moment there he had genuinely believed Dumbledore, of all people, had given him away.

"Mr Lupin?"

He looked up. "Sir?"

There was a moment of silence as Dumbledore regarded him almost… severely? "Please keep in mind that your friends will one day discover where you go every month."

He stared at him, heart rate picking up slightly. Surely he wasn't suggesting…?

"I am not forcing you to tell them," the headmaster continued, as though reading his mind. "I am merely warning you. The friends you keep are not the sort who like to be kept in the dark, Mr Lupin."

Remus could only look at him. There wasn't anything he could possibly say to such a blunt statement. Why on earth was he telling him this? Did Dumbledore not think he already knew, had thought about such things many, many times before?

"Thank you, sir," he said in a low voice, "But I do know."

Why did people insist on telling him such obvious things? They may as well have pointed a finger at him and screamed: "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF!" They all said the same things, the kind of words which made Remus want to retort: "Nah, you don't _say_," in the most sarcastic way possible. It was what Sirius or James would do. Why couldn't he be more like them, for once?

"You are carrying a great secret, Mr Lupin, but why should you keep it from those closest to you?"

_Because they'd screech and run away in terror,_ snarled Remus mentally. Merlin, was the old guy on drugs?

"If you don't mind me saying, Professor," he said loudly, "but you don't really understand what it is like to be me."

"True as that may be," Dumbledore concluded, now looking more solemn than ever, "I do still understand what it is like to harbour grave secrets from those I love, and wonder if I should tell them. My wisdom almost always tells me I should, and it is that I follow, instead of the butterflies in my stomach."

_Butterflies? You really do have no idea. _Remus gave a strained smile. "I would like to sleep now, sir."

Madam Pomfrey sprang into life. "Yes, yes, my patient requires much rest and sleep, Profess – Albus. You have worn him out quite enough." And she reached out and poured some smoking, familiar-smelling potion into a goblet, which Remus took with a sigh. More sleeping draught.

Dumbledore inclined his head respectfully, and stepped away. "I shall leave you to rest, Remus, but please do consider what I have told you. It would make such a difference to the life as you live it."

_Oh, go away. _Nodding politely, Remus tipped the goblet up and downed the potion in one go. It really didn't taste so bad after a while, he thought vaguely as Pomfrey helped him into a lying position, salty yet sweet…the effect was like a mallet to the head, and blackness descended abruptly on him, shutting him off once more.

0o0

_James – _

_What the hell is up with you? You look like your dog has just died. Painfully. Write back or else._

_**Sirius – **_

**_I'm touched. You actually look at me in class? I was just thinking about Remus. No, not in that way, you perv, just…thinking you know? _**

_J – _

_Who do you take me for? Some person with their mind constantly in the gutt – _

"I'll be having THAT, thank you, Mr Black." Sirius leapt in shock as the parchment he was scribbling on was jerked sharply out his lap, and looking up he saw with a sinking heart Professor McGonagall was already reading it before he could do anything about it. Not that he could have done anything about it, but still. A few sniggers rang out through the classroom, and he turned to glower at the people behind him just as the note was crumpled violently up into a ball.

"Detention for you and Mr Potter, I think," McGonagall said crisply, before marching back up to the front of the class and dropping the note into the bin beside her desk. She gave James, who was unfortunately sitting right in front of her, a withering look. "Note-passing is not permitted in my class."

"Excuse me, Professor?" James cautiously raised his hand, and Sirius craned his neck to see him properly, "What time will it be for? 'Cause I already have one from Professor Bones."

McGonagall snorted as though this didn't surprise her. "The detention will be scheduled for tonight, Potter, at five o'clock, but with a note from Professor Bones it can be amenable."

Sirius couldn't help but grin as James put his hand back down with a nod and a murmur of thanks. He half expected him to whip out a diary and write it down. Honestly, he wouldn't put that sort of thing past James.

Keeping half an eye on McGonagall, he dipped his quill into ink and began doodling out a picture of a beaver – one with large teeth and glasses exactly like his dear transfiguration professor. Glancing up at the woman at the front, he added a few flies and stink lines for good-measure, then hastily crumpled it up and stuffed it in his pocket when the said teacher started walking in his direction. Within two seconds Sirius's quill was scurrying across the parchment in flat-out work, his brow furrowed in deep concentration as McGonagall came closer, and closer…and passed him without even looking at him. Heaving a sigh of relief, Sirius looked over his shoulder, then ripped off a corner of his work and scribbled out a quick note.

_So who wants to try and forge Bones's handwriting? _

The parchment came sailing back, faster than blinking.

_**You can, as it's your fault we got detention. **_

Opening his mouth in slight outrage, Sirius decided it would be safer not to risk writing back, and added the note to his pocket, and picked up his quill to start 'working' again.

It didn't really surprise him James had been thinking about Remus, in all reality. McGonagall shot him a suspicious look as she made her way up to the front of the classroom again, but apart from that ignored him totally. Sirius pressed the feather part of his quill thoughtfully to his cheek. Remus was still in the Hospital Wing, and it seemed Madam Pomfrey didn't suspect them being in there at all last night, so that was all fine. No – what he didn't get was why Remus was there in the first place. Or why his hand was bandaged up.

Catching James's eye, Sirius gave a jaunty wink, then lowered his head to the parchment, temporarily resting his head on the yellow material and breathing in its smooth, woody scent. Remus was hiding something from them. That much was obvious even to Peter. He had always been vaguely aware of it – well, perhaps not always, but for a while, anyway. Sirius sighed deeply, feeling his warm breath come back into his face. It had never occurred to him to attempt to drag it out of Remus before. Always, Sirius had automatically backed off from touching on other peoples secrets, having enough of them himself, but Remus…he was something different. There was something about the way he talked, the way he carried himself around that sometimes gave off the impression he had the whole world resting on his shoulders.

"Mr Black?"

Damn it. McGonagall sounded stern and tightly reproachful – _so _not a good combination. Opting for a casual response, Sirius kept his head down on the desk.

"Yes, Professor?"

"That's two hours for you tonight."

With a roll of his eyes Sirius sat up without a word, and with a nod Professor McGonagall turned away from him. Sirius pulled a face at her back. He'd had more detentions than hot dinners with teachers like her around – all he'd been doing was resting his head! The bell gave a shrill ring outside, and with a relieved murmur the class dropped their quills and started pushing notebooks into bags. James was already up and walking towards him as Sirius screwed his ink bottle cap back on and slung his bag over his shoulder just as Peter came and stood next to him. With a nod at each other, Sirius turned to walk out the door, but blundered smack into someone.

"Sorry," he grunted, trying to side step them, but as he did his foot trod on the end of the person's robe, and with a sudden thump Sirius saw, out the corner of his eye, someone fall to their knees. Surprised, he looked down and saw Evans sprawled on the floor and glaring up at him.

"Idiot!" she snarled, her face flaming red as she scrambled hastily back up again. "What the hell was that for?"

"I didn't mean to do it!" Sirius fired back at her, and then stopped, staring at her. Evans. _Evans. _He looked at her angrily flushed face, at her fly-away, dark red hair and felt a sudden pull of memory inside him. _Merlin_ – what was it?

"Oh, put your eyes back in!" snapped Evans, and with a heated toss of her head strode away. Sirius stared after her, fighting to remember. Someone had said something about her – something important…

And then, quite without warning, he remembered.

"Evans's necklace!" he said loudly, ignoring the startled look Peter gave him. James had thrown the necklace to Remus, or rather, _at _Remus, Remus had caught it, and then _instantly screamed, hurling it away from him…_

The next thing he knew, a whirlwind of red hair and rage had hit him so hard he took several large steps back in shock, staring at Evans, who was looking far more dangerous then she ever had before. "What did you say about my necklace?" she asked breathlessly, green eyes flashing. "Tell me!"

James made a sudden strangled noise, and Sirius's eyes flew over to him. So did Evans's.

"Did you say something, Potter?"

"Nope. Nothing." James gave Sirius a frantic look. "Er – something caught in my throat."

Evans stared at him for a moment, then slowly looked back round at Sirius. "You just said something about my necklace," she stated quietly, "What was it?"

Sirius looked at her blankly. Inside his mind was teeming with wild, half formed thoughts and alibis, each one more stupid than the next. "I didn't say nothing!" he began defensively, for want of something better, "You must've heard someone else…"

"Black, don't fuck with me, ok?" Evans was looking even more riled now. "I _heard _you!"

"Look, I just said - "

"He did say something," cut over James loudly, and Sirius looked up at him hopefully. "He did mention your necklace, Evans." He smirked at her irritated face. "But we don't know where it is. Remus mentioned it to us last night – we were just talking about it." He grinned and added a slightly sarky: "For your information."

If looks could kill, James would surely be a dead man by now, Sirius thought, as Evans gave him the full narrow-eyed, laser beam glare. "If I find out you're lying, Potter…if you've taken my necklace…"

Damn, but James could lie well. "Yes, m'lady," he replied, giving her a mock bow. "We certainly will."

She looked him right in the eye, and James stared back, poker-faced. Then, finally, Evans turned and walked away, throwing only one suspicious glance behind her.

Sirius waited until he was positive she and any other stragglers had disappeared well out of hearing range before speaking. "Ok. We're screwed," he said, looking round at James and Peter's faces. "What're we gonna do now?"

"First things first," said James with a sigh, starting to stride out of the classroom as well, "Find that necklace before she does."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Well…what a nice, abrupt ending there. Ok, guys, I am SO, SO sorry for not updating any where NEAR as quickly as I should. I could say I've been busy. I could tell you I broke my wrist and couldn't type. I could claim my computer broke down, but I'm going to honest. I just (gulp) couldn't be bothered to write much at all these past few weeks…only luckily, inspiration found me again and I made this chapter into a lovely long one. Aren't you pleased? Aren't you happy for me?

Oh yeah, and I got two A's in my science exams. Remember I had to study for them ages ago? GO ME! Science is not one of my best subjects, so I was pretty damn pleased with that. But more importantly…

THREE (or four, depends how you look at it) DAYS UNTIL HBP! WOOT! I have a really important question for you guys. **Who do YOU think the Half Blood Prince is?** My friend thinks Neville. Still says so, even when I pointed out he's a pure blood. But whatever. Leave your thoughts in the review, if you drop one by…

Until next time, which will be AFTER the HBP!

Mooncheese xxxx


	18. Allergies

"So…let's go over this one more time," said Sirius, running his hands through his hair and staring confusedly into the fire, "Why are we here?"

"To find Evan's necklace," replied James, crawling past him on his hands and knees and peering under the sofas.

"But why is Evans here?"

"Because I walked in on you looking for it and realised what you were doing!" snapped Evans, standing to the side of him with her arms folded. "Check the armchair again, Potter."

"But why is she here?" Sirius pointed at a blond, heavy jawed girl with big, hoop earrings sitting next to him.

"I'm Lily's friend," she replied, without taking her eyes off James's rear end, which was all that was visible of him as he scrabbled desperately around under the armchair.

"So?"

The girl rolled her eyes and didn't answer. Sirius shrugged and looked away, his eyes falling on Peter's feet.

"And to conclude…what the hell is Peter doing?"

"Looking for that necklace!" came Peter's indignant, rather muffled voice from behind the sofa, "What did you think I was doing?"

Sirius grinned. Now here was a question he could answer. "Well, Peter, we all know how you like to retreat behind the couch when the world gets you down…"

Evan's friend threw her head back and laughed loudly, and James sniggered along with her, but broke off laughing with a sudden: "Oh-ho!"

"Have you got it?" asked Evans frantically, as her and Sirius rushed over to the armchair, just as James wriggled backwards and knelt on the carpet, a great deal of fluff attached to the side of his head and a magazine clutched in his hand.

"My _Quidditch Mania_!" he said enthusiastically, brushing cob-webs off it, "I've been looking for this for _ages…_"

With one furious movement, Evans whipped the magazine out his hand and slapped him round the head with it. Hard.

"Ouch!" James yelled, standing up at once to glare down at her, "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Does this look like my necklace?" Evans shouted back at him, the angry blotches of scarlet creeping into her cheeks again, "You made me think you had it!"

James raised his eyebrows at her. "So it's my fault you jump to conclusions?"

Not caring to listen to the retort, Sirius glanced round and saw Peter standing behind the sofa, looking on with interest as the pair snapped at each other. Sidling up to him, Sirius muttered out the corner of his mouth: "So does she know James broke it yet?"

"Huh?" Peter mumbled, eyes still glued to Evans, "Oh, right. No, I think James forgot to mention that bit, somehow."

Sirius shook his head mock-disapprovingly, and was about to say something in reply, when he saw something out the corner of his eye glitter. Turning his head, he scanned the common room floor, and at first thought it had been his imagination, but suddenly he saw it again. With a broad smile he bent down and tugged at the part of the silver chain he could see was poking out from under the golden rug, and after a bit of manipulating, out came Evan's familiar, broken, green heart necklace.

"Hey guys," he said casually, standing up and holding it aloft, "I found it."

Silence was all that came back to him, and looking up he saw James back under the armchair and Evans had her back to him, watching James. At his words, however, she turned slowly around, her bright green eyes falling on what was dangling from Sirius's fingers. Her hand flew to her mouth. For a moment she looked at though she was going to cry.

"Oh," she whispered, and to Sirius's surprise her voice sounded rather wobbly, "It's broken, isn't it?"

James emerged from the armchair again, guilt written all over his face. Even Sirius felt rather bad as he came forwards and held it out to her. She looked totally stricken, he thought, as he watched her take in the blackened silver chain, and, worst of all, the broken, jagged half of the heart shaped jade. He almost wanted to hug her, she looked so upset, before he reminded himself they weren't exactly friends, and looked pointedly at the blond girl still lounging on the sofa, who only yawned and drummed her long-nailed fingers on her knee.

"I kept thinking it might be broken, or the chain might have snapped," she whispered, her hand still over her mouth, "but I just kept hoping it wasn't."

James came over, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "Er," he said stupidly, raking a hand through his hair, "Um. I'm real sorry, Evans." He stared fixedly at his shoes. "I've got the other half to it," he muttered, repeatedly running his hand through his hair, "D'you…d'you want it?"

Evans looked up at him dazedly. "Other…half?" she asked, the tiniest frown on her face, "Why do you have the other half?"

"I…ah…found it," squeaked James, sounding slightly like Peter for the smallest of moments. He cleared his throat, then thrust his hand in his pocket and held out the chipped green stone to her, determinedly not meeting her eye. Evans looked down at it, frowning. Then she carefully picked it up without saying a word. Swallowing slightly, she nodded to Sirius and scooped her necklace off his hand as well, holding both items together in one fist. With a slightly tremulous, "Thank you," to no-one in particular, she walked swiftly up the girl's dormitories staircase, her face crumpled and fighting tears. The blond girl gave a sigh and jumped up to run after her, and after a few seconds the sound of their clumping footsteps died away. James's shoulders visibly relaxed.

"Sweet _Merlin,_" he sighed, sinking into the sofa, "I thought that'd never end."

"Did you see her face?" Peter joined in, flopping face first into a cushion, "You'd have thought someone had kicked her in the stomach."

"I never realised it meant that much to her," muttered James, gazing into the fireplace, "If I'd have known…" he trailed off and flushed slightly.

Sirius stared at him. "Yeah? If you had known, what would you have done?"

James tried to shrug nonchalantly, but ruined the act by colouring even pinker. "Oh. You know." He yawned and stretched his arms, then rumpled his hair once more for good measure, carefully not looking Sirius in the eye.

"No, I don't know…" said Sirius teasingly, a knowing grin suddenly falling onto his face. "Would you like to elaborate, James?"

James coughed, went even redder then quickly stood up and said: "Right, well, I'm going to bed. G'night, all." Without waiting for a reply he turned and almost ran up the boys stairs. Sirius watched him go with a half amused, half disgusted look on his face.

"He fancies her."

Peter whipped his head round to look at him. "No, he doesn't! They hate each other!"

"Say's who?" snorted Sirius, falling back onto the sofa and pulling a face. "They just argue a lot, which is a sure sign in itself if you ask me."

"But Evans can't stand him!"

Sirius shrugged. "Whatever. I reckon James likes her, and I'm sticking to it."

Peter stared at him with an awed look on his face. "Wow. Imagine if they _dated_!" He giggled nervously, then turned his head to check James wasn't lurking at the top of the stairs, listening. Satisfied he wasn't he turned back and grinned excitedly again at Sirius. "Are you going to tell James you know?"

"Not bloody likely!" Sirius snorted, "He'd start hexing me before I would get all the words out." He winced at the thought. "Nah, best leave well enough alone."

They were both silent for a moment, gazing into the fire. Sirius sighed and ran a hand lightly through his cropped hair, not really seeing the flickering flames at all. Remus had been in the Hospital Wing for three days now – they hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. Every visit they tried to make was thrown by a prune-faced Madam Pomfrey, who had told them crisply that their friend was 'sleeping.' Damn – for one person, Remus sure did sleep a lot. Sirius smiled slightly at his own joke, then looked around as Peter stood up.

"I think I'll go to bed as well," he announced, "Coming?"

"Nah, you're alright," muttered Sirius, "I don't feel like sleeping. I'll stay down here…"

Peter shrugged and tramped his way up the stairs as well, leaving Sirius with the sofa to himself. Deciding he might as well make the most of it, Sirius stretched his legs out so his feet rested comfortably on the opposite arm, tucked his hands behind his head and gazed up at the ceiling. The usual chatter of the common room was gone from the air: it seemed everyone had gone to bed. Warm and comfortable in the light of the gradually dying fire, Sirius felt his eyelids start to flutter closed.

"Sirius?"

A shadow fell on him, and his eyes snapped open. There – standing with a rather odd look on his face – was Remus.

"Remus?" asked Sirius, feeling a grin of delight break out over his face, "So you finally tore yourself away from Pomfrey!"

Remus was standing with his back to the fire, throwing his face into shadow, so Sirius could barely see his expression. "I did," he replied, his voice sounding slightly strained. Sirius watched his hands twist a piece of robe around his fingers, and raised an eyebrow when Remus did not elaborate.

"So? You've got some explaining to do, buddy. What was wrong with you?" His voice echoed bluntly around the common room, and to his surprise, he saw Remus cringe. He frowned, then took his legs off the sofa and thumped the place beside him. "Sit down," he said, squinting up at his shadowy silhouette. "I can't see you up there."

Remus visibly hesitated, before lowering himself gingerly onto the edge of the sofa, as though expecting to have to leap up and run at any moment. Now his face was in the light, Sirius looked at him properly, and his eyebrows rose even higher. His friend's skin was pale – almost deathly pale, with dark patches circling the lower rims of his eyes. _So much for all that sleeping, _thought Sirius critically, taking in his appearance. Remus looked like he had been up since the crack of dawn – perhaps even longer.

"So what was wrong with you?" he asked, getting straight to the point. "We've been pretty worried about you, mate. Pomfrey wouldn't let us see you, the old cow."

Remus's hair hung down in dirty, rusty looking strands, covering his face. "No, she told me you had visited every time I woke up. I had to sleep a lot, you see. Pretty knackered."

"But why were you knackered? Come on, Remus." Sirius felt himself starting to get rather irritated. Remus's lack of eye contact was starting to annoy him, and the tension in the air was building. "You have no idea how weird this seems to me – to all of us! You caught that bloody necklace of Evans's and passed out. Why?" Remus rubbed his arm uncomfortably, and Sirius heard him heave a deep breath.

"Sirius, there's something I have to tell you." His voice was so quiet Sirius could barely hear it, and he leant back uneasily against the sofa, his immediate instinct to run away. This sort of situation was deeply embarrassing for him.

"Mate, you don't have to tell me anything," he said awkwardly, but Remus laughed slightly, and the tension in the air relaxed.

"It's nothing important. It's just that – well – I have an allergy. A really – well, _quite_ rare one." He drew another deep breath, and Sirius heard the tremble in it. "I'm allergic to silver."

"_Silver_?"

"Yeah." Remus coughed and rubbed his arm again. "It – burns me. And, well, you know that necklace was made out of silver, and the pain was so bad I just passed out, it's nothing important. I – I just thought you should know."

Sirius frowned at him in silence, and suddenly recalled the bandages on Remus's hand. Yes, that would make sense, if silver burned him. But he had never heard of people being allergic to silver before. Then again – you could get all kinds of allergies these days. Just because he hadn't heard of it didn't mean it didn't exist. "Ok…" he said slowly, studying Remus's tense outline. "Why didn't you ever tell us this before?"

A shrug. "It didn't seem that important."

"Didn't seem that important? If James had known, he wouldn't have been stupid enough to throw that necklace at you!"

"I didn't know he would do that," replied Remus softly. His liquid blue eyes reflected the glowing embers of the fire, and Sirius stared at it as well. His head was starting to feel rather muzzy with lack of sleep, and a faint ringing was starting up in his ears.

"But how do you manage?" he mumbled sleepily, suppressing a yawn. "We have to use silver knives in Potions sometimes."

"They have wooden handles, so that's ok. I just have to be careful not to touch the blade."

"Are you going to tell James and Peter?"

Another shrug. "If they ask."

"They will." Sirius tried to fight off the yawn, but the more he struggled, the more fiercely it pulled at his jaw, and in the end he gave up and allowed himself to go slack-jawed. Remus glanced around, meeting eyes with him for the first time.

"Tired?"

"Nothin' compared to you," muttered Sirius, rubbing his eyes. "You look dead on your feet."

Remus smiled. "I'm alright. I'm going up to bed now, anyway." He stood up, and Sirius followed his lead with a grunt. Together they trooped up the spiralling staircase without speaking to each other, Sirius too tired, and Remus lost in his own thoughts.

Remus watched as Sirius collapsed onto his bed and buried himself under his duvet without removing his clothes. Soon his snores were filling the air, and Remus smiled slightly to himself, tip-toeing quietly across the room to his bed by the window, where a pale, ghostly light filtered in through the curtains. Folding his robe neatly into a pile at the foot of his bed, he kicked off his shoes and lay down as well, feeling drained, but glad he was back at last, despite the inevitable questions he knew he would get in the morning.

His plan had worked. Remus felt the old guilt stir up in his stomach as he lay there, gazing up at the darkened canopy roof. Sirius hadn't recognised silver allergies as a characteristic of a werewolf – just as Pomfrey had assured him he wouldn't. "_A thirteen year old boy, know something like that?"_ She had snorted when he had anxiously asked her. _"Don't be so ridiculous, Lupin. He may think it a little strange, yes, but only a medi-witch or a Defence against the Dark Arts Professor would know if it was mentioned in casual conversation to them." _Much as Remus would never underestimate his friend's intelligence, he would have to admit she was right. Sirius wouldn't suspect a thing…unless, of course, he decided to look it up…

"Don't be so stupid," he told himself sharply, (in his head, of course.) "Sirius, look something up? You know how unlikely that is. Just stop worrying and go to sleep."

His mind put temporarily at rest, he rolled over and yanked his curtain across, blocking the thin blade of moonlight. Then he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to come to him.

0oo0oo0oo0oo0

This entire chapter is dedicated to RT, because if it wasn't for her (or him) then this chapter wouldn't be here. Your review got me off my lazy...backside and motivated me.I had all but given up this story because I thought people just weren't interested in it any more, so I moved onto another original story. But taking a break from it was good for me: I've discovered I love writing Remus again! I am SO SO sorry to any of you out there who actually do like my odd story, with my over-emotional Remus and my crazy version of his friends. And for those of you who don't review...hope you enjoyed reading this chapter anyway!

By the way, it's my GSCE year, and my teachers are putting quite a load of preassure on us at the moment. So I probably won't be updating reguarly. But I won't leave it three months again. More like six months. No, I'm joking! Come back! I'll be good, I promise! (Weeps into pillow) Ok, I don't know where the pillow came from. I'm going to stop talking now.

Love and peace,

Mooncheese xxx


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